I'm Safely Home (A)
My thoughts on two losses.21 total reviews
Comment from pbomar1115
This a sad story about the loss of two people. The writing is creative and new to me but understandable for the most part. You covered a lot of information with this style. I've never seen it before but great work all the same.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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This a sad story about the loss of two people. The writing is creative and new to me but understandable for the most part. You covered a lot of information with this style. I've never seen it before but great work all the same.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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Thanks pbomar and Happy Fourth to you and yours...
Ricky1024
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You're welcome.
Phillip
Comment from apky
Because I find your words so beautiful, I keep stealing whole stanzas from you that I like to print and pin on my office wall or tuck in my notebook, I just want to thank you for them and tell you that today I stole the following:
"I am now at Peace...
"Forever...
"The *Suffering is now over and Gone...
"Just beautiful Angels that Sing...
"A Sweet, Sweet, Song...
"Yes, Safely Home...
"In Heaven at Last...
"Life over...
"Life passed...
<><><><><><><><><><><><><>June 20th, 2017<><><><><><><><><><>
"Safely Home, Together Again" {B}
"Here I go...
"Coming now...
"Next to You...
"Drifting...
"Coming next to You...
"To be...
Bless,
Apky
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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Because I find your words so beautiful, I keep stealing whole stanzas from you that I like to print and pin on my office wall or tuck in my notebook, I just want to thank you for them and tell you that today I stole the following:
"I am now at Peace...
"Forever...
"The *Suffering is now over and Gone...
"Just beautiful Angels that Sing...
"A Sweet, Sweet, Song...
"Yes, Safely Home...
"In Heaven at Last...
"Life over...
"Life passed...
<><><><><><><><><><><><><>June 20th, 2017<><><><><><><><><><>
"Safely Home, Together Again" {B}
"Here I go...
"Coming now...
"Next to You...
"Drifting...
"Coming next to You...
"To be...
Bless,
Apky
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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"Hi apky!"
"I Once had a stripper or License Cabaret Dancer from "Delilah's Den"
in Toms River, New Jersey named "Carmen" tell me that the first Poem that I wrote for her...
"Was on her locker Door...
"And, before she would entertain...
"She would read it...
"Happy Fourth for you and yours...
Ricky1024.
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Smart lady!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks shocking and most grievous losses of lives in the family, wife and son, all from happy moments of playful living state to death as all bade good bye telling 'I'm safely home, I'm safely heaven'; I liked.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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This speaks shocking and most grievous losses of lives in the family, wife and son, all from happy moments of playful living state to death as all bade good bye telling 'I'm safely home, I'm safely heaven'; I liked.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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Thanks Alcreator, This poem means a lot to me...
Ricky1024
Comment from Mustang Patty
thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem about your loss and the events of that fateful night. The tragedies in your life leave me at a loss for words,
~patty~
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem about your loss and the events of that fateful night. The tragedies in your life leave me at a loss for words,
~patty~
Comment Written 30-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Thanks Miss Mustangpatty.'
"Heard nothing but good things about you...
My latest will explain more deeply called///
'With All My Heart.'
Ricky...
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
so sad and so emotionally written in short bursts of lines. A different form of writing than I have seen before but dramatically tells the story
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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so sad and so emotionally written in short bursts of lines. A different form of writing than I have seen before but dramatically tells the story
Comment Written 30-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Thanks another in construction...
Ricky...
Comment from country ranch writer
Condolences from my house to yours. Death comes suddenly to those we love no matter how we try to prevent it. It is Gods way of saying it is their time to come home for they are needed and when it is your time Inwill be there for you to safely take you home to them. In the mean time your time here on earth is need to continue what you must do. I have your life all laid out for you.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Condolences from my house to yours. Death comes suddenly to those we love no matter how we try to prevent it. It is Gods way of saying it is their time to come home for they are needed and when it is your time Inwill be there for you to safely take you home to them. In the mean time your time here on earth is need to continue what you must do. I have your life all laid out for you.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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The whole story is here partially, under construction...
24.
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Smiles
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Smiles
Comment from Just A. Pretense
I am on the organ donor list as well. I think it is the ultimate gift you can give someone. I am extremely sorry for your loss and was moved by your writing. I have included a few suggested changes that might help make it even stronger!
"Mother to Daughter's... " -especially to rhyme with slaughter later on and to match father to son, I recommend changing this to 'Mother to Daughter'
"Even in the most brightest of blue skies" -either get rid of most or change to most bright
'Every Lasting' -I think this should be 'ever' lasting
'My Only poor Son...' -completely a matter of taste, I just think it might flow better 'my poor, only son'
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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I am on the organ donor list as well. I think it is the ultimate gift you can give someone. I am extremely sorry for your loss and was moved by your writing. I have included a few suggested changes that might help make it even stronger!
"Mother to Daughter's... " -especially to rhyme with slaughter later on and to match father to son, I recommend changing this to 'Mother to Daughter'
"Even in the most brightest of blue skies" -either get rid of most or change to most bright
'Every Lasting' -I think this should be 'ever' lasting
'My Only poor Son...' -completely a matter of taste, I just think it might flow better 'my poor, only son'
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Thanks for your 'Suggests' but unless an error...
"I have already re-written from paper to lap...
Ricky1024
Comment from Bill Schott
It's always good to feel our loved ones are safe wherever they are. Knowing that pain is over is a greater joy than the suffering of the loss (I hope). You have lost more than most and I hope your writing keeps you safe.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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It's always good to feel our loved ones are safe wherever they are. Knowing that pain is over is a greater joy than the suffering of the loss (I hope). You have lost more than most and I hope your writing keeps you safe.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Thanks and you are the first to say this about my works, which is true...
"Called 'Journaling."
Ricky1024.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Ricky. So sorry for your loss. Your words have the power to drag a reader through the thought process and story. So many bad things happen to good people. I hope you continue to live in faith ... Solid and sad write my friend. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Hi Ricky. So sorry for your loss. Your words have the power to drag a reader through the thought process and story. So many bad things happen to good people. I hope you continue to live in faith ... Solid and sad write my friend. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Thanks Miss Kiwi, you are a sweet fruit!
Your words on these reviews always brighten my day!
Ricky 1024
Comment from Teri7
This is so well written with so much grief and pain. You used very good descriptive wording. I know it has to be hard to relive this time in your life. I am so sorry you lost your child and your wife. May God bless you and give you strength each day! Blessings, Teri
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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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This is so well written with so much grief and pain. You used very good descriptive wording. I know it has to be hard to relive this time in your life. I am so sorry you lost your child and your wife. May God bless you and give you strength each day! Blessings, Teri
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Thanks again Miss Teri7 for your kind thoughts and review."
Ricky1024