Comment from mermaids

Excellent

You have a smooth flow of lines and words that add to the strength of the poem. Your use of descriptive words brings forth the feel of pain and sadness that is captured in the river of pain.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

It is like mom said, the excess baggage has to be shed or you carry it forever and it is not comfortable to do.
Very, very dark and yetso compelling to read. Nicely done

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

Luna, this could be song lyrics "THE RIVER OF PAIN" Wow this is obviously very personal to you and you hacve expressed it so candidly a good write

dip

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Exceptional

Hi Jeni - this is a very well written and extremely moving poem, dedicated to your son Mickey. To lose a son - I cannot think of anything more unbearable. My sister lost her son Bruce the same way nine years ago. My heart goes out to you. 'River of Pain' - great title, well displayed with an excellent, appropriate picture. I'm glad you revived this piece as I have really enjoyed reading it. Have a good Christmas and all the best to you and yours in the new year 2017. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

Comment from AnnaLinda

Excellent

Luna,

I'm glad you revived this for us to read now.
River of Pain...You've penned an interesting
journey down that river...where we must
carry our own load due to our own sins.

I guess we can all relate to the pain and
message conveyed here. I especially liked
this stanza:

"I've packed my resentments,
my anger and lust.
Bad memories are stuffed in a bag full of dust.
They'll flow down the river of pain."

Linda

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

Comment from Ella25

Excellent

What a great poem of venturing to the darkness. I started to review it, and a poem was born of this inspiration. A light. Response to the pain you defined in your work. You tie it so finely with the right image of gloom, despair. Red words like blood coming from the wounds you carry for so long. May there be light, a blessing coming this way. Thank you for sharing. You are welcome to pick at my new creation. It will be
"A Venture."

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016

I can wait to read "A pusher,) Ella! I'm happy that my poem inspired you! Yes, there is always light on the horizon, it sometimes just takes awhile to appear. But it always does.

Thanks for your kind comments about my poem and the inspiration it gave you.

Love,

jeni

reply by Ella25 on 20-Dec-2016

You are welcome, Jeni. Living in the light is better than darkness. I have been keeping this way all my life as a child of God. Sadly many people go thru obstacles and hard time in life and I sympathise with them, though, some don't want. Love, Ella

Comment from Eternal Muse

Excellent

This is pretty powerful. Many lived through it, I traveled many rivers of pain up and down. I can feel your pain, this poem gave me goosebumps. Well, remember one thing:. No matter how bad is the weather - the sun always comes out. We have to hold on to that.

Thank you for sharing, love, Y.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016

Thank you, ytbard! I'm glad you can feel the pain in this piece. Wow, it gave you goosebumps...that's awesome and I appreciate you saying that to me. Yes, it ALWAYS gets better, doesn't it. "This, too shall pass."

Yours,

luna

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

this is a sorrowful piece of poetry dear jeni! i think you have successfully tapped the darker side of your soul. how sad you make me feel as your world touches darkness-
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
rebekka x

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016

Dear rebekka,

When I wrote this 10 years ago, I was deeply involved with a man who was into all things gothic and dark like I am. You wouldn't know it from my fairytales, but my roots in the darkness are deep. I consider all things dark and gothic beautiful.

I'm sorry the poem made you sad, but on the other hand glad that it caused you to feel.

blessings back!

Jeni

Comment from mbroyles2

Excellent

Seeing a different side of you here.
Nice.
Tremendous imagery and I think we all have bags to carry as we travel down the river of pain.
Nicely done.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016

Yes, we all have bags to carry, that's exactly right. I'm happy that you enjoyed my dark side for you'll be seeing more of it.

Thanks also for the comment regarding the imagery.


Merry Christmas,

jeni

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Well, I for one am very glad to see that you did, Jeni.
The poem has a very unique rhyme scheme, and the piece flows well naturally when read aloud.
No pun intended...
I know Charron, the Ferryman who takes us across the River Styx quite intimately.
I believe the last time I was only allowed to come back was because I'd forgotten my gold coin he requires for his fare.
He won't fall for the trick again.
Nicely done, and the presentation is stunningly, decadently ...dark...
~Dean

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016

I was waiting to see if you'd review this, Dean. I'm so happy that you enjoyed it, and approved of the presentation, not to mention that I'm glad it flowed well for you when you read it allowed. Next time, you'd better remember that coin.

I have a few more dark poems that I'm going to be posting, some are short and I'm thinking of revising them, but I sort of like them the way they are. Let me know what you think of the others. You KNOW your opinion mattered to me for this poem.


Merry Christmas,

jeni

reply by Dean Kuch on 20-Dec-2016

I will certainly let you know, Jeni.
You are more than welcome.
~Dean :}