Reviews from

Stranger Danger

The neighbors you know and the neighbors you don't know.

50 total reviews 
Comment from Treischel
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your story is as astounding as it is compelling. It's so sad that batred and bigotry exist, but recent events certainly demonstrate that it hasn't gone away yet. Well written. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016
    Yes, Treischel, "recent events certainly demonstrate that it hasn't gone away yet." Just last week in a town in upstate New York, the only black fireman in the department received a threatening letter in his mailbox to leave town. When he did not, arsonists set his apartment on fire. I was shocked. I thought my family's story was old news and that hatred and bigotry did not exist today. My, was I wrong. Thank you for your review.
Comment from seaglass
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You are an amazing storyteller. I started this post giggling at your wonderful descriptions of Halloween, expecting the piece to continue as funny. Then you broke my heart. What kind a horrible excuses of human beings can do such harm? They are everywhere, I know. I hear their voices more now than ever. It seems there was progress against hate and then a tremendous backslide recently. Stranger danger is a bit over rated. Most child abuse and sexual attacks of kids are perpetrated by people known to the child.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016
    Yes, seaglass, that is an old storytelling technique of mine. I start with something funny, and then I break the reader's or audience member's hearts. By putting contrasting emotions in my story, I enhance its bittersweet quality. I strike a balance.

    I talked to a colleague about how neighbors set my house on fire but strangers put it out. She said, like you, that most crimes are committed by people you know. I ran with this idea. Thank you for your generous, six star review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Personally, I'll never understand hatred in any capacity. Yes, there are plenty of people I don't like, but I don't hate them. Most, I just pity, because you can't fix stupid. Sorry, for such a remark. However, remember, I'm not judging them. I am only judging them by their fruits. LOL. Of course, back in the sixties in our all white neighborhood, they took up petitions to make us move because of our friends and promoting evil. Seriously. My family's closest friends were black, and every Saturday night or Sunday evening everyone would get together at our house to eat, fellowship, and play music. These were the people we grew up with, and were as close to us as any family member. About forty people, three white, and . . . you get the picture. Still my happiest memories in life. We got death threats, burning bags of dog crap, sugar in our gas tanks, a big white cross in the yard, and you name it, it happened. But my dad wouldn't listen to none of it, and refused to change anything. My mother would just tell those people, "We'll pray for you. God knows your heart." Finally, things came to a head. Three big bruisers come to our house with bats, but they were in for the shock of their lives, when my dad beat the hello out of them all, took their bats and broke them. They ran like the chicken hearts they were. For a few weeks after that, the cops circled the block about every fifteen minutes. Before long, the get together was for the whole neighborhood. We had to move to a field at the park. My dad says there were usually about 150 to 200 people there every week. Thanks for sharing another of your fine stories. Great job. :-)

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2016
    Yes, Ric, and thank you for sharing your story, too. It gives me hope. You should write it down and expand upon it. You're Dad was great. I wonder if my family's story would have been different if my parents had not divorced four months before the incident. Living alone with five children, my mother may have been seen as an easy mark. It would have been great to have a Super Dad such as yours defending defending our family. I am grateful that neighbors came to our aid.

    Thank you for your review and for sharing your story.
Comment from Loren (7)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A startling and revealing story. Startling in that I am yet not so calloused as to be alarmed by such hatred and bigotry of others. It seems others may call such acts as mundane in this modern world. Hopefully, I will never accept this. The story is revealing as well in that the writer can still see the good in others. And this in turn gives hope to us all. Well done and I'm sorry you and your family ever had to endure this. Loren

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2016
    Yes, Loren, to me what made this story successful is "that the writer can still see the good in others. And this in turn gives hope to us all." Other writers may have ranted about the injustice of the arson attack, but hatred and anger does not always provide a path forward. I am glad I put this story to rest so that my family can move forward. Thank you for your review.
Comment from tfisher12
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I read just the first few paragraphs of this work and became a fan of your page. When I read the story all the way through, I knew I made the right choice. Your storytelling is provocative and heartfelt. You take the reader on a journey while telling a story with elements of hatred, through the perspective of innocence. I like how you show that through all that happened, there is love still. Great work.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2016
    Yes, tfisher12, I am a storyteller who performs on stage. This is my script I need to rehearse to get it under five minutes for next week's performances. Telling in front of audiences and seeing hundreds of stories a year influences how I write stories. Given that some of these storytelling events offer prizes, I go for the win by crafting stories that will appeal and move audiences. My last story, "How to Get Lost in Italy," placed third in a storytelling event in Oakland and second in FanStory's Nonfiction story contest. I am glad that you grasped "that through all that happened, there is love still." Thank you for your review.
Comment from Muffins
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The story is told in graphic details and perfect point of view from a child's perspective. Hate especially racial hate is an evil that is taught in the home. The home is a child's first school. Thank God you had decent people living next to you that saved you and your families life. Its' a shame that of all of the Halloween's you had, this one, because the evil act of other, sticks out.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2016
    Yes, Muffins, of all of the Halloweens, this one was the one my family remembers most. After I wrote my story I discovered a 1992 diary entry in which my family still talked about the event twenty-years after it happened.

    Thank you for noting my child's point of view and thank you for your review. I appreciate it.
reply by Muffins on 09-Aug-2016
    Your welcome.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello, Andre. I'm going to skip the formalities and dig right in...if you don't mind?

As one of only two black families in our neighborhood, we knew if we only visited the homes of families we knew, our trick-or-treating would end in ten minutes. ... Hahaha...forgive me for laughing, Andre, but I found this statement to be not only telling in relation to racial prejudice, but also pretty damn funny as well. Heh-heh-heh...

Pound. Pound. Pound. Someone pounded on our front door. My family stumbled through the dark hall to answer it. A white neighbor stood on our front porch. "I'm your neighbor who lives behind you. Did you know the back of your house is on fire?" ... With all due respect, did it have to be "a white neighbor", Andre? How about a caring neighbor, or a concerned neighbor? What does race have to do with them alerting your family to the blazing inferno engulfing the rear of your house?
Look, I HATE the main-stream media for always playing the "race card" to earn higher ratings whenever anything bad happens to a black teen. Bad things happen to white teens as well. They just aren't reported by the media.
I have an adopted son named Anwar, whose Jamaican by birth, and whose black parents living in Manhattan and Norfolk, Virginia, respectively, didn't want him. He thrived, was loved and embraced by a community FILLED with mostly white, bible-thumping rednecks, even though there are very few black families who choose to live way out here in the boondocks of Ohio, as I do.
We ALL bleed red when cut, and we ALL die and decay. Who cares what color we are?

Just a thought...

Our suspicions fell upon the Powers family up the block, the ones who called us the N-word every chance they got; the ones who knocked down our fences; the ones who threw garbage in our yard. We had moved to that neighborhood before they did, but they treated us as the outsiders, as if we didn't belong. ... It is Caucasian people like the Powers family who epitomize the embodiment of what the oft-mentioned "N-Word" in your story truly means, Andre.

As a United States Marine who fought and saw some of my close friends die during Operation Enduring Freedom on the island of Grenada in '83, I can tell you most unequivocally that I couldn't have cared any less if the man who had my back was white, black, yellow, red or even purple. All I cared about is that his aim was true, and he was wearing Lean, Mean, Marine Corps Green.

Great story, my friend...
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 Comment Written 09-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2016
    Thank you, Dean, for your review. I had a laugh that you had a laugh. proving once again that I am unable to predict how audiences and readers will respond to my stories. You make a good point about my use of the phrase "white neighbor" and I have changed it to "an alarmed neighbor" because it makes an active sentence that the audience/reader can see. It does not matter the color of the neighbors who helped us, just as long as they helped.

    I always appreciate your reviews because I travel through some dark territory in my own and in my family's past. I also appreciate your generous, six star review and for enlightening the darkness.
reply by Dean Kuch on 09-Aug-2016
    I always enjoy your stories immensely, Andre.
    This Halloween tale was no exception.
    You have a distinct style a flair to your writing which sucks the reader inexorably into the middle of the action.
    It is also error free, so I only have to focus on reading and not a mess of grammatical errors.
    That's always a plus in my book.
    You're more than welcome, my friend.
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Comment from Lovinia
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Andre

Another tale from your life. So sad you had to grow up knowing hate so young. You must have lived with fear for so long, yet you remain in your own spirit and find love instead of hate. These sort of incidents must be difficult to forgive, yet best for your own soul. I've heard some ugly stories about halloween over the years. It has never really taken on in Australia. We had a few years when my children were young and a lot of fun. I even hosted a Halloween party and we constructed a scary haunt. Happy memories for me and my children, such an unhappy one for you and your family. My gosh, you could have lost your house, and even worse, your lives. I'm thankful you had a neighbour who assisted and took away some of the reproach towards the white families. Perhaps it was difficult for yours being only one of two black families in the neighbourhood ... perhaps it was of benefit to see that only some whites are racist and others will befriend.

Your opening paragraph draws the reader in ... into your world as a young person. For some I can imagine that what you tell here is impossible, perhaps not in the US, but in countries like mine, where racism exists but not in the public eye so much.

You make us aware of "stranger danger" early in your piece. This term means different things in different areas. I grew up in an all white, middle class neighbourhood. I really wouldn't have known much about our Australian Aborigines except for visiting my mother's home town out in the more outback just before the desert took over. There were Aboriginals in the town, at least mostly on the outskirts, and the Chinese and Italians who provided the general store with fruit and veggies. We were taught to respect and speak respectfully, yet we would not have been encouraged to play with the children.

I hope that writing your own stories of this horrible injustice provides some cathartic relieve, it is not something one would forget. I do feel it is lucky you had the sense to bypass rather than confront the Powers for Halloween treats. Good sense.

The part about your house fire, what a malicious attack ... I can imagine it would be difficult to comprehend as a child. I only saw touches of this type of behaviour as I grew up, though I was always socially aware.

"Like a clutch of chicks we kids flocked after our mother ..." how charming, creative and utterly endearing; I love the touches of a gentle side of you in your writing. You also express your dramatic side with the description of the fire and the events surrounding it. So unfortunate your mother couldn't even find assistance by reporting the crime ... possibly not a lot of expectation that the matter would be looked into and the perpetrators punished.

There are many like the Powers, who get away with their ignorance and cruelty ... and worse, it continues down the line until someone might stand up and choose a different way of thinking. It is not always about race, they find anything to perpetuate their madness.

Sorry, I've doodled on, it is hard not to feel the pain you must have felt, and a certain guilt that people of my colour have done some horrific things in the name of hate. I'm so pleased you create societal awareness in the peaceful way you do ... your stories. I wish they could be performed in schools and form discussions for a better attitude. Begin while the children are still young ... discuss bad experiences, and foster good experiences.

A solid, interesting story here my friend. Defining racism, yet also determining the 'stranger' danger ... so much craziness by ones we know, and they might live right next door or across the street, even in our own homes. Hate comes in many forms. Bravo for your neighbours who helped ... yet after such an event, you continued your separation ... I would love to read that they became friends with you ... such was the times.

Great work. Tight writing, no excess verbiage, descriptive and dramatic where needed, raises an important topic for pondering and understanding. I love your well considered closing line. Why aren't your countrymen voting for someone like you for President? The world would be a much better place! Great work. I do hope you get to perform this one. Hugs - Lovi xoxox

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
    Yes, Lovinia, I plan on performing this story. I am going in rehearsals to commit it to memory. Writing this story took me forty years. I noticed that my stories, poetry, drawings, and photos from my teens and twenties used fantasy. science fiction, and horror to allude to the event. I lacked the language, the tools, and the comprehension to address this incident.

    Now that I am a storyteller who has performed hundreds of times and read thousands of stories, I can look at this incident and figure out to address it. Key is that I did not start my story with the fire but with what appeared to be a typical Halloween. I also ended by acknowledging the family who helped mine. Only by acknowledging the good neighbors, could I put this story to rest.

    Thank you, Lovinia, for your generous, six star review and supportive words.
reply by Lovinia on 09-Aug-2016
    Hi Andre

    I can well understand your feeling the lack of language, the tools and the comprehension of such events of significance in your life. I often feel that when I go to write on sensitive issues in my life ... in fact I still think I lack the clarity of language and comprehension to define some of these events correctly. Perhaps I'm also not as forgiving as you. It would be hard for me not to feel such rage at some of what you and your parents had to deal with. I understand leaving the fire as something to be worked up to. Your opening lines about Halloween still provide an excellent draw for the audience/readers. I think your conclusion works so well ... an acceptance of the bad and then an acknowledgement of the good. I am pleased this one is put to rest for you ... forty years is a long time to suffer such confusion and pain. You earned the stars ... I always enjoy your work so much and the insight you show. Keep up those performances ... your legacy to leave behind. :) Hugs - Lovi xoxo
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The saddest part of this whole sad tale is that the parents of these misguided children taught them to hate someone based solely on the color of their skin. Without the swift actions of your concerned neighbor, someone may have been injured or killed. I don't know if you believe in God or not, I do and I know that there are serious consequences for acts of hatred against anyone for any reason.

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
    Yes, this is devastatingly sad. Those children had to learn that hatred from their parents. I believe in God and "that there are serious consequences for acts of hatred against anyone for any reason." Thank you for your review.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, this a story and a half and a very poignant one. How difficult it must have been as child to comprehend that somebody could hate you so much that they would go to any length in order to harm you. And they didn't know you although you were almost neighbours. It's difficult to understand even being a grown up. How ignorant and blind some people are. It's a sad fact. All the best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
    Yes, it took me over forty years to comprehend the horror that happened to my family and also to acknowledge what the good neighbors did for my family. Thank you, Ulla, for your review and for wishing me the best.