What the Heart Wants
Story20 total reviews
Comment from Scarbrems
I'd probably call it a 'muse'. Whatever you call it, it's a powerful bit of poetical prose. 'Poetrose', maybe? As I've said to you before, your poetickiness shines through your prose.
Whilst the device of using trees/climbing trees as a life metaphor is not new, you bring an originality to the concept. Love the last line.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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I'd probably call it a 'muse'. Whatever you call it, it's a powerful bit of poetical prose. 'Poetrose', maybe? As I've said to you before, your poetickiness shines through your prose.
Whilst the device of using trees/climbing trees as a life metaphor is not new, you bring an originality to the concept. Love the last line.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Poetrose. That's rather cool, I like it. It's funny you mention poetickiness, I wrote one a day or two ago and I had the hardest time NOT rhyming the thing. Ha! I swear I had to force myself into prose mode. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this. I love writing like this more than anything. Thanks a million, mikey
Comment from lindafisher
This reminds me of The Fool On The Hill. By the Beatles. When the young do things they are adventurous. Us silly old fools just get sillier. Never give up climbing trees. Best regards Linda.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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This reminds me of The Fool On The Hill. By the Beatles. When the young do things they are adventurous. Us silly old fools just get sillier. Never give up climbing trees. Best regards Linda.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Wow. That makes my day. Any Beatle reference is most appreciated. :))
I'm still climbing. No broken bones so far. Ha!
Thanks, Linda
mikey
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Mikey.
another great read that is so thought provoking, a real look inside the inner self and finding the same desires and dreams of yesterday. I don't know if interpret your writing correctly but either way they are very compelling.
Brenda
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Hi Mikey.
another great read that is so thought provoking, a real look inside the inner self and finding the same desires and dreams of yesterday. I don't know if interpret your writing correctly but either way they are very compelling.
Brenda
Comment Written 28-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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You have it exactly on the money, Brenda. You almost always do, don't underestimate yourself. Your very perceptive. Thanks so much. I'm very pleased you liked this, it's what I truly enjoy as far as writing. Thanks so much. mikey
Comment from rama devi
I LOVE THIS, Mikey. I think it's a great vignette with a moral. It's inspired and delivers a deep POV with raw and real authenticity that resonates. Love the metaphor.
Some lines truly stand out, like:
I see the stars and claim them.
And I love this too:
My heart aches and it fulfills me somehow. I hoped ... well, I hoped. But the stars still look beautiful from up here. I whisper secrets to them and they sparkle with their response.
* I'm a fool(,) it seems.
This would make a super powerful closing line:
They don't even notice the stars anymore. I share secrets with them.
so I suggest deleting the one that comes after it.
Highly original and inspirational too.
May you reach the top of your INNER tree!
Bravo
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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I LOVE THIS, Mikey. I think it's a great vignette with a moral. It's inspired and delivers a deep POV with raw and real authenticity that resonates. Love the metaphor.
Some lines truly stand out, like:
I see the stars and claim them.
And I love this too:
My heart aches and it fulfills me somehow. I hoped ... well, I hoped. But the stars still look beautiful from up here. I whisper secrets to them and they sparkle with their response.
* I'm a fool(,) it seems.
This would make a super powerful closing line:
They don't even notice the stars anymore. I share secrets with them.
so I suggest deleting the one that comes after it.
Highly original and inspirational too.
May you reach the top of your INNER tree!
Bravo
Love,
rd
Comment Written 28-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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I'm just thrilled with your review. I'm so pleased you understood it fully, it just makes my week. You are so right about that last line. It's like suddenly some dummy chimed in. Ha! I removed it as you suggested, night and day. Perfect suggestion. Thank you. Big smiles. mikey
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Yay! Making your week makes mine! :)
So glad you liked the suggestion, dear friend.
Big smiles, rd
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Mikey
= A might oak one day ... a sapling the next day!
= It's amazing what we used to do ... taking it for granted.
= But, now have to stop and run our brain ... can we really?
= So, I sit in my chair ... ponder and write ... leave the damn oak tree for another bloody day! LOL.
= Good story.
* Cheers & Blessings *
Keep Smilin'... Jackie <> Jax (*>*)
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Hi, Mikey
= A might oak one day ... a sapling the next day!
= It's amazing what we used to do ... taking it for granted.
= But, now have to stop and run our brain ... can we really?
= So, I sit in my chair ... ponder and write ... leave the damn oak tree for another bloody day! LOL.
= Good story.
* Cheers & Blessings *
Keep Smilin'... Jackie <> Jax (*>*)
Comment Written 28-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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I still climb. It is certain to be the death of me. HAHAHA! Thanks a million. Chair, ponder, write ... yeah, that makes more sense. Blessings, mikey
Comment from nordicgirl
This is quite beautiful, Michael. It`s very you in style and I see why you have trouble tacking a name on it. I.have a feeling I get this. Of course you never yell anybody anything, even me. But then again, I do know you, Blade. Well, in any case, super piece. Very touching. NG
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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This is quite beautiful, Michael. It`s very you in style and I see why you have trouble tacking a name on it. I.have a feeling I get this. Of course you never yell anybody anything, even me. But then again, I do know you, Blade. Well, in any case, super piece. Very touching. NG
Comment Written 28-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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You know nothing. I've told you nothing. HAHAHA. Who died and made you perceptive. I'm a mystery man in a black cowboy hat. Be careful calling on Blade, he's a bad dude and I can't be responsible for him. :))
Thanks so much. I can tell you do get this. I appreciate that quite a bit. I need someone too. Blade
Comment from I am Cat
well, metaphorically speaking... it's a gem. just like you.
and I loved it.
at our former home, we had built an covered deck... you could access the rooftop of that overhang from either the upstairs bathroom window, or one of the upstairs bedrooms... we would crawl out there at night, watch the fireworks, or sun out there during the day when the kids were pre-teens... I'd find one of them out there, writing, reading, drawing...
just like I used to do in trees...
and it made me happy.
some days, and nights, I admit... I would crawl out... take a few hidden hits off a joint... (yeah, so? I was the PTA President... i needed it. ;) or just sit there and watch the moon, during the day... write.
yeah... closer to the stars...
after moving to the country, I've realized... wow, there are a lot more of them up there than I thought! LOL the city is brighter, you can't see them.
It's BLACK out here... very. the stars are closer? I don't know... but wow, I wish I had that rooftop. ;)
well written, and your heart shows through... call it what you want...
it's you.
awesome
cat
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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well, metaphorically speaking... it's a gem. just like you.
and I loved it.
at our former home, we had built an covered deck... you could access the rooftop of that overhang from either the upstairs bathroom window, or one of the upstairs bedrooms... we would crawl out there at night, watch the fireworks, or sun out there during the day when the kids were pre-teens... I'd find one of them out there, writing, reading, drawing...
just like I used to do in trees...
and it made me happy.
some days, and nights, I admit... I would crawl out... take a few hidden hits off a joint... (yeah, so? I was the PTA President... i needed it. ;) or just sit there and watch the moon, during the day... write.
yeah... closer to the stars...
after moving to the country, I've realized... wow, there are a lot more of them up there than I thought! LOL the city is brighter, you can't see them.
It's BLACK out here... very. the stars are closer? I don't know... but wow, I wish I had that rooftop. ;)
well written, and your heart shows through... call it what you want...
it's you.
awesome
cat
Comment Written 28-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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I'm a shining cubic zirconium. Very shiny. Was it the Harper Valley PTA? If I was you, I'd be writing out the lyrics here, yes? You'd think I'd get an awesome starscape in the desert, but nope. It sucks. The best I ever saw was when I worked on some mission in Mexico when I was a teenager. Amazing.
Glad you liked this, very much my style and what I like to write. Thanks so much. :)) mikey
Comment from Pyrrho
Life is just a bowl of cherries but I like them better on the tree. How many folks have climbed a cherry tree and to sit on a branch, eating cherries? I did, we had one in our driveway in (believe it or not) Brooklyn New York.
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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Life is just a bowl of cherries but I like them better on the tree. How many folks have climbed a cherry tree and to sit on a branch, eating cherries? I did, we had one in our driveway in (believe it or not) Brooklyn New York.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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That would be awesome. Yeah, I'd be up for that. We had a cork tree in our front yard. Cool tree, actually made out of cork.
Comment from Jay Squires
I think I'd call this a memoir. You can take some license with the truth to grasp and reveal another, greater truth. Whatever you were striving for your metaphors were crisp and evocative. It's a beautiful prose-poem.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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I think I'd call this a memoir. You can take some license with the truth to grasp and reveal another, greater truth. Whatever you were striving for your metaphors were crisp and evocative. It's a beautiful prose-poem.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Oh, I see. Yeah, that makes some sense then when I think of the peculiar description in that site contest they always run. Cool. Awesome. So pleased you enjoyed. I'm smiling from ear to ear. Thanks a million, mikey
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Mikey,
You really are examining yourself at great lengths these days, but we get the enjoyment out of it. This is well written with a warm flow to it. Very poetic prose.
Deciphering the metaphor, however, is a different matter. I read this about perseverance and hope, in the face of adversity. I don't think the specific matters, as the theme at play is the most important. In this piece we see pain, effort, and achievement. It may not always have the desired outcome but sometimes things are just as good, or better, as a result of that effort.
Good piece which should have people scratching their heads, in wonderment, not puzzlement.
All the best
G
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Hi Mikey,
You really are examining yourself at great lengths these days, but we get the enjoyment out of it. This is well written with a warm flow to it. Very poetic prose.
Deciphering the metaphor, however, is a different matter. I read this about perseverance and hope, in the face of adversity. I don't think the specific matters, as the theme at play is the most important. In this piece we see pain, effort, and achievement. It may not always have the desired outcome but sometimes things are just as good, or better, as a result of that effort.
Good piece which should have people scratching their heads, in wonderment, not puzzlement.
All the best
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016
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Great interpretation and well within what I was thinking. The goal or dream is whatever it is the heart tells you to go for. So, it could be different for each individual. I had something specific in mind, but it could be something totally different for somebody else, at least I hope so. Thanks a million. I'm pleased this style appeals to you. It's very me. :)) mikey