Family Fugue
3 line poem Contest entry18 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Yes, a tiny word change would make a total difference in the message of your poem. Your "maze" metaphor and reference to disfunctional families is quite compelling. Best wishes in the contest with this thought-provoking entry. More cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2016
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Yes, a tiny word change would make a total difference in the message of your poem. Your "maze" metaphor and reference to disfunctional families is quite compelling. Best wishes in the contest with this thought-provoking entry. More cheers- Joan
Comment Written 22-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2016
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Thanks for your wonderfully encouraging review. I do hope you will return for my next posting later today- a short editorial entitled, "What's Wrong With This Picture" that actually mentions this poem. All best wishes, Dawn :)
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Yes, it makes a great deal of difference. You are looking for understanding in this one, using 'for' means you haven't found it yet. I think it's a great little poem, Dawn, very clever and the words well used. Good luck my friend! :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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Yes, it makes a great deal of difference. You are looking for understanding in this one, using 'for' means you haven't found it yet. I think it's a great little poem, Dawn, very clever and the words well used. Good luck my friend! :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 22-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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Thank you so much, Sandra! Big hugs!
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Dawn,
I get this with the preposition you have used. Sorting through the memories to try to come an understanding. One simple word can have a massive impact.
Good piece.
G
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2016
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Hi Dawn,
I get this with the preposition you have used. Sorting through the memories to try to come an understanding. One simple word can have a massive impact.
Good piece.
G
Comment Written 22-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2016
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Thanks for your wonderfully encouraging review. I do hope you will return for my next posting later today- a short editorial entitled, "What's Wrong With This Picture" that actually mentions this poem. All best wishes, Dawn :)
Comment from Joy Graham
What are they doing in that picture? Either french kissing or examining the kids teeth lol!
You confuse me with the title, Family Fugue. In my senior level of piano music I had to play fugues. Seems like you aren't talking about piano music here.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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What are they doing in that picture? Either french kissing or examining the kids teeth lol!
You confuse me with the title, Family Fugue. In my senior level of piano music I had to play fugues. Seems like you aren't talking about piano music here.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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No, my comedienne friend, fugue has more than one definition. (It's also a state of mental confusion. LOL. Did you use that word intentionally?) Or is this meant to be a passive/aggressive put-down? Yeah, they are French,-kissing. We did that in my family----NOT. But I do remember having my brother try to convince me to tie my loose tooth to a door knob...)
Thank you for reviewing, Joy.
Comment from foxangie123
Another down right amazing piece of poetry you have written here. It was a fun read and a great picture. I so like how you bring the past to present. Amazing.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2016
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Another down right amazing piece of poetry you have written here. It was a fun read and a great picture. I so like how you bring the past to present. Amazing.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2016
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Thanks for your great review. I do hope you will return for my next posting later today- a short editorial entitled, "What's Wrong With This Picture" that actually mentions this poem.
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Will you remind me when it's up please.
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Glad to - there should be an announcement.
Comment from royowen
I think we sometimes have lost those precious plans and aspirations, dreams and visions for a bright new world, beautifully written and gently proposed, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2016
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I think we sometimes have lost those precious plans and aspirations, dreams and visions for a bright new world, beautifully written and gently proposed, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 22-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2016
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Thanks for your wonderfully encouraging review. I do hope you will return for my next posting later today- a short editorial entitled, "What's Wrong With This Picture" that actually mentions this poem. All best wishes, Dawn :)
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Most welcome
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A great three line poem. Going down memory lane thinking about times of a life that is part of history. Good luck with the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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A great three line poem. Going down memory lane thinking about times of a life that is part of history. Good luck with the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2016
Comment from krys123
Cheers Dawn;
- when I read your writing I found it to be a tricky one for me to either say the will preposition (of) or (for) right before the word understanding. Because each one has a different association with the word understanding and the concept of your writing.
-I feel the picture was very appropriate and relative to the concept and theme of your poem and plus I liked it very much.
-and the idea of your writing establishes a great connection between the stumbling blindly associated with the maze of yesteryears. This juxtaposition of association is quite a great tool in writing and you establish this very well.
- I could see myself stumbling and going back to my yesteryears to find answers for my present time that I live in and whether or not they would be helpful.
- good luck in the contest and thank you for entertaining me and making me think a little bit and may the good Lord be with you always Dawn.
Alex
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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Cheers Dawn;
- when I read your writing I found it to be a tricky one for me to either say the will preposition (of) or (for) right before the word understanding. Because each one has a different association with the word understanding and the concept of your writing.
-I feel the picture was very appropriate and relative to the concept and theme of your poem and plus I liked it very much.
-and the idea of your writing establishes a great connection between the stumbling blindly associated with the maze of yesteryears. This juxtaposition of association is quite a great tool in writing and you establish this very well.
- I could see myself stumbling and going back to my yesteryears to find answers for my present time that I live in and whether or not they would be helpful.
- good luck in the contest and thank you for entertaining me and making me think a little bit and may the good Lord be with you always Dawn.
Alex
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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Hi, Alex - the two prepositions are worlds apart in this context. It is a journey of self-discovery, and perhaps hope of being more understood (remember the title) - "OF understanding" would mean that there WAS no "Family Fugue", and it would negate the use of "maze", which is symbolic of the confusion, of the memory loss, of all kinds of emotional conflict...(in other words, MOST family dynamics - LOL)
It's hard to believe the power of words sometimes, yes? That a tiny little word could make such a huge change to the meaning...
Thank you for reviewing, and God be with you too.
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thanks for helping me be so observant of that one little word that could make so much a big difference. And you totally made great sense out of it and I thank you for that. And plus you are so very welcome my friend.
Alex
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You're welcome - thank you for caring enough to ask. I actually added pretty much what I said to you to my notes in case anyone else wondered the same thing. :)