Take These Broken Wings
free verse18 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Damn!
You nailed a real tear jerker, dear friend.
An absolutely wonderful free verse full of passion and emotion.
A story of survival and...you are right...a must read.
If you ever...ever...doubt anything in your life, reread what you just wrote.
I love you.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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Damn!
You nailed a real tear jerker, dear friend.
An absolutely wonderful free verse full of passion and emotion.
A story of survival and...you are right...a must read.
If you ever...ever...doubt anything in your life, reread what you just wrote.
I love you.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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How lovely to hear the words you wrote. If I ever doubt anything in life I will read your words to me. Yes, the inspiration for this is an astonishing piece of work, I imagine I had to come up with something pretty good. Love you back, mike
Comment from Dr. Nad
As I see it, your poem is an allegory on life. There are those who are born with the advantages of life and others are born without them. There are those who believe in the cast system and don't want to see anyone rise above their birth status. You see some who were born without the assets that would propel them into the stratosphere, but their spirit generates a desire to rise in spite of the confines of the system, and soar they do. Job well done. May God Bless you.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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As I see it, your poem is an allegory on life. There are those who are born with the advantages of life and others are born without them. There are those who believe in the cast system and don't want to see anyone rise above their birth status. You see some who were born without the assets that would propel them into the stratosphere, but their spirit generates a desire to rise in spite of the confines of the system, and soar they do. Job well done. May God Bless you.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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Your analysis is perfection. I'm tempted to purloin it for my notes. So very well put and it tells me you understood completely. I couldn't ask for more. Thanks a million. mike
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You are Welcome, Embrace the Love from Above! Purloin Away LOL
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Mikey,
Wow what powerful thoughts. A wonderful interpretation on the many paths we chose to take from birth into adult hood. Some of us are encouraged and nurtured while others are held back and ridiculed for daring to dream and hope.
How very true your words are.
Fantastic read.
Brenda
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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Hi Mikey,
Wow what powerful thoughts. A wonderful interpretation on the many paths we chose to take from birth into adult hood. Some of us are encouraged and nurtured while others are held back and ridiculed for daring to dream and hope.
How very true your words are.
Fantastic read.
Brenda
Comment Written 07-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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I'm pleased you enjoyed this, Brenda. I think as artists we can relate, yes? Thank you so much for these wonderful words of encouragement. mike
Comment from dmt1967
This is freestyle and from what I read, it is supposed to sound like this. It sounded like a runaway train. This is not the way you write it, though lol. I am not a freestyle fan I think because I don't understand it. Thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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This is freestyle and from what I read, it is supposed to sound like this. It sounded like a runaway train. This is not the way you write it, though lol. I am not a freestyle fan I think because I don't understand it. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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It's all just words. Think of a story with some of the words and punctuation missing or a poem that isn't written exactly in order. That made no sense, did it? HAHAHA. Thanks for reading and taking the time. mikey
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Mikey,
Damn you! I read the title of this last night and now I have that infernal song 'Broken Wings' by Mr Mister in my head - it is driving me insane!
Bloody Hell, man. you did it again. I feel like I've been through an emotional wringer. Seriously. Your output at the moment is tremendous - not quantity, quality.
My interpretation?
The birth of the poem in the first three verses are well writ. The relationship that strives to last beyond the physical bond. Something we keep searching for ... sometimes again and again. A strength given through nurture and love.
The change in perspective in the fifth verse marks the sharp contrast in that birthing experience. A strength born of resilience and struggle, and taken rather than freely delivered.
The later half of the poem defines that struggle. The wondering and the longing The fairy tale for them, but the reality of others. Ridiculed and mocked by those who seek to hold them down and clip their wings.
In the later sections it also seems to talk of breaking free and soaring, and appreciating where some who had the gifts squandered it and gave in to base temptations.
In the end the hope rises on the breeze, breaks the mould, makes the change and sows a seed. (I mixed my metaphors a lot there didn't I?)
Superb
G
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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Hi Mikey,
Damn you! I read the title of this last night and now I have that infernal song 'Broken Wings' by Mr Mister in my head - it is driving me insane!
Bloody Hell, man. you did it again. I feel like I've been through an emotional wringer. Seriously. Your output at the moment is tremendous - not quantity, quality.
My interpretation?
The birth of the poem in the first three verses are well writ. The relationship that strives to last beyond the physical bond. Something we keep searching for ... sometimes again and again. A strength given through nurture and love.
The change in perspective in the fifth verse marks the sharp contrast in that birthing experience. A strength born of resilience and struggle, and taken rather than freely delivered.
The later half of the poem defines that struggle. The wondering and the longing The fairy tale for them, but the reality of others. Ridiculed and mocked by those who seek to hold them down and clip their wings.
In the later sections it also seems to talk of breaking free and soaring, and appreciating where some who had the gifts squandered it and gave in to base temptations.
In the end the hope rises on the breeze, breaks the mould, makes the change and sows a seed. (I mixed my metaphors a lot there didn't I?)
Superb
G
Comment Written 07-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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I'm so delighted that you understood every single word of this and every meaning I wanted to portray. It's the best feeling in the world to be understood. I was reluctant to post something this long for fear it wouldn't be understood AND it was long. Thanks a million. This makes my week. mike
Comment from Jay Squires
fragile, so fragile is inspiration, and powerful, so powerful is the uninspired world who cannot fly, who knows the laws of gravity, and protects by denying possibility.
This is a winner, my friend. Well, it would have been. I thought it was the free verse entry.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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fragile, so fragile is inspiration, and powerful, so powerful is the uninspired world who cannot fly, who knows the laws of gravity, and protects by denying possibility.
This is a winner, my friend. Well, it would have been. I thought it was the free verse entry.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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Is there a contest? Oh well. I'm just thrilled you enjoyed it and the meaning was clear to you. This is one of those writes that meant a lot to me so I was hoping it would be understood. So, it's a winner for sure in my book. Thanks a million. mike
Comment from Liberty Justice
YOU got my vote just now that put this POEM in a tie for 1st place with 3 votes.
I wrote how I love your title and theme. GOOD LUCK dear poet. Lofty poem about how some people live out their dreams while others get caught up in disruptive things keeping them from flying high. Well done! liberty justice
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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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YOU got my vote just now that put this POEM in a tie for 1st place with 3 votes.
I wrote how I love your title and theme. GOOD LUCK dear poet. Lofty poem about how some people live out their dreams while others get caught up in disruptive things keeping them from flying high. Well done! liberty justice
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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Thanks so much. That's my meaning exactly. I love your interpretation, it's perfection. mike
Comment from Gloria ....
Blackbird singing in the dead of night ... and you know the rest because like me, you're a musician.
Striking imagery throughout. We are taken through a trip into the sky and beyond time and care and all those things that anchor us to the ground and the negative expectations of others.
With wings we can fly and we can dream and it is real.
Excellent use of poetic devices throughout, internal rhymes, most effective repetitions to drive home the intentions.
one suggestion:
mothers and fathers
sister (s) and brothers
rather than gathering a single shell perhaps shells OR finding a shell.
I love the sand dollar filled with riches.
Wings don't have to be made of gossamer to fly to new heights.
A beautiful poem, Mikey. You know how to write free verse exceptionally well. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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Blackbird singing in the dead of night ... and you know the rest because like me, you're a musician.
Striking imagery throughout. We are taken through a trip into the sky and beyond time and care and all those things that anchor us to the ground and the negative expectations of others.
With wings we can fly and we can dream and it is real.
Excellent use of poetic devices throughout, internal rhymes, most effective repetitions to drive home the intentions.
one suggestion:
mothers and fathers
sister (s) and brothers
rather than gathering a single shell perhaps shells OR finding a shell.
I love the sand dollar filled with riches.
Wings don't have to be made of gossamer to fly to new heights.
A beautiful poem, Mikey. You know how to write free verse exceptionally well. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 07-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2016
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I fixed those little things, thanks for catching them.
I'm thrilled that you liked this, especially you. The experience of reading your beautiful moving poem left me having to write something and this was it. Thank you for your inspiration and thank you for your enouragement. mike