To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 61 "Bottle Cap"Free Verse Poetry
30 total reviews
Comment from krys123
Mikey;
-I truly love this writing as you put me on a journey like going around in a jumpy circle like trying to walk the ridges of a bottlecap.
-Your imagery was exquisitely expressive in so many ways and vividly and demonstratively descriptive they gave movement and a speciality to magnify all the possibilities of imagery.
-Uses overlying where needed and also alliteration when used your writing's them had great cadence, tempo and timing to the reading.
-The inadvertently subject of the bottlecap brought into perspective the story surrounding it and why it was left not on the bottle. A great way of telling a story.
-I enjoyed it completely and as a writer I feel Your writing is not only entertaining but very amusingly fun and great to read.
-Good luck in this contest Mikey and made a good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
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Mikey;
-I truly love this writing as you put me on a journey like going around in a jumpy circle like trying to walk the ridges of a bottlecap.
-Your imagery was exquisitely expressive in so many ways and vividly and demonstratively descriptive they gave movement and a speciality to magnify all the possibilities of imagery.
-Uses overlying where needed and also alliteration when used your writing's them had great cadence, tempo and timing to the reading.
-The inadvertently subject of the bottlecap brought into perspective the story surrounding it and why it was left not on the bottle. A great way of telling a story.
-I enjoyed it completely and as a writer I feel Your writing is not only entertaining but very amusingly fun and great to read.
-Good luck in this contest Mikey and made a good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
Comment from Nosha17
I guess that elusive bottle cap that hides under the sofa is trying to make a name for himself. Good descriptions and scenarios where he turns up and makes himself more memorable. Well written about a non-descript subject. Good luck in the contest. Faye
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I guess that elusive bottle cap that hides under the sofa is trying to make a name for himself. Good descriptions and scenarios where he turns up and makes himself more memorable. Well written about a non-descript subject. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
Comment from Sasha
This is a fun, delightful and well written entry for this contest. I doubt anyone would question your right to call yourself a poet...I certainly see you as a very good one. Excellent entry with a fun and unique subject, doubt many, if any, would have thought of a bottle cap. This is well written with excellent internal rhyme. I actually got a kick out of this and wish you all the best in the contest too.
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This is a fun, delightful and well written entry for this contest. I doubt anyone would question your right to call yourself a poet...I certainly see you as a very good one. Excellent entry with a fun and unique subject, doubt many, if any, would have thought of a bottle cap. This is well written with excellent internal rhyme. I actually got a kick out of this and wish you all the best in the contest too.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
Comment from Ben Colder
One bad hangover it seems. Hard liquor is raging and wine, a mocker and whoever is deceived, is not wise. Although many returns to fight another day. Pop another top again, Good poem, Mike. I find no mistakes.
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One bad hangover it seems. Hard liquor is raging and wine, a mocker and whoever is deceived, is not wise. Although many returns to fight another day. Pop another top again, Good poem, Mike. I find no mistakes.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
Comment from artemis53
Yep. That's about how it goes. The cap comes off and you might as well put up the international sign of surrender. Love the simplicity of a bottle cap that is the portal into such complex behaviors (at least that you remember).
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Yep. That's about how it goes. The cap comes off and you might as well put up the international sign of surrender. Love the simplicity of a bottle cap that is the portal into such complex behaviors (at least that you remember).
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
Comment from evilynne
I think you are really truly a poet. This is a thought provoking tale of man's struggle with a bottled foe, represented by the bottle cap. Am I close? Anyway, your poem is well written and deserves six stars, which I don't have right now. Evi
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I think you are really truly a poet. This is a thought provoking tale of man's struggle with a bottled foe, represented by the bottle cap. Am I close? Anyway, your poem is well written and deserves six stars, which I don't have right now. Evi
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
Comment from Dean Kuch
Loved the presentation, Mikey. The blazing scarlet font against a stark, ebony background was most effective.
I've never seen Peppermint Schnapps with a twist-off bottle cap--at least not the ridged variety like the ones used on Heineken bottles, (why must the Germans keep ignoring the golden grammatical rule, " "I" before "E" except after "C"?) Lol. Are you sure it wasn't Ripple? Given the context, when being in a drunken stupor, it may be difficult to remember for certain.
"...well, that is just
a memory unremembered
that she told me
most unkindly
wasn't my finest hour
my friend, this bottle cap
you did me no favors it seems"
Good stuff, and good luck in the booth!
~Dean :}
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Loved the presentation, Mikey. The blazing scarlet font against a stark, ebony background was most effective.
I've never seen Peppermint Schnapps with a twist-off bottle cap--at least not the ridged variety like the ones used on Heineken bottles, (why must the Germans keep ignoring the golden grammatical rule, " "I" before "E" except after "C"?) Lol. Are you sure it wasn't Ripple? Given the context, when being in a drunken stupor, it may be difficult to remember for certain.
"...well, that is just
a memory unremembered
that she told me
most unkindly
wasn't my finest hour
my friend, this bottle cap
you did me no favors it seems"
Good stuff, and good luck in the booth!
~Dean :}
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
Comment from Linda Engel
AH, the mysteries of the drunken brawl. We drink and argue with our self only to loose. The mementos found around the house to remind us of happened if only we could remember. When this happened , in my younger days, I usually got telephoneitis and called all the wrong people I should have left alone.
The morning prayer would come with the sunlight. "God, please let me sober up and I'll never do this again." right.
Good luck in the contest.
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AH, the mysteries of the drunken brawl. We drink and argue with our self only to loose. The mementos found around the house to remind us of happened if only we could remember. When this happened , in my younger days, I usually got telephoneitis and called all the wrong people I should have left alone.
The morning prayer would come with the sunlight. "God, please let me sober up and I'll never do this again." right.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
Comment from nordicgirl
This is spectacular. Wow!
You always include plenty of poeric devices, but you do not overload the piece to where they distract. Just enough to give flow and style.
The focus is on the content whi h you make the trader FEEL!!!
Meets the challenge beautifully.
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This is spectacular. Wow!
You always include plenty of poeric devices, but you do not overload the piece to where they distract. Just enough to give flow and style.
The focus is on the content whi h you make the trader FEEL!!!
Meets the challenge beautifully.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
Comment from livelylinda
michaelcahill: sounds like a lonely night was had by all . . . I'm not sure I understand the contest objective but this certainly seems like a poem written by an excellent poet. Good luck with the contest. Linda
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michaelcahill: sounds like a lonely night was had by all . . . I'm not sure I understand the contest objective but this certainly seems like a poem written by an excellent poet. Good luck with the contest. Linda
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015