Comment from Linda Kay

Excellent

Good poem that bluntly tells the story (much easier to understand in this format). I am a fan of the tongue-in-cheek tone.

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2015

Thank you, Linda, for your very kind words, and for taking the time to check out my poem. Very much appreciated - Craig :-)

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Hi - this is extremely well written, good rhyme and a very good read. I had forgotten this story, I rarely pick up the bible, and it is good to be reminded. I like the manner in which it is written, the tone. Read your author notes and I take your word that you haven't substantially changed any of the details LOL - whatever, you have made it very interesting. If I had a 6 you would have it. By Friday I'm nearly always out of 6's - Good Luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2015

Thanks so much for checking out my poem, Dorothy, and for your very kind comments. Thanks too for your good wishes, much appreciated! Craig

Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

This is certainly the story of Lot, told in a most imaginative fashion. You have the knack for just telling it like it is, poetically or not. I really think this a very original entry for this contest and truly hope that it captures the attention of the audience and gets some votes! Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2015

Thank you Dovey for your kind and encouraging words. Craig.

Comment from Wabigoon

Excellent

CD--
I have some major problems with the supposed moral of this story, the lessons it is supposed to instill. However, that's not really the point, rather how you deal with the story and that I mostly like. You treat a very heavy duty story with a light touch and that is hard. I congratulate you for that.

One thought: Lot's wife turned to a pillar of salt. Salt, source of the word "salary" in today's world, seems to me to yes, represent someone of value to us in today's world. Salt was, back in those days, the "currency" of the time, the realm, so it seems to me entirely possible there is some kind of complex connection between her turning to look back at something forbidden and our daily salary or wage.

Fun to consider, anyway.

Thanks for effort.
Wabigoon/Jeff

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015

I'm trying to make the connection - so, if we go back to our old ways, we will be rewarded? I could go with that! To be honest, I have a couple of issues with the story as well, but it's sure one that sticks in the mind. Thanks, Jeff, for your kind review. Craig

reply by Wabigoon on 18-Jun-2015

Craig--
My own take is something like there is something so powerful in what Lot's wife saw that we will be paid NOT to see it in perpetuity. In other words I tend to sympathize where her desire to look back.

You're the third Aussie I am communicating with here -- which I must say is fun -- where abouts are you located?

Jeff

reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015

I'm near Bathurst, in NSW - about 3 hours from Sydney. There are more of us? Heaven help FS lol :)

reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015

Actually, I have already come across "feral" - he has some great stories to tell.

reply by Wabigoon on 18-Jun-2015

Craig
Walbc is from Brisbane. She is a...ferocious poet, person. She has lived a life that is wonderful and terrible. I heartily recommend checking her out and if you do tell her I sent you.

Thanks
Jeff

reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015

Oh yes - walbc - I'm already a fan. We haven't spoken, I just read a couple of things and decided I needed to read more. Nice talking to you Jeff. I'm sure our paths will cross many times here :) Craig

reply by Wabigoon on 18-Jun-2015

Craig--
Walbc is a lovely person, sympathetic to a fault, maybe too much so. I cannot say too much in her favor.

Jeff

reply by Anonymous Member on 18-Jun-2015

Craig--
Walbc is a lovely person, sympathetic to a fault, maybe too much so. I cannot say too much in her favor.

Jeff

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Hello author well what an interesting rhyming poem from the bible story about Lot.

The last couple of stanzas I did not know about!!

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015

Hi Gert - yes, for some reason that part often seems to get left out. Thanks for stopping by to review my poem :-) Craig.

reply by Gert sherwood on 19-Jun-2015

You are welcome Craig

Comment from boxergirl

Excellent

First let me say welcome to FS. You did a great job with your Bible story poem. The rhyme and rhythm make it flow smoothly. Good luck in the contest. 8-)

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015

Thank you Boxergirl, for checking out my poem, and for your kind words. Thanks also for the warm welcome and good wishes for the contest. Craig.

Comment from bayforesthimankush

Excellent

Yes, this is true. All the religious books and religious persons tell the stories to make the senses and mind of the people straight; the idea is to guide them to follow the path of right and not the wrong. Stories and pictures are better ways to make a point and to illustrate an idea; this is understood easily and remains in the memory.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015

Thank you for taking the time to read and review my story. I think you're correct - this story has remained in my head since the first time I heard it, and that was a VERY long time ago.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

Very well done with setting this in poetic form.
There is a good flow to it and interesting word choices.

Nicely penned. Impressive stuff.
GMG

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015

Hi giraffmang - Thanks for checking out my poem, and thank you for the kind comments. All the best, Craig.

Comment from lalajovanoski

Excellent

! You are such an amazing writer!!! I truly enjoyed reading this as you are so very talented! Thank you so very much for sharing this as I truly enjoyed reading

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015

Thank you so much for your very kind comment. Craig.