Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi Mikey, this is a real shame, this easily stands out among others I have reviewed, it is beautifully structured with excellent use of enjambment and a very faint eroticism in it's wonderful words.
I would have voted for it!

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2015

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

wow nicely done and with the ones I read would have been a great piece for the contest.
Loved the words and how you started out as she was the best then to imply the next step in your betrayal.
Nicely done

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2015

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Mike...

Too bad you missed the deadline.

I really enjoyed this piece. You couldn't have picked a better piece of artwork. The temptress is perfectly matched your words.

Excellent work, and a real treat to read.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)


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 Comment Written 27-Apr-2015

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Mikey;
+ I am probably with used instead to say I'm sorry that you missed the contest For this is a really excellent piece of writing that smoothly relates eroticism with a pensive and gentle exotic enhanced feelings of joy.
+ Good use of enjambment which is the running on of a thought and concepts from one stanza anSuch an erotic arrayd line to the next without a syntactical break.
+ Verb and excellent imagery that is so definitively expressive and vividly and demonstratively descriptive throughout your writing but especially here and some of the lines that I truly loved: "yet I probably couldn't miss the ascent up your tension woefully bold thigh you stretch your arms slowly skyward I climbed them with my eyes imagining your fingers with the privileges they enjoy.". This is a very vivid imagination that is truly inventive and ingeniously creative And yet it is most pensively written in such an erotic way.
+ Because of the cadence(the flow or rhythm of events, especially the pattern in which something is experience In this rhythmic pattern is nomnetrically structured)
Along with this cadence is a timing and movement in your poem that structurally makes it easy, fluid and clear to read your poem.
+ With the use of discriminative metaphor and highly suggestible imagery you created a man very exotic piece of poetry.
+ Near and notable alliteration's:/"coo caroo caroo it crackles cruelly"/"eager ear"/
+ Thank you for sharing and posting this Mikey and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex

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 Comment Written 27-Apr-2015