Intrusion
A Nightmare Come True31 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
I know you are limited to 100 words, but I would have liked to know who the intruder was. That aside, I think you did a great job with this and I sincerely wish you all the best in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
I know you are limited to 100 words, but I would have liked to know who the intruder was. That aside, I think you did a great job with this and I sincerely wish you all the best in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much. If I had had more than a 100 words you would have known. I may expand on the story one day.
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I do hope you do. You really got my curiosity going with this one.
Comment from livelylinda
Author: I wrote a story in 100 words before and I know it is not easy. This one is even trickier because there is no conclusion! I felt like I fell off a cliff and kept looking for more story . . . LOL. What if he stabbed a friend, a child, someone meaningful to him, a good gal or guy who was just surprising him? The story does not note that he has been having nightmares or he feels that someone is out to get him due to a threat or plain paranoia. Therefore, this story is not believable because normally a person would need to verify who was the intruder before he stabbed she/he with sissors.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
Author: I wrote a story in 100 words before and I know it is not easy. This one is even trickier because there is no conclusion! I felt like I fell off a cliff and kept looking for more story . . . LOL. What if he stabbed a friend, a child, someone meaningful to him, a good gal or guy who was just surprising him? The story does not note that he has been having nightmares or he feels that someone is out to get him due to a threat or plain paranoia. Therefore, this story is not believable because normally a person would need to verify who was the intruder before he stabbed she/he with sissors.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
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Thanks a lot for your review and comments.
Comment from Tatarka2
Wow. This was horrifying, all right. You have told a complete story in just a few words, a daunting task indeed. I wish you the best of luck in this contest, and I admire you for attempting this challenge, and doing it so well.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
Wow. This was horrifying, all right. You have told a complete story in just a few words, a daunting task indeed. I wish you the best of luck in this contest, and I admire you for attempting this challenge, and doing it so well.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
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Thank you so very much.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Author,
It isn't easy writing a story with so few words, and I think you did a good job. One suggestion: add a comma and then continue sentence with adrenaline surging. Or you can change that sentence to the adrenaline surged.
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
Hi Author,
It isn't easy writing a story with so few words, and I think you did a good job. One suggestion: add a comma and then continue sentence with adrenaline surging. Or you can change that sentence to the adrenaline surged.
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 10-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
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Thanks very much. Good suggestion I'll have a look.
Comment from MelB
A very good suspenseful piece. If someone breaks in, you would use whatever means to defend yourself and scissors make a great weapon. I would just love to know who they were plunged into!
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
A very good suspenseful piece. If someone breaks in, you would use whatever means to defend yourself and scissors make a great weapon. I would just love to know who they were plunged into!
Comment Written 10-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
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Thanks for a great review. Ran out of words I am afraid. Only allowed a 100.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi...
Well, that had to hurt a bit. Puts a whole new twist on 'a slap in the dark!'
Good take on the prompt. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
Hi...
Well, that had to hurt a bit. Puts a whole new twist on 'a slap in the dark!'
Good take on the prompt. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 09-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
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Thank you very much.
Comment from BeasPeas
Well, that's the end of that intruder. Too bad it doesn't happen more often. Good story line with the victim coming out on top of this one.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
Well, that's the end of that intruder. Too bad it doesn't happen more often. Good story line with the victim coming out on top of this one.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
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Thank you very much. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Bridge
A very scary story. What a frightening situation to find oneself in. A very well written story. I know how difficult it is to write a good story in so few words but you have done a good job
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
A very scary story. What a frightening situation to find oneself in. A very well written story. I know how difficult it is to write a good story in so few words but you have done a good job
Comment Written 09-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
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Thanks a lot for an encouraging review.
Comment from mommerry
You did a good job of setting the scene but I felt the "horror" part of it needed more building up, The word limit had to make this difficult and I applaud you for this try.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
You did a good job of setting the scene but I felt the "horror" part of it needed more building up, The word limit had to make this difficult and I applaud you for this try.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
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Thanks a lot, it was more difficult than I realised.
Comment from LIJ Red
There was a published horror writer who did a tale very similar to this. As the woman drove the blade home, the figure by her bed said "Mommy?" In this case let's pretend the guy just stabbed Charlie Manson...
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
There was a published horror writer who did a tale very similar to this. As the woman drove the blade home, the figure by her bed said "Mommy?" In this case let's pretend the guy just stabbed Charlie Manson...
Comment Written 09-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2015
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He let's just pretend that. Thanks for you review.