To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Sunrise Sunset"Free Verse Poetry
22 total reviews
Comment from amahra
Actually, Free Verse can have some rhyme. But if you say "absolutely no rhyme, then you've just invited a form of structure. Loved your Free Verse. Great job.
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Actually, Free Verse can have some rhyme. But if you say "absolutely no rhyme, then you've just invited a form of structure. Loved your Free Verse. Great job.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
Comment from nordicgirl
In spite of the creative restrictions you have still managed an exceptional piece. This was just riveting in its depth and imagery. Wow. I can see those bottles in my mind so clearly. Good luck though not many here will appreciate this. We'll see!!
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In spite of the creative restrictions you have still managed an exceptional piece. This was just riveting in its depth and imagery. Wow. I can see those bottles in my mind so clearly. Good luck though not many here will appreciate this. We'll see!!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
Comment from Domino 2
Hi, Mikey.
It seems you were determined to get around my 'straight lines' text rule, so well done on that.
Cheers, Ray
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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Hi, Mikey.
It seems you were determined to get around my 'straight lines' text rule, so well done on that.
Cheers, Ray
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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It wasn't my main focus actually. I was just trying to write a free verse poem that was halfway decent. Maybe next time. :))
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I found the presentation very distracting and therefore hard to concentrate on the content. Mind you, that's just my humble opinion.
I noticed you criticised my rules in a reply to a review. If you didn't like them, why enter?
OK - so you like a challenge. :-)
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Not a criticism, just a comment that it presented a challenge to me. I miss my beloved dashes and dots!
Comment from Tatarka2
I don't know why this didn't win or place. There's so much to say about this one - I loved the imagery, the message, the alliteration, the rhyme within the poem - the alternative format that still managed to adhere to the rules. I haven't read the rest of the entries (one of which was mine) but I don't see how they could be much better than this. I think this is one of your best.
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I don't know why this didn't win or place. There's so much to say about this one - I loved the imagery, the message, the alliteration, the rhyme within the poem - the alternative format that still managed to adhere to the rules. I haven't read the rest of the entries (one of which was mine) but I don't see how they could be much better than this. I think this is one of your best.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
Comment from Jay Squires
And another way of looking at it, Mikey: because you sealed a morning glory seed in a bottle and set it free ... a bum whose only taste of beauty was the morning glory he picked ... is dead.
And you ... you S.O.B., you murdered him!
Speaking of hope, did you get your trophy yet?
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2015
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And another way of looking at it, Mikey: because you sealed a morning glory seed in a bottle and set it free ... a bum whose only taste of beauty was the morning glory he picked ... is dead.
And you ... you S.O.B., you murdered him!
Speaking of hope, did you get your trophy yet?
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2015
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Jay, I DID get my trophy today!! They're pretty cool actually. I'm having the clients here pull me around the neighborhood in a little red wagon proclaiming my dominion over the neighborhood! I see them all peeking out their windows in envy. Ha!
Of course, one of the features of the Acme steamroller is, it only flattens people, it doesn't kill them. mikey
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Good, I might get mine tomorrow. We have 5 or 6 more streets in Bako than Lancaster.
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We're a checkerboard here. A-Z and 1-200 east then 1-200 west. Exciting! The trophies are rather nice. Let the ones without one cry, I think it's something to be proud of. :)
Comment from Kingsland
This was so very original and I really liked the way you formatted it. It added to the enjoyment of the read. This is not just an excellent poem, it is rather an outstanding poem. Wherein it just grabbed my attention form the beginning and didn't release me until its end. This is well deserving of all six stars awarded here... John
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This was so very original and I really liked the way you formatted it. It added to the enjoyment of the read. This is not just an excellent poem, it is rather an outstanding poem. Wherein it just grabbed my attention form the beginning and didn't release me until its end. This is well deserving of all six stars awarded here... John
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
Comment from Wolf_Sky
I liked the poem, however I will not be voting for it as you did not follow the word count, and used structured lines. very nice, and a wonderful message. wishing you a good day, Wolf_Sky
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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I liked the poem, however I will not be voting for it as you did not follow the word count, and used structured lines. very nice, and a wonderful message. wishing you a good day, Wolf_Sky
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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Thanks for pointing out the word count, I had 180 in my head and I never checked again!! I've fixed that. The line structure, however, is correct. The rules call for straight lines and all of the lines are straight. The rules where designed to avoid using devices liking writing "fall" in staggered lines to physically represent falling. Thanks a million, no one bothered to point the count out. I wouldn't have noticed! mikey
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oh, ok. and glad it helped!!
Comment from royowen
I've never quite understood why people arrange words in the manner you've arranged them here, Mikey, I find it really off putting, would people write a letter that way? Could burn up a lot trees doing it! I think the thrust of the poem, is...morning glory is indigenous to tropical places, it's an absolute pest here in Australia, extremely difficult to be rid of, it accumulates layer upon layer and rots wooden fences, I liked the metaphorical use of a beautiful plant, but an insidious pest! Well done, blessings, Roy.
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I've never quite understood why people arrange words in the manner you've arranged them here, Mikey, I find it really off putting, would people write a letter that way? Could burn up a lot trees doing it! I think the thrust of the poem, is...morning glory is indigenous to tropical places, it's an absolute pest here in Australia, extremely difficult to be rid of, it accumulates layer upon layer and rots wooden fences, I liked the metaphorical use of a beautiful plant, but an insidious pest! Well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is a creative free verse with quite an inventive form, Michael. The lines all are straight, so it does not go against the letter of law in the rules. I like the "morning glory seed in a bottle," washing to shore with other discarded bottles to be used in a quick kissing game. Good luck, Jeanie
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This is a creative free verse with quite an inventive form, Michael. The lines all are straight, so it does not go against the letter of law in the rules. I like the "morning glory seed in a bottle," washing to shore with other discarded bottles to be used in a quick kissing game. Good luck, Jeanie
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
Comment from Sankey
Good onya mate and thereby I give myself away. Hope you do good in this. What sort of format do we call this a Mikey format perhaps. Thanks mate. Writer's block on this side! Groan! No spags shock horror!
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Good onya mate and thereby I give myself away. Hope you do good in this. What sort of format do we call this a Mikey format perhaps. Thanks mate. Writer's block on this side! Groan! No spags shock horror!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015