Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 63 "Witko Moon"Murder Mystery
37 total reviews
Comment from DALLAS01
Moving right along in this action packed chapter. Was really surprised that Rick is in cahoots with Matthew. Didn't take Jana long to detect something is askew here.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
Moving right along in this action packed chapter. Was really surprised that Rick is in cahoots with Matthew. Didn't take Jana long to detect something is askew here.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Frankly, I hadn't planned for Rick to be the mole. But when it came down to writing the chapter, I formulated a theory as to why he would be the one. The reasons will be eventually revealed.
Thanks for the great review and continued support, Dallas.
:) Bev
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:.)
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Great follow up to the previous scene. Incredible that Matthew refused to admit what he saw.
Good flow, superb dialogue, and yet more intrigue. What can I say? You're good, my friend. I just lose myself in your words, and forget I'm reading from a screen!
Bravo, yet again, my lady.
Love and hugs!
Av
Matthew's voice rose(.)
Trying to get to Edward Pearce first(?)" - not sure if there should be a question mark here??
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
Great follow up to the previous scene. Incredible that Matthew refused to admit what he saw.
Good flow, superb dialogue, and yet more intrigue. What can I say? You're good, my friend. I just lose myself in your words, and forget I'm reading from a screen!
Bravo, yet again, my lady.
Love and hugs!
Av
Matthew's voice rose(.)
Trying to get to Edward Pearce first(?)" - not sure if there should be a question mark here??
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Av, thank you so much for this awesome review. I appreciate your suggestions, too. Have made the changes as I've no doubt your are correct. Your support and encouragement are so very much appreciated. Much love, Bev
Comment from Petriesan
I loved thius, except for this one piece:
"You people have botched this case from the beginning." His eyes bulged with hatred. "The only justice my father is going to get will have to come through me." He reached into his back pocket and, quicker than the twitch of a cat's whisker, tossed his car keys into Aaron's waiting hands. "You know what to do.
"bulging" eyes and quicker than a twitch. . .bot seemed to draw attention to the writing more than the story...otherwise, as I said, great
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
I loved thius, except for this one piece:
"You people have botched this case from the beginning." His eyes bulged with hatred. "The only justice my father is going to get will have to come through me." He reached into his back pocket and, quicker than the twitch of a cat's whisker, tossed his car keys into Aaron's waiting hands. "You know what to do.
"bulging" eyes and quicker than a twitch. . .bot seemed to draw attention to the writing more than the story...otherwise, as I said, great
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thanks for your great review, Petriesan. And I will go back and look at the section you mention as there's merit in what you are saying. Appreciate your generous review and suggestions! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from DanielEkine
Brilliant writing.
Great concept.
Fully invested in by the author.
Great presentation and SPAG command.
"Matthew turned on his P.I. and seeing Aaron's colt, he ordered, "Put it away.""
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
Brilliant writing.
Great concept.
Fully invested in by the author.
Great presentation and SPAG command.
"Matthew turned on his P.I. and seeing Aaron's colt, he ordered, "Put it away.""
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Daniel, thank you very much for this really wonderful review. I very much appreciate your encouragement and generosity. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from JW
This is another well written chapter. No spags were found.
The last sentence in this chapter does a good job in making a reader wonder what's about to happen.
Thanks for sharing this new addition. JW
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
This is another well written chapter. No spags were found.
The last sentence in this chapter does a good job in making a reader wonder what's about to happen.
Thanks for sharing this new addition. JW
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Jonathon! I really appreciate your continued support and encouragement. I'm glad I caught the spags this time LoL. :) Bev
Comment from Raphael Montonaro
Outstanding use of dialogue. Very few writers including myself know how to use this to advance the story. Amazing job.......keep writing this was good!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
Outstanding use of dialogue. Very few writers including myself know how to use this to advance the story. Amazing job.......keep writing this was good!
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, Raphael. I am so pleased you enjoyed my chapter. And thanks for your support and encouragement. :) Bev
Comment from MM lives on :)
As always Bev you have an amazing talent of pulling the reader in by the hem of their essence.. I really enjoyed reading your chapter through and through. Thank you ever much for sharing always a great pleasure..
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
As always Bev you have an amazing talent of pulling the reader in by the hem of their essence.. I really enjoyed reading your chapter through and through. Thank you ever much for sharing always a great pleasure..
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Christopher, what an elegant and generous review. Thank you, my friend, for supporting me in such a kind way. It means a lot to me. :) Bev
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You are welcome my friend...
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Christopher, you really honor me with your generosity. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means more than I can say. xx Bev
Comment from Norbanus
A terrific job of shaking up the the scene by bringing Rick in the way you did. Even better for Jana to stir a bit of suspicion. He's had the hots for Jana all along, so if he turns out to be a villain we've got a heck of a turn. Nice going.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
A terrific job of shaking up the the scene by bringing Rick in the way you did. Even better for Jana to stir a bit of suspicion. He's had the hots for Jana all along, so if he turns out to be a villain we've got a heck of a turn. Nice going.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Norbanus. I'm really impressed that you remember all the backstory about Rick! Thanks for confirming my decision to go with this plot thread. I much appreciate the encouragement and support. :) Bev
Comment from Adri7enne
You've got me going back in my head to all the scenes in which Rick appeared. I can't remember too many of them except that he's Jana's partner, isn't he? Did she have a romantic interest in him at one time? Heavy stuff, Bev! Lots of drama as God and the devil fight it out. Lots of bad guys out there. Well done, girl! Held me to the end!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
You've got me going back in my head to all the scenes in which Rick appeared. I can't remember too many of them except that he's Jana's partner, isn't he? Did she have a romantic interest in him at one time? Heavy stuff, Bev! Lots of drama as God and the devil fight it out. Lots of bad guys out there. Well done, girl! Held me to the end!
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much, Adrienne. Rick has a bad case of unrequited love, which got even worse when the FBI former boyfriend came along. Your memory is terrific, it's not you. It's the length between posts LoL. I really appreciate your support, generosity and encouragement, my friend.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from misscookie
Another great chapter
Just when you think every things is falling in place. there another question of why? he said that.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
Another great chapter
Just when you think every things is falling in place. there another question of why? he said that.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, Cookie. I really appreciate the gracious review! Hugs, Bev
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You're very welcome, have a blessed day. Until next time.
Cookie