Love at First Kiss
Can it be?26 total reviews
Comment from livelylinda
Author: FABULOUS! Not at all expecting the ending. You have told quite a tale is a few words and you are shining! I'm already out of 6's but this one is a sixer, without doubt. livelylinda
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Author: FABULOUS! Not at all expecting the ending. You have told quite a tale is a few words and you are shining! I'm already out of 6's but this one is a sixer, without doubt. livelylinda
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Glasstruth
Strange writing. But way better than following the norm. The honesty was what struck me at first. Then came the ending. It blew me off course. This could easily be continued. Good luck with the contest. Les
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Strange writing. But way better than following the norm. The honesty was what struck me at first. Then came the ending. It blew me off course. This could easily be continued. Good luck with the contest. Les
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
your well penned words and vivid images allows the reader to see and feel the story of you and the hooker and the murder and the wish of that kiss
cheers >.smoothiecool
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good luck in the contest
your well penned words and vivid images allows the reader to see and feel the story of you and the hooker and the murder and the wish of that kiss
cheers >.smoothiecool
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
Comment from Twonunsandachimp
It was a great story, but doesn't go along with the contest. They never kissed. I did enjoy reading it. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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It was a great story, but doesn't go along with the contest. They never kissed. I did enjoy reading it. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much, but they did. These entries are monitored by the contest committee. Remember the last line.: "I only wish I?d kissed her before killing her."
He kissed a dead woman.
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My fault I must have missed that.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
LOL! Shocking ending... love it. Kissing is required in this contest tho, but I imagine you kissed her after she was dead... ewwww... grosser yet!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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LOL! Shocking ending... love it. Kissing is required in this contest tho, but I imagine you kissed her after she was dead... ewwww... grosser yet!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much: "I only wish I?d kissed her before killing her."
You are right, he kissed a dead woman.
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You might want to put before in italics to make that clear.
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good idea.
Comment from NurseBarb
Yikes!! Beautiful picture, DARK story. Did not see the last line coming. Wish the story could be more than 100 words as I'd like to get in the mind of the killer more. This would be a good short story with no word limitations.
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Yikes!! Beautiful picture, DARK story. Did not see the last line coming. Wish the story could be more than 100 words as I'd like to get in the mind of the killer more. This would be a good short story with no word limitations.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
Comment from sibhus
Yeah, proabably something to keep in mind, you might want to write yourself a note, ha, ha, Good story that makes for an excellent entry for the contest. Good luck.
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Yeah, proabably something to keep in mind, you might want to write yourself a note, ha, ha, Good story that makes for an excellent entry for the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Wow!
This definitely is extreme flash fiction.
You achieved interest,philosophy, surprise and an ending with a mighty sting in the tail.
All this in 100 words.
Amazing.
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Wow!
This definitely is extreme flash fiction.
You achieved interest,philosophy, surprise and an ending with a mighty sting in the tail.
All this in 100 words.
Amazing.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
The unexpected climax well done (no pun intended). Talk about being led down the garden path. I should have picked up on the foreshadow when you wrote,
"I guess a hundred dollars is the going price for a soul."
Well done and good luck.
Regards:
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The unexpected climax well done (no pun intended). Talk about being led down the garden path. I should have picked up on the foreshadow when you wrote,
"I guess a hundred dollars is the going price for a soul."
Well done and good luck.
Regards:
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
Comment from adewpearl
would have never noticed me, let alone leave - let alone left
Well, this is definitely a very different take on the theme of kissing a stranger, and a creative take at that :-)
It's rare someone catches me with their reveal - I've usually guessed what is coming. Good for you for pulling that off :-) Brooke
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would have never noticed me, let alone leave - let alone left
Well, this is definitely a very different take on the theme of kissing a stranger, and a creative take at that :-)
It's rare someone catches me with their reveal - I've usually guessed what is coming. Good for you for pulling that off :-) Brooke
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014