Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Six very good stanzas in mono-rhyme and very well written. It's a really happy poem that children will love. You have used some great alliteration - especially your first line. I think perhaps being a children's poem 'strordin'ry might cause a pause - I certainly did, but some of your own made-up words are great. Good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 18-May-2014

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reply by the author on 19-May-2014

Thanks, Dorothy - glad you enjoyed.

Sorry about 'strordin'ry - I did have second thoughts about it but it demanded to go there and I'm sure is easily accepted when you hear the poem read aloud.

Steve

Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Excellent

What a wonderfully jolly children's poem with a delightful cadence and lots of frivolity and fun.
This is just the style of poem that children will enjoy reciting and giggling
Along with.
A felightful flashback to childhood poetry.

 Comment Written 18-May-2014

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reply by the author on 19-May-2014

Thanks so much for the generous review.

Steve

Comment from Jackarrie

Exceptional

This is a brilliant poem, I loved the whole feel of joyfulness all the way through it. Every line is animated.

Now Melody knew that this framjumptious sound
Must arise from the world where the Smileys abound,
Where Jesters and Jaffas and Jokers are found,
Where nobody ever has fretted or frowned.

I loved it. a deserved six.
A great entry into the contest. Good luck, Mary

 Comment Written 18-May-2014

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reply by the author on 19-May-2014

Mary, thanks so much for the enthusiastic review and the six stars. Seems you managed to pick a winner...

Steve

reply by Jackarrie on 19-May-2014

I sure did, a big congratulations. great poem Mary

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

This would be a fun poem to read to children and which they would enjoy hearing because of the fun rhymes and rhythm. It's a cute story and the nonsense words would catch their ear. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 18-May-2014

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reply by the author on 19-May-2014

Thanks for the generous review.

Steve

Comment from seaglass

Excellent

This is a fun, rhyming poem with a musical meter. It has funky, creative words the kids like and tells a story of a young girl fulfilling a dream that kids relate to.

 Comment Written 18-May-2014

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reply by the author on 19-May-2014

Thanks for the positive review.

Steve

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

solid use of mono-rhyming in each quatrain
fun use of abundant alliteration
clever use of coined and unusual words
effective use of high-impact verbs to add life/action and mood to the scene
vivid detail with strong sensory appeal
great humor - I'm sure this will appeal to children with their great imaginations :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 18-May-2014

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reply by the author on 19-May-2014

Brooke, thanks for the thoughtful analysis.

Steve

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

As long as there is no actual plagiarism steering near the good stuff of past masters is fine-and wise. This is good
poetry for such few young ones as will listen anymore...
I didn't mean to say you had imitated-you just captured the flavor of Carroll and Lear-a fine thing indeed-if you like jabberwockies and such.

 Comment Written 17-May-2014

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reply by the author on 19-May-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

I am intrigued by your comment about past masters - I wasn't thinking about imitating anyone when I wrote this. Looking back, there might be a touch of Lewis Carroll - is that who you were thinking of?

Steve

Comment from Charlene0513

Excellent

A very exhilarating and joyous poem that would tickle the innards of any child. Wonderful creativity and alliteration used. A perfect example of just how a life of no cares can uplift even the ones feeling the worst.
Charlene

 Comment Written 17-May-2014

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reply by the author on 19-May-2014

Thanks so much for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from a.w.brooks

Excellent

Reminds me of Dr. Suess loved it, thanks for writing the story and the words and the feel flowed together very well thanks again happy writing

 Comment Written 17-May-2014

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reply by the author on 20-May-2014

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

This has a flavour of Edward Lear (They went to sea in a sieve, I think was the first line)and his nonsense rhymes. It was full of fun characters and colourfully fun language and I am sure kids would love it. Good luck in the contest. Faye

 Comment Written 17-May-2014

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reply by the author on 20-May-2014

Thanks for the review and also for reminding me about the Jumblies - I'm sure I've seen the poem before but it must have been a long time ago and I enjoyed reading the wonderful piece of nonsense all over again.

Steve

reply by Nosha17 on 20-May-2014

I just read that it won, congratulations, I can always spot a winner! I also love "The Owl and the Pussycat" by Lear, that is my favourite of all time. Thank you for sharing, Faye