Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 59 "Wayaka Moon"Murder Mystery
34 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Good gracious, I can see this as if it's a movie, and it's so powerful, Bev!
Just a couple of small edits:
1) "...to guide her back (onto) the bed..."
2) "...the doctors (choose) whether..."
This is such a fabulous chapter! I especially loved the detail in the hospital scene - so realistic! Bravo, my friend! Fabulous!
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2014
Good gracious, I can see this as if it's a movie, and it's so powerful, Bev!
Just a couple of small edits:
1) "...to guide her back (onto) the bed..."
2) "...the doctors (choose) whether..."
This is such a fabulous chapter! I especially loved the detail in the hospital scene - so realistic! Bravo, my friend! Fabulous!
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2014
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Hi, Dawn. Thank you so very much, my friend. You know I had onto in my original post and was suggested to change it. I'm going back to the original :) As always, your encouragement and generosity have put me over the moon! Love, Bev
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LOL. Been there, done that - not all the suggestions we get are 100%, eh? Even with good intentions, we can blow it (I know I can, anyway! LOL)
You are so very welcome, Bev. (Just remember your struggling novelist/poet when you're rich and famous, right? *smile*)
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Oops - I meant ME, your struggling writer friend.) *grin*
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Only if you promise to do the same, Dawn. You are already published... and more to come, I hope. I respect that! Hugs, Bev
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Hahaha - deal. But I suspect you'll 'get there', and I'm not holding my breath for MY success - especially if I don't start being more disciplined about getting revisions done and submitting! I respect YOUR focus, my friend!!! You've got it going on!!!
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Your busy writing fresh, new stuff, Dawn. But you're right about doing the editing. I've started that process and it's been very interesting - and helpful - so far. xxx Bev
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XXOO :)
Comment from MM lives on :)
Hi BEV, I hope all is going well with you and I see another exceptional chapter being crafted here my dear friend, been travelling so will have to digest this one at a later time but on the surface, wow!
exceptional and love all your works! CS :)
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2014
Hi BEV, I hope all is going well with you and I see another exceptional chapter being crafted here my dear friend, been travelling so will have to digest this one at a later time but on the surface, wow!
exceptional and love all your works! CS :)
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2014
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Hi, Christopher. How kind of you to pop in during your travels. You are such a gracious man! Safe travels, my friend.
And thanks for the generous stars. :) Bev
Comment from Adri7enne
You are delving into the nature of evil, Bev. Scary stuff. While I don't believe in personified evil, I believe there are people who are totally blind to good - who seem to be aligned with negative thinking and full of hate and fear. It makes them so scary.
You did a wonderful job drawing me into this scary scene. You're much more ruthless with your characters than I would have originally surmised. Very intense! Shivery stuff, girl!
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2014
You are delving into the nature of evil, Bev. Scary stuff. While I don't believe in personified evil, I believe there are people who are totally blind to good - who seem to be aligned with negative thinking and full of hate and fear. It makes them so scary.
You did a wonderful job drawing me into this scary scene. You're much more ruthless with your characters than I would have originally surmised. Very intense! Shivery stuff, girl!
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Adrienne, for this really wonderful review. I appreciate your insights on the subject of evil. There is much wisdom in what you are saying. But this 3D world we live in has mysteries and its own set of rule, at least in my experience. And that's what I'm basing the novel on. Are there other realities? Absolutely.
Thank you for much for your generosity, support and encouragement.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from DALLAS01
Bev,
Just enjoyed another great chapter. Your characterizations are flawless. The way you weave them into you plot is amazing. Never too much time spent on one character, and not enough on the other. Great balancing act. Worried now about what is in store for Father Brian.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2014
Bev,
Just enjoyed another great chapter. Your characterizations are flawless. The way you weave them into you plot is amazing. Never too much time spent on one character, and not enough on the other. Great balancing act. Worried now about what is in store for Father Brian.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2014
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Dallas, thank you so very much for this very encouraging and generous review. I really appreciate your perspective. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from JW
This chapter contains a couple of interesting developments, and you did a good job of writing it.
If I may, there is one recommendation I would like to share:
We report our observations -- the doctors chose whether to act on them."
This might read smoother if this line read like this
We report our observations -- but,the doctors choose whether to act on them."
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2014
This chapter contains a couple of interesting developments, and you did a good job of writing it.
If I may, there is one recommendation I would like to share:
We report our observations -- the doctors chose whether to act on them."
This might read smoother if this line read like this
We report our observations -- but,the doctors choose whether to act on them."
Comment Written 29-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, Jonathon. I appreciate the support and insights. :0) Bev
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Writingfundimension,
I'm glad I caught this chapter, it certainly sets a terrific scene for the final showdown. Can the demon be defeated? Perhaps, but I suspect it will take the combined efforts of Fr Brian, Jana, Tony and the Grandmother.
Great tension, and terrific scene setting.
Patrick
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014
Hi Writingfundimension,
I'm glad I caught this chapter, it certainly sets a terrific scene for the final showdown. Can the demon be defeated? Perhaps, but I suspect it will take the combined efforts of Fr Brian, Jana, Tony and the Grandmother.
Great tension, and terrific scene setting.
Patrick
Comment Written 29-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014
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Hi, Patrick. Thank you for this wonderful review. I appreciate that you get the pacing. That means a lot to me. And also congratulations on your nomination for that beautifully written chapter. Good luck to you, my friend.
:0) Bev
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Bev.
This is excellent! You've done a fabulous job showing what is assumed to be a psychotic episode from the morphine. Drugs do funny things with our minds creating illusions. You proved this otherwise with nurse Hubbard and the gathering pool of blood. Your imagery is so well done!
I could feel the heat of the creature's breath on my face, and the stinging bite of his saliva. Bravo to you my friend!
Awesome chapter!!!
Bye
Hugs
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014
Hi, Bev.
This is excellent! You've done a fabulous job showing what is assumed to be a psychotic episode from the morphine. Drugs do funny things with our minds creating illusions. You proved this otherwise with nurse Hubbard and the gathering pool of blood. Your imagery is so well done!
I could feel the heat of the creature's breath on my face, and the stinging bite of his saliva. Bravo to you my friend!
Awesome chapter!!!
Bye
Hugs
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 29-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014
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Thank you so very much, Rosalyne. You've been patient and most encouraging with this novel's journey. It is coming to a finale, probably no more than 2-3 more chapters. I so appreciate your generosity and support, my friend. Hugs, Bev
Comment from AprilShower
Thought we were getting closer to who killed those people, Bev. Now another person has been caught and might actually be murder. It seems this mystery is not anywhere near being solved.
I am wondering how Father Brian is involved in this mystery.
Hope the mystery is solved soon.
Hugs,
April
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014
Thought we were getting closer to who killed those people, Bev. Now another person has been caught and might actually be murder. It seems this mystery is not anywhere near being solved.
I am wondering how Father Brian is involved in this mystery.
Hope the mystery is solved soon.
Hugs,
April
Comment Written 29-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014
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Thanks, April. There's loose ends to be tied up before I can end the novel. In the last chapter, it was indicated that Father Brian would be called to use his skills to help free Tony, and end the violence. Regards, Bev
Comment from jadapenn
Hi dear Bev, another absorbing chapter in my great book. Ugh, funny things happening in Agnes's room. I wonder if Tony was communicating with her. I think she can feel he's in trouble. But the pool of blood was creepy. About time this psycho was brought to account. He is a creature that you've developed well. Why, it's dark here and I feel stressed out from the chapter. lol. Great to chat to you again. Well done. luv jada
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014
Hi dear Bev, another absorbing chapter in my great book. Ugh, funny things happening in Agnes's room. I wonder if Tony was communicating with her. I think she can feel he's in trouble. But the pool of blood was creepy. About time this psycho was brought to account. He is a creature that you've developed well. Why, it's dark here and I feel stressed out from the chapter. lol. Great to chat to you again. Well done. luv jada
Comment Written 29-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014
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Thank you so very much, Jada. You honor me with your generosity and encouragement. It seems this is not coming together quite fast enough for some, but I can understand the frustration. I'm sure it'd be more fun if one had a book and could skip to the end, which I have been known to do LoL. Anyway, I really appreciate you! Hugs, Bev
Comment from boxergirl
Sorry I don't have a six for this one. You did a great job of captivating me from the beginning and then the tension built when the scene switches to Tony. Scary stuff!
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014
Sorry I don't have a six for this one. You did a great job of captivating me from the beginning and then the tension built when the scene switches to Tony. Scary stuff!
Comment Written 29-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014
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A virtual six along with your consistent support and encouragement are more than enough for me, BG. Thanks so much!
:0) Bev