Deaddy Scare
An aging cop and his young daughter are threatened at home.53 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
In 500 words Dean you set a horrible and scary scene that in the end did make me scream ( a very unexpected closer)
Did you ever consider teaching how to write horror stories/
Gert
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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In 500 words Dean you set a horrible and scary scene that in the end did make me scream ( a very unexpected closer)
Did you ever consider teaching how to write horror stories/
Gert
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Gert, I appreciate your kind words. No, I have never considered teaching, and I'm not entirely certain that I would have the patience required to do so. It's an honor to know that you feel I could, though. That truly means a lot!
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You are welcome Dean
Think about teaching
Gert
Comment from DR DIP
Well this is really very rare for me to read stories dean as you know but the images got me in I just had to read the Stephen King of Fan Story's latest production...And I am so glad I did and wish I didn't at the same time. If the intention is for me to shit myself in the vivid images and story you have so successfully created ..well you surely have succeeded....You are definitely the master blaster of disaster Deano this is fkg brilliant!!
as always (shitting myself) dipster
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Well this is really very rare for me to read stories dean as you know but the images got me in I just had to read the Stephen King of Fan Story's latest production...And I am so glad I did and wish I didn't at the same time. If the intention is for me to shit myself in the vivid images and story you have so successfully created ..well you surely have succeeded....You are definitely the master blaster of disaster Deano this is fkg brilliant!!
as always (shitting myself) dipster
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Hah, The Master Blaster of Disaster, I like that, dip, lol!
I know, you rarely review prose, and I am always so thankful to hear your opinions on a story I've written when you decide to do so.
And, yes, I did have shitting one's self in mind when I wrote this, so it's nice to see that, in your particular case, anyway, that I've succeeded, heh heh.
Thanks, dip! Always a pleasure
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was creepy after the fact. It didn't get me until the very end and then the visions started coming together. I was convinced that the girl was tiny. I bought it hook line and sinker. Then I saw what the bad guys saw and I was floored. Yes, you nailed it in 500 words.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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This was creepy after the fact. It didn't get me until the very end and then the visions started coming together. I was convinced that the girl was tiny. I bought it hook line and sinker. Then I saw what the bad guys saw and I was floored. Yes, you nailed it in 500 words.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Thank you, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was written (hopefull) as a story that would stick with the reader long after the physical reading was done. So, I am very happy that you, at least, felt that.
Thanks again, GW!
Comment from Macsween
Excellent work Dean. Very imaginative with a great twist at the end. You have written a great little horror story here. Good luck in the competition. I think you have a winner here.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Excellent work Dean. Very imaginative with a great twist at the end. You have written a great little horror story here. Good luck in the competition. I think you have a winner here.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Thanks, Macsween, I'm glad you feel that way. I suppose we'll know very soon, when the voters have spoken later today.
Thanks so much again for you review, my friend.
Comment from Kausar_Javeria
OOOooooookaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy...................
That was pretty awesome..no..that was absolutely amazing!..I loved it! This is the best entry! Really good..and I loved the gif of the bloody knife in the middle..great job..great story & concept..
Good Luck and God Bless~!
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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OOOooooookaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy...................
That was pretty awesome..no..that was absolutely amazing!..I loved it! This is the best entry! Really good..and I loved the gif of the bloody knife in the middle..great job..great story & concept..
Good Luck and God Bless~!
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Kausar, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed the story. Thank you also for your exceptional rating. Much obliged.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another macabre and dark tale that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is a grisly story and would make a great movie or TV series. Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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This is yet another macabre and dark tale that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is a grisly story and would make a great movie or TV series. Well done.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Tomes. I was thinking of stories like those in the Twilight Zone episodes when I wrote it. I truly appreciate you review, my friend.
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I loved reading it.
Comment from judy.gordon
For me, I would never have a sweet little girl kill anybody. I know cussing it prominent in our society but I don't have to read it. The last book I read with swear words in it, I threw in the trash after the first bad word. I know you are a very good author but I wouldn't read any of your stories. Sorry. You can be mad at me but I'm just trying to tell you that our world is so saturated with the wrong words that I wish they weren't in writing material too.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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For me, I would never have a sweet little girl kill anybody. I know cussing it prominent in our society but I don't have to read it. The last book I read with swear words in it, I threw in the trash after the first bad word. I know you are a very good author but I wouldn't read any of your stories. Sorry. You can be mad at me but I'm just trying to tell you that our world is so saturated with the wrong words that I wish they weren't in writing material too.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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No, I'm not mad at you at all, Judy. You are surely entitled to your opinion, and as a US Marine (who protect your rights to have the freedoms you enjoy, and swear quite often, as well), I fought for your right to speak them.
I'm sorry you feel that way, but as a writer, you must be realistic and true to your story. That doesn't mean I use that kind of language personally -- I don't -- but my characters often do.
How would it sound for two hoods (have you even ever been to a hood?) to utter, "C'mon, guy, golly gee! We must hurry up or we might get our butts thrown in the greybar hotel!" I can assure you, they don't speak that way.
Thanks again for your kind review.
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Sorry, I understand what you are saying about language. I posted my first chapter of my fantasy novel today. It is called, Quest for the Sacred Stones. I hope you read it so you can review it.
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I'll give it a look, judy. Thanks for the heads-up. Look for my review very soon...
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Thank you. I would appreciate your comments on my other work. I have 2 short stories and a poem. The poem is on page 3.
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Certainly, and feel free to look into reviewing a few from my portfolio as well. Not all of my works are horror fiction. I do write other things on occasion as well.
Thanks, Judy!
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Thank you again for your suggestions on presenting my story. I corrected what you told me to correct and I added a picture.
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That's great, Judy. I'll reread, then upgrade to a higher rating, if warranted. See...I ain't such a bad guy after all...
8>)
Comment from CALLAHANMR
This is the second six I've given you today, each one better than the last. I count myself as being pretty perceptive but I wasn't expecting this at all. The twist was totally out of the blue, and yet perfectly logical. Awesome.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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This is the second six I've given you today, each one better than the last. I count myself as being pretty perceptive but I wasn't expecting this at all. The twist was totally out of the blue, and yet perfectly logical. Awesome.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Thanks, CALLAHANMR, I've always appreciate your kindness, readership and fair reviews. Can you believe I just received a 4 star review or this story, by a fellow competitor, simply because I used swear words? Talk about your sore losers, huh?
Thank again, my friend. I really appreciate it!
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I saw that idiotic review. Nearly choked on it I checked out her portfolio and she's a new writer, trying to write horror herself, not doing it very well. She should have read the warning and stayed with children's beddy bye stories.
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I saw that idiotic review. Nearly choked on it I checked out her portfolio and she's a new writer, trying to write horror herself, not doing it very well. She should have read the warning and stayed with children's beddy bye stories.
Comment from Millibrad
Great suspense in this little horror thriller. You quickly set the scene and followed up building suspense leading to the gory climax and the surprise ending. An enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Great suspense in this little horror thriller. You quickly set the scene and followed up building suspense leading to the gory climax and the surprise ending. An enjoyable read.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Thanks, Millibrad. I'm very glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from forestport12
Excellent realistic dialogue. I still struggle with forcing myself to misspell words to create authenticity with the character. But this is good and you get strong images in readers mind of each interestingly developed characters. Good luck with this. Definitely in the race.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Excellent realistic dialogue. I still struggle with forcing myself to misspell words to create authenticity with the character. But this is good and you get strong images in readers mind of each interestingly developed characters. Good luck with this. Definitely in the race.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Thanks, Stan, and I was hesitant at first to do the "baby talk" thing. But, I wanted to convey the impression that Selena was a child, so I could spring the ending on my unsuspecting readers. It seemed to work out okay.