Reviews from

Grudge

A Clarity Pyramid poem.....someone's not happy

19 total reviews 
Comment from adewpearl
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Your poem is in good syllable count and stanza structure for the Clarity Pyramid - now you just need to center it to make it look like a pyramid :-)
You capture the essence of this destructive emotion well
Brooke

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
    Hey Brooke, It was centered when I sent it in...I tried to re-do..and it came out that way again. I think it is in my not having the knowledge to know how to fix it. Duh thanks for writing!,
Comment from mbagby23
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So many people hold grudges for all the wrong reason. It is pointless, never gets us anywhere. Plus, most of teatime the person we are holding a grudge with doesn't even know or care.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
    So spot on...thanks so much
Comment from GabbyLew
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I really like this poem. I love the title.

I loved your use of synonyms for the first triplet.

Then using the second triplet to explain the situation is clever and effective.

I'm not sure I get why you placed the last line in quotations, but I like the wording of the last line.

So well done.


 Comment Written 14-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
    Lol these specs were quite specific...so the quotation marks were part of the whole...loved your comments..thank you.
Comment from Angel Debbie
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Strong write
You had my attention all the way through
Good luck with Clarity contest
Thank You for sharing this interesting and emotional write

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
    Thank you so very very much!
reply by Angel Debbie on 15-Apr-2014
    Your welcome. Stop on by and give my writing a try. All is welcome to read.
Comment from Jay Squires
Good
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I admire your challenge here. The fact that you don't have a word restriction, only a line restriction, I think you could develop the first part more by adding more to "Grudge" "envy" and "jealousy". I'm not a poet, but to me the first three lines are flat for a lack of definition.

Sorry.

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 Comment Written 14-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
    Hi there...and thank you for reading this. The rules for this one are interesting and different. The rules are posted, but the first triplet can only be 1,2, and3 syllables.
    It was a challenge.Take care.
Comment from Lothlorien
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This is a great poem, is does an excellent job of expressing the speaker's dislike of whoever they have a grudge agains. I hope you do well in the contest!

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
    Thank you...this was a very different challenge.
Comment from Righteous Riter
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This piece meets the criteria of the clarity poem as the syllable count is correct. Good alliteration with after/all. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
    Thanks so much, and appreciate the luck.
Comment from Ben Colder
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All from the other side of darkness. Letting off the steam sometimes melt away the evil thoughts. Luck in the contest. Shalom.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
    What a contest...the rules were really a challenge...fun!
Comment from l.raven
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Wooo!!! I would say some one is not happy...my mother always told us to never play in another persons backyard...to stay in your own...miss with my man ...no more friends...very well written...

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 Comment Written 14-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
    Lol...this was so much fun....great difficult rules. Thank you.