Contraction
As family shrinks emptiness expands24 total reviews
Comment from rouskin
A real life story :tarnished silver boxed up
in anticipation of next years paltry head count and wise words:family shrinks
the emptiness expands
contraction.
Very strong contestant Best of luck and be blessed
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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A real life story :tarnished silver boxed up
in anticipation of next years paltry head count and wise words:family shrinks
the emptiness expands
contraction.
Very strong contestant Best of luck and be blessed
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Nosha17
Good imagery of the shrinking family and the reduced needs, but increased loneliness. You have made good use of language and it flowed well. I wanted to point out an error in the 3rd verse as it is a contest entry -it should read 'next year's'-hope you don't mind me telling you. Enjoyable read, good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Good imagery of the shrinking family and the reduced needs, but increased loneliness. You have made good use of language and it flowed well. I wanted to point out an error in the 3rd verse as it is a contest entry -it should read 'next year's'-hope you don't mind me telling you. Enjoyable read, good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Thanks for the kind review and the heads up. Appreciate it.
Comment from ennahanid
A highly relate-able write this one - perfectly stated and elegantly so as the china and tarnished silver now packed away
dictates. Sad these dwindling family times and I suppose one must be somewhat thankful if not necessarily satisfied by everyone moving on.
Quite a touching write and it was a pleasure to read you this morning - Dinah
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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A highly relate-able write this one - perfectly stated and elegantly so as the china and tarnished silver now packed away
dictates. Sad these dwindling family times and I suppose one must be somewhat thankful if not necessarily satisfied by everyone moving on.
Quite a touching write and it was a pleasure to read you this morning - Dinah
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good alliteration with curio/cabinet...piece/personifies...chips/china...heart's/hemorrhage...emptiness/expands. Good description. Good complimentary photo followed by a heart touching message.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Good alliteration with curio/cabinet...piece/personifies...chips/china...heart's/hemorrhage...emptiness/expands. Good description. Good complimentary photo followed by a heart touching message.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Thanks for the kind review.
Comment from Dawn Munro
What an extremely thoughtful and poignant free verse this is - the imagery is so vivid, and the sentiment one I'm sure many can identify, as most have experienced it. Beautiful poem! If I had a six left, it would be yours for this one, my friend.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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What an extremely thoughtful and poignant free verse this is - the imagery is so vivid, and the sentiment one I'm sure many can identify, as most have experienced it. Beautiful poem! If I had a six left, it would be yours for this one, my friend.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Thank you, Dawn, for the stellar review. I'll take a virtual.
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I only wish it could be real!!! You are so talented, my friend!
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Thank you, considering the source, I am so flattered.
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Now I am flattered. :) You are very welcome.
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. It reminds me of large family parties. I like the poem. It is so true. Families shrink. You less and less of the good china until it is not worth getting out. You go to the second best. The good silver stays stored. Great work. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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I love the picture. It reminds me of large family parties. I like the poem. It is so true. Families shrink. You less and less of the good china until it is not worth getting out. You go to the second best. The good silver stays stored. Great work. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Cariboubill
What a creative way of looking at the shrinking family. The words tell the story without actually saying it. "The second leaf is removed from the old pine table." Old folks die. Young ones go off to college, get married. Life is in constant flux. Makes me feel sad. Poetry should cause feelings and this one does.
...Bill
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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What a creative way of looking at the shrinking family. The words tell the story without actually saying it. "The second leaf is removed from the old pine table." Old folks die. Young ones go off to college, get married. Life is in constant flux. Makes me feel sad. Poetry should cause feelings and this one does.
...Bill
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much for the stellar review and the bonus star. I agree, poetry should elicit some kind of emotion, be it anger, sadness, love, or humor.
Comment from l.raven
This is a very well written poem...and as I get older...the settings at the table get less...and memories take over were life once was...a great write...picture perfect
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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This is a very well written poem...and as I get older...the settings at the table get less...and memories take over were life once was...a great write...picture perfect
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you for reviewing.
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you are so welcome...xxoo
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This free verse expresses in concrete terms the realization that a family is shrinking, in more than one way. Impermanence is inevitable, but the idea keeps hitting us as a shock. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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This free verse expresses in concrete terms the realization that a family is shrinking, in more than one way. Impermanence is inevitable, but the idea keeps hitting us as a shock. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from BeasPeas
I had decided not to award any more six stars, trying to hold some back for good writing and stretch them throughout the week. However, your poem is so good, so eloquent, so true--I'm breaking my six-star rule. Your piece touches the heart, especially as we grow older, and most of us can identify with your charming words. I simply cannot choose a favorite line, they are all so good.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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I had decided not to award any more six stars, trying to hold some back for good writing and stretch them throughout the week. However, your poem is so good, so eloquent, so true--I'm breaking my six-star rule. Your piece touches the heart, especially as we grow older, and most of us can identify with your charming words. I simply cannot choose a favorite line, they are all so good.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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I am really honored. Thanks so much or the stellar review and the bonus star. Glad you enjoyed. Loosing touch with family as they move away is one of the major losses of aging.
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Your touching poem got my vote.