~Medieval~
Vigilante makes it a point to take a bite out of crime...45 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow, Dean, this deserves a six for sure, and I have none left. What atmosphere you manage to create, right from the start, and man, your descriptions are fabulous, as are your characters - so believable! Just fabulous. Very, very well done, and polished to perfection, as far as I could tell - I was so absorbed in the story I might have missed the odd small edit though honestly!
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Wow, Dean, this deserves a six for sure, and I have none left. What atmosphere you manage to create, right from the start, and man, your descriptions are fabulous, as are your characters - so believable! Just fabulous. Very, very well done, and polished to perfection, as far as I could tell - I was so absorbed in the story I might have missed the odd small edit though honestly!
Comment Written 01-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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I'm so glad you took a gander at this one and shared your opinions with me concerning it, Dawn. I had my reservations about even posting it, given the...uh, um-m-m...tender subject matter. Overall, though, reviews have been pretty positive.
I'm really happy you liked this one. Thanks for a spectacular review!
Comment from c_lucas
Rape is a crime of control, making someone do what they don't want to do. This is very well written with a vivid flow of words. Good job.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Rape is a crime of control, making someone do what they don't want to do. This is very well written with a vivid flow of words. Good job.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much for weighing in on this one for me, Charlie. You're right, rape is more about control and domination than it is about sex.
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You're welcome, Dean. Charlie
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Bring it on..Bring it on!! It sounds like a fantastic device and it would put many a mother's mind at rest, I'm sure. Very absorbing piece, well written. Giddy
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Bring it on..Bring it on!! It sounds like a fantastic device and it would put many a mother's mind at rest, I'm sure. Very absorbing piece, well written. Giddy
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Thanks, Giddy, and I agree...bring it on! Any bastard who rapes a defenseless woman or young girl gets everything he's got comin' to him!
Thanks for the fantastic review, my friend.
Comment from Gungalo
Very good Dean and it sounds like a wonderful idea to keep from being raped. Let me know when it hits the states, will ya. What a thought.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Very good Dean and it sounds like a wonderful idea to keep from being raped. Let me know when it hits the states, will ya. What a thought.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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I doubt if it ever will, Gungalo. Too many bleeding hearts who worry more about the criminals that they do the victims. Of course, I can understand some of the trepidation. A jilted woman might get the idea into her head to use it against her cheating spouse or lover. Nah...that could never happen, right?
Thanks for reading this one for me, and for sharing your thoughts as well. Much appreciated!
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Nad never. LOL
Comment from JM daSilva
Yeah, I talked about this device some time ago. Truth is, if a guy is a rapist, I don't much care what happens to him. Great writing.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Yeah, I talked about this device some time ago. Truth is, if a guy is a rapist, I don't much care what happens to him. Great writing.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Hey, it's great to hear from you, JM! I'm also very glad you weighed in on this one for me and gave me your opinions. I agree with you, I could care less what happens to a rapist. We reap what we sow, and, in this case, with the rapex condom device, you rape, you need sowed.
I've missed your writing on here, my friend. Vincent is the best!
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I decided to write in third person because of some research I did. Dean Koontz, king, most novels are in third person and I know why now. So I'm rewriting the book in third person. I'll be here more often. I'll post Vincent backstories. Thanks, my friend.
Comment from lindalcreel
I think we have too many bleeding heart liberals to make it available here, but I'm all for allowing a girl a way to protect herself. Not all those raped are adults, and some of those young girls have their lives ruined. Not sure if this is the right answer, but the guy who had an experience with that, would definitely change his lifestyle.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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I think we have too many bleeding heart liberals to make it available here, but I'm all for allowing a girl a way to protect herself. Not all those raped are adults, and some of those young girls have their lives ruined. Not sure if this is the right answer, but the guy who had an experience with that, would definitely change his lifestyle.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Thanks for sharing your opinions with me on this story, Linda. I too believe it's a device whose time has come, but you're right. There are too many who'll cry foul. I wonder, sometimes, if more attention is spent worrying about the criminals than is spent caring about the victims.
Thanks for such a fabulous review. I really appreciate it!
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Always a pleasure.
Comment from alexgeorge
Dean manages to evoke thoughts of horror, in this tale where the descriptive passages read like poetry.
Dean builds up the suspense by hinting at a confrontation between the vigilante woman and Jimmy with his teeny pecker.
And a twist! Never saw that coming. So, Sam is Samantha.
A condom, that punishes rapists. Sounds like a plan. Good luck with the contest. Hope this wins.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Dean manages to evoke thoughts of horror, in this tale where the descriptive passages read like poetry.
Dean builds up the suspense by hinting at a confrontation between the vigilante woman and Jimmy with his teeny pecker.
And a twist! Never saw that coming. So, Sam is Samantha.
A condom, that punishes rapists. Sounds like a plan. Good luck with the contest. Hope this wins.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Thanks very much for giving me you valued opinions on this one, Alex. I'm happy to see that I got you with the "twist", heh heh. From a man's perspective, I couldn't think of a better topic for a horror story (at the time I was writing it) than a man getting his manhood mangled. Holy crap, that thing even scares the bejeezus outta me!
Thanks again, my friend. I appreciate it, very much!
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Yep, kinda scares me too. You're welcome.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hello Dean,
I'm glad I had a six left for this one. Very lengthy, but such a worthwhile read.
The poetic alliteration was a sparkling airy touch.
It's been too long - welcome back!
Sonali (Reach!)
But(comma not required) not tonight.
The suspect, (whose) name is being
your services were in high demand(,) you could pretty much set
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Hello Dean,
I'm glad I had a six left for this one. Very lengthy, but such a worthwhile read.
The poetic alliteration was a sparkling airy touch.
It's been too long - welcome back!
Sonali (Reach!)
But(comma not required) not tonight.
The suspect, (whose) name is being
your services were in high demand(,) you could pretty much set
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Hey, Reach! It's so great to hear from you again, dear friend!
I'm glad people have responded so positively to this story. I initially had reservations about posting it, due to the sensitive subject matter. Then I thought, 'what the heck, give it a shot'...so, I did!
I've made the edits based upon your suggestions. That's exactly the sort of feedback I needed.
Thanks so much again...for everything, Reach!
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You've been awfully quiet for sometime, Dean. I did review your last piece, you know ...:) Nice to have you back.
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Yes, and thank you. It's good to be back amongst such good people such as yourself.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Dean.Well, my friend..I think you have won another one. this is superb writing, Dean. Your images are very well portrayed:
"Bored by the topic of conversation, Sam let out an exasperated sigh, exhaling a putrid plume of yellowish cigarette smoke. ?A man's gotta' do what a man's gotta' do, Jimmy. Good luck with that. I gotta get goin'.?
And: "Jimmy wallowed in his sweat-soaked bedsheets like a tuna out of water, gasping for air. His massive, tattooed arms flailed out, pounding the nightmarish apparition's head that had latched onto his manhood. He awoke suddenly, covered in perspiration"
Suggestions: "clenched his meaty free hand in" (This doesn't read right for some reason, I would leave out "free"
And: A good way to prevent using the pronouns he or she to start too many sentrences is start off with a verb: For instance:
"She checked her supply of Rapex condoms before settling in to make herself a light breakfast. (Instead do this: Checking her supply of Rapex condoms, she settled in to make herself a light breakfast."
Great job overall, as you know, Dean. Bravo! Wish I had a six left. Bob ps. The artwork is aces.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Hi, Dean.Well, my friend..I think you have won another one. this is superb writing, Dean. Your images are very well portrayed:
"Bored by the topic of conversation, Sam let out an exasperated sigh, exhaling a putrid plume of yellowish cigarette smoke. ?A man's gotta' do what a man's gotta' do, Jimmy. Good luck with that. I gotta get goin'.?
And: "Jimmy wallowed in his sweat-soaked bedsheets like a tuna out of water, gasping for air. His massive, tattooed arms flailed out, pounding the nightmarish apparition's head that had latched onto his manhood. He awoke suddenly, covered in perspiration"
Suggestions: "clenched his meaty free hand in" (This doesn't read right for some reason, I would leave out "free"
And: A good way to prevent using the pronouns he or she to start too many sentrences is start off with a verb: For instance:
"She checked her supply of Rapex condoms before settling in to make herself a light breakfast. (Instead do this: Checking her supply of Rapex condoms, she settled in to make herself a light breakfast."
Great job overall, as you know, Dean. Bravo! Wish I had a six left. Bob ps. The artwork is aces.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Bob, and rest assured, I'll make those edits straight away. Yours is precisely the sort of feedback I needed. Do you think it too much of a stretch for a girl to masquerade as a man by day, and turn vigilante, rapist hunter by night?
I appreciate the fabulous review and suggestions.
Thanks again, my good friend!
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And...done, edits made!
I appreciate the input, Bob. Sincerely!
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No. I think anything is possible, Dean. clever idea, I think. Bob (It's all in the way it's presented of course.)
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Well, Bob, if you think so, then that's good enough for me!
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Don't sweat it. You are a cinch to win this one. Bob
Comment from Nomar Chagrin
This was downright spell-binding, Dean. Just the idea of such a device creates a profound dilemma. Prevention, punishment, vengeance, etc. It goes around and around and is hard to pin down a distinct answer. Maybe there is none.
But beyond references to that fascinating device, the story itself was mesmerizing. Chilling (I'm running out of those adjectives). You depict characters extremely well. Both visual and behavioral descriptions of all the characters had me immersed from start to finish.
I sort of agonized over the Rapex issue and, despite how the idea made me cringe (being a man and all), I think it's use is justified, at least if they could manufacture it in a manner that would guarantee it to be non-lethal. It's hard to think of it harming someone innocent, because the rape would have to already be occurring. I guess the exception would be a vindictive woman intentionally trying to harm a man, but that's a side issue.
Anyway, back to the story, I thought of another adjective: spine-tingling. I'm sort of at a loss for words here.
Keep 'em coming, Dean. And, for Christ sakes, submit this one somewhere.
~ Jack
(Not sure how much you care about ratings, but if you want a sixth star I could come back next week when I have one)
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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This was downright spell-binding, Dean. Just the idea of such a device creates a profound dilemma. Prevention, punishment, vengeance, etc. It goes around and around and is hard to pin down a distinct answer. Maybe there is none.
But beyond references to that fascinating device, the story itself was mesmerizing. Chilling (I'm running out of those adjectives). You depict characters extremely well. Both visual and behavioral descriptions of all the characters had me immersed from start to finish.
I sort of agonized over the Rapex issue and, despite how the idea made me cringe (being a man and all), I think it's use is justified, at least if they could manufacture it in a manner that would guarantee it to be non-lethal. It's hard to think of it harming someone innocent, because the rape would have to already be occurring. I guess the exception would be a vindictive woman intentionally trying to harm a man, but that's a side issue.
Anyway, back to the story, I thought of another adjective: spine-tingling. I'm sort of at a loss for words here.
Keep 'em coming, Dean. And, for Christ sakes, submit this one somewhere.
~ Jack
(Not sure how much you care about ratings, but if you want a sixth star I could come back next week when I have one)
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Thanks for your fabulous review, Capt'n, I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me on this one.
As far as sixes go, it doesn't bother me at all, my friend. My primary reason for being here is to receive--and give-- constructive critique, to be entertained, and to entertain those who care enough to read my work, as well.
I'm very happy that you do just that!