Senryu. Sorrow
One tear21 total reviews
Comment from Acquired Taste
Really well said and, I think, pretty emotional.
Taking ownership for causing whatever sorrow was experienced by another. Enough so, you want to capture a tear "mental picture" to remind you always - you were the reason.
AT=/
Really well said and, I think, pretty emotional.
Taking ownership for causing whatever sorrow was experienced by another. Enough so, you want to capture a tear "mental picture" to remind you always - you were the reason.
AT=/
Comment Written 26-Jan-2014
Comment from MagKing
Save me one sweet tear
So that I will remember
I was the reason.
I love this poem.
I will really like to know you after the contest.
And please do let me know if you won.
MagKing
Save me one sweet tear
So that I will remember
I was the reason.
I love this poem.
I will really like to know you after the contest.
And please do let me know if you won.
MagKing
Comment Written 26-Jan-2014
Comment from in777wr#
This was a well written poem. The poem flows, and reads well. Your 5-7-5 syllable count is in good order.
save me one sweet tear
so that I will remember
I was the reason
Nicely written.
This was a well written poem. The poem flows, and reads well. Your 5-7-5 syllable count is in good order.
save me one sweet tear
so that I will remember
I was the reason
Nicely written.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
Comment from Righteous Riter
save me one sweet tear
so that I will remember
I was the reason
Good complimentary photo. The syllable count is spot on. Good alliteration with save/sweet/so...will/was...remember/reason. Clear message that is short and simple.
save me one sweet tear
so that I will remember
I was the reason
Good complimentary photo. The syllable count is spot on. Good alliteration with save/sweet/so...will/was...remember/reason. Clear message that is short and simple.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this senryu poem about being worthy of a reminder. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.
this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this senryu poem about being worthy of a reminder. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
Comment from Glasstruth
We all want to matter, be remembered. Being a parent, the reward is children. Being single, you have to look deep to find it. Very nicely written. Les
We all want to matter, be remembered. Being a parent, the reward is children. Being single, you have to look deep to find it. Very nicely written. Les
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
Comment from goompa
This is a very sentimental and sensitive senryu, a type of poety of which I knew nothing until coming to Fanstory. Thanks for the poem and thanks for the education.
This is a very sentimental and sensitive senryu, a type of poety of which I knew nothing until coming to Fanstory. Thanks for the poem and thanks for the education.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
Comment from lakeport
Senryu sorrow, indeed that's a very emotional expressed Senryu poem. Thanks for sharing it,good luck at the contest. God bless you.Lakeport....
Senryu sorrow, indeed that's a very emotional expressed Senryu poem. Thanks for sharing it,good luck at the contest. God bless you.Lakeport....
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
Comment from padumachitta
Hello
a sad but well written senyu
the colour scheme works well as well as the picture
I wish you well in the contest.
May you be well
Hello
a sad but well written senyu
the colour scheme works well as well as the picture
I wish you well in the contest.
May you be well
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
Comment from Domino 2
Extremely sad, dramatic and poetically expressive.
Nice 's' alliteration and consonance.
All three lines flow together extremely well.
Good luck, Ted
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Extremely sad, dramatic and poetically expressive.
Nice 's' alliteration and consonance.
All three lines flow together extremely well.
Good luck, Ted
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014