Eight going On Eighty
60 word story22 total reviews
Comment from Smoothiecool
great picture choice
good luck in the contest
your words allow the reader to see the cries of Grandma thinking she is no longer needed but is told she is but the child is capable of crossing the street by self
cheers SC
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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great picture choice
good luck in the contest
your words allow the reader to see the cries of Grandma thinking she is no longer needed but is told she is but the child is capable of crossing the street by self
cheers SC
Comment Written 04-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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Mamas and grandmas are such wimps aren't we? Thanks for reading.
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welcome
Comment from RodG
I love the subtle tongue-in-cheek tone you have used here to characterize Grandma and her grandson. I know that I probably should take this event more seriously as it DOES happen in real life, but I prefer to see it as a scene in a TV sit-com like "Modern Family."
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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I love the subtle tongue-in-cheek tone you have used here to characterize Grandma and her grandson. I know that I probably should take this event more seriously as it DOES happen in real life, but I prefer to see it as a scene in a TV sit-com like "Modern Family."
Comment Written 04-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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Thanks, we do mourn our kids before they actually grow up and leave.
Comment from jmdg1954
"Sure I do," he yelled back over his shoulder. "But, Geeez, Grandma, I'm eight years old. I can cross the street by myself."
The title had me thinking before I even read the story...
Nicely done, John
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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"Sure I do," he yelled back over his shoulder. "But, Geeez, Grandma, I'm eight years old. I can cross the street by myself."
The title had me thinking before I even read the story...
Nicely done, John
Comment Written 04-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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Transference, the eight-year-old is the one with wisdom.
Comment from tfawcus
This plays with the reader's mind with subtlety. Expecting a broken love affair he is suddenly confronted by a child gaining independence! Nicely written!
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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This plays with the reader's mind with subtlety. Expecting a broken love affair he is suddenly confronted by a child gaining independence! Nicely written!
Comment Written 04-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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Thanks, a playful write.
Comment from Jackarrie
a very go od short story or a grandmother not wanting to let go of her little boy.
Well done and good luck in the contest Mary
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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a very go od short story or a grandmother not wanting to let go of her little boy.
Well done and good luck in the contest Mary
Comment Written 04-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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Her, mine is 39 and I still haven't let go. Thanks.
Comment from Val Crisson
Ok, I had to read this twice but I "got" it. Being a grandma, It saddens me the child has not Mom or Dad to take him to the bus stop. But maybe this is really a tale of today, where grand parents are raising grandchildren. None the less very nicely done.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014
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Ok, I had to read this twice but I "got" it. Being a grandma, It saddens me the child has not Mom or Dad to take him to the bus stop. But maybe this is really a tale of today, where grand parents are raising grandchildren. None the less very nicely done.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014
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Hey, after eight years everybody my have taken him to the bus stop, but sometimes Grandmas get to see things parents don't and that includes shucking off the need to be protected.
In my real world, this boy doesn't have a mommy.
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent. How many of us have felt this way? A lot--maybe without tears but perhaps with a quivering bottom lip? The scenario tugs at the heart and prompts the reader to identify.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014
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Excellent. How many of us have felt this way? A lot--maybe without tears but perhaps with a quivering bottom lip? The scenario tugs at the heart and prompts the reader to identify.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014
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It's a familiar story for every parent and grandparent--me too! My eight-year-old g/kid thinks its not cool to hug.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
ha ha - I particularly like this...
it's quite funny, but at the same
time, down-to-earth. Kids are
really like this after a certain
age.
My young grandson kisses and hugs me,
but won't do so if anyone is in sight.
good luck with the contest.
margaret
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014
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ha ha - I particularly like this...
it's quite funny, but at the same
time, down-to-earth. Kids are
really like this after a certain
age.
My young grandson kisses and hugs me,
but won't do so if anyone is in sight.
good luck with the contest.
margaret
Comment Written 03-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014
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My eight-year-old has taken to hugs under protest. "Not cool, Grandma." Thanks for reading.
Comment from tmor3735
To. For 60 words or under. You did a very nice work here.I am sure you have more on this story, I would like to see the whole peice.good Job...tom
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014
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To. For 60 words or under. You did a very nice work here.I am sure you have more on this story, I would like to see the whole peice.good Job...tom
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014
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Thanks for the read and review.
Comment from humpwhistle
I like your story--even if I do feel as if I've heard something in the same ilk before. And I wonder if you could boil the story down even more, make it more immediate:
Head buried in her hands, anguish breaking her heart, she looked up. At the sight of his back, she burst into tears again.
"You don't need me anymore," she wailed.
"Geez, Gram, I'm eight-years-old. I can cross a street."
I know this isn't your entire story, I'm just showing you ways to save words so you can add more important elements to your story.
Just suggestions.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014
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I like your story--even if I do feel as if I've heard something in the same ilk before. And I wonder if you could boil the story down even more, make it more immediate:
Head buried in her hands, anguish breaking her heart, she looked up. At the sight of his back, she burst into tears again.
"You don't need me anymore," she wailed.
"Geez, Gram, I'm eight-years-old. I can cross a street."
I know this isn't your entire story, I'm just showing you ways to save words so you can add more important elements to your story.
Just suggestions.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 03-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014
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Of course, you're right, but now that I've tweaked it, I'm pretty certain I'd need to share the prize money with my editor, in the remote chance that I might win. Thanks.
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Nonsense. This is the kind of thing that's suppose to happen here. Besides, me and the voters don't always agree--take that under advisement. Thanks for taking my thoughts positively. Not everyone does. Peace, Lee