To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "Mowing Balloons"Free Verse Poetry
16 total reviews
Comment from TAB_that's me
Certainly a unique concept Mike:) - mowing a field of water balloons? But I do like the part of lift off your head so someone could actually see what you are trying to say.
~teresa~
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Certainly a unique concept Mike:) - mowing a field of water balloons? But I do like the part of lift off your head so someone could actually see what you are trying to say.
~teresa~
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much. Just screaming out in frustration a little bit. ha! mikey
Comment from Sankey
More complexity huh Glad I have gotten (terrible American word) used to you.
Interesting bunch of verse. No spags.
Good work.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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More complexity huh Glad I have gotten (terrible American word) used to you.
Interesting bunch of verse. No spags.
Good work.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Ha! That is a terrible word now that you mention it! Glad you liked it. Just a bit of screaming at the sun I guess. mikey
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I forget are you in America or UK?
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America. Even worse, Calfornia. And even worse than that, Los Angeles. hahaha. Our speech is so lazy here that I have to re-learn English to get the count right in a sonnet. ha! mikey
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Shocking I know hehe. Now to my other question...hm?
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Sorry referring to later story in last comment
Comment from rama devi
Wow--now that is amazingly original. I find the closing two lines a stroke-of-genius-twist-in-tone. The conversational style works splendidly. Excellent crafting and sculpting of flow with line breaks and spaces. Very impressive free verse style and voicing. Fluid flow.
one spag
the mind(')s bedside vigil
This deserves six for that fantastic, unique, ironic metaphor. Great presentation too.
I've no sixes left. Sorry!
Warm smiles, rd
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Wow--now that is amazingly original. I find the closing two lines a stroke-of-genius-twist-in-tone. The conversational style works splendidly. Excellent crafting and sculpting of flow with line breaks and spaces. Very impressive free verse style and voicing. Fluid flow.
one spag
the mind(')s bedside vigil
This deserves six for that fantastic, unique, ironic metaphor. Great presentation too.
I've no sixes left. Sorry!
Warm smiles, rd
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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A virtual six along with wonderful words of praise will do just fine. I am delighted you liked my little piece. This is always my answer to writer's block. Just start writing and see what comes to you. More often than not it is something different. By the time you are halfway in, something has occurred to you. Thank you kindly sir, mikey
Comment from amanda98653
haha, Mike. I am not sure if you have some sort of intention there..but the last two lines form sarcasm.
A deep, meaningful poem.
Just something to bear in mind (a spelling mistake)
check your title again.
It should be "balloons" and not "baloons"
"a lawnmower mowing
a field of water balloons"
I find the image very intriguing.
Words flowing and pouring down
"words to sooth
and smooth
an aloe vera blanket
to cuddle in"
love the assonance in "sooth and "smooth"
to emphasize the warmth which the word "cuddle" conveys, perhaps?
"where is truth
in words measured
and chosen carefully
put in order
to please the ear'
A hint of rhetorical question in "where is truth"
that reminds me of something...
Questioning where truth is..some people tend to tell lies to "please the ear"
We all tell them. Sometimes, because we hope to entertain. Sometimes, because we need to distract..and sometimes, because we have to.
We question where truth is...and when someone is satisfied with the answer (even when it's a lie), they tend to accept it as the truth.
Just my own interpretation, Mikey:)
Hugs
Amanda
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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haha, Mike. I am not sure if you have some sort of intention there..but the last two lines form sarcasm.
A deep, meaningful poem.
Just something to bear in mind (a spelling mistake)
check your title again.
It should be "balloons" and not "baloons"
"a lawnmower mowing
a field of water balloons"
I find the image very intriguing.
Words flowing and pouring down
"words to sooth
and smooth
an aloe vera blanket
to cuddle in"
love the assonance in "sooth and "smooth"
to emphasize the warmth which the word "cuddle" conveys, perhaps?
"where is truth
in words measured
and chosen carefully
put in order
to please the ear'
A hint of rhetorical question in "where is truth"
that reminds me of something...
Questioning where truth is..some people tend to tell lies to "please the ear"
We all tell them. Sometimes, because we hope to entertain. Sometimes, because we need to distract..and sometimes, because we have to.
We question where truth is...and when someone is satisfied with the answer (even when it's a lie), they tend to accept it as the truth.
Just my own interpretation, Mikey:)
Hugs
Amanda
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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not again. I have done that before. hahaha. the little title space is teeny. "Like. What is with this dude? He can't even spell the title of his own poem man." Your interpretation is exactly correct. We choose are words so carefully when writing sometimes that it almost loses the real meaning of what we are really feeling. Gardens have weeds and bugs in them. Mowing water balloons is just an image of chaos referring to what is really in my brain as opposed to what I pick out to put on paper in a pretty and perfect way. What did you mean by the last two lines forming sarcasm? That went over my little head. hahaha. mikey
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it just sounds like it..hard to say why it's sarcasm.
I think it's your exclamation marks which convey a cutting expression.
" look at it!
for God's sake!"
Then everything comes down to
"I'm talkin' bout
a lawnmower mowing
a field of water balloons"
it's sudden and sharp..
just an impression.
(haha)
Amanda
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Oh! I see. I thought you were referring to just the last two lines specifically. Yes, it is sarcastic but, exasperated also. Kind of "Hey! Are you all crazy? This is nonsense. Look inside my brain. This is what is real. Chaos." ha! here come the men in white suits. "Amanda! Who are you talking to? One of those crazy poets again?" mikey
Comment from CR Delport
NO why on earth would you want to do that? :) This is one of those poems that can be interpret in so many ways and really needs an explanation from the poet :) It is well written though. Thanks for sharing.
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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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NO why on earth would you want to do that? :) This is one of those poems that can be interpret in so many ways and really needs an explanation from the poet :) It is well written though. Thanks for sharing.
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Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Well, just saying that there is so much going on in a writers head that sometimes writing it out in an orderly fashion doesn't really say what is really there. hahaha. something like that!! I am not always exactly sure.... mikey
Comment from reconciled
lol...man dude I love your writing....i'm sorry I didn't know....this is superb...yea buddy, cluttered attack makes for messy investigations. "a field of water balloons".....-smile- so good....alright got my eye you man love michael
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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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lol...man dude I love your writing....i'm sorry I didn't know....this is superb...yea buddy, cluttered attack makes for messy investigations. "a field of water balloons".....-smile- so good....alright got my eye you man love michael
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Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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cool. really glad you like this. kind of similar to what you wrote about. a cousin anyway. thank you very much for the kind words, mikey