Sewn Into the Sky
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "A Midnight Mosaic "Collection of Free Style Poetry
29 total reviews
Comment from R.Selvey
Bravo! This is surely a masterpiece. Such strong feelings,and drive. Your ability to show such compassion-and take it to another level,yet focus on your true feelings! You had the ability to carry me off,very controllably while I read each line,feel the compassion and yean for more! Brilliant write-your blessed!
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
  |
Bravo! This is surely a masterpiece. Such strong feelings,and drive. Your ability to show such compassion-and take it to another level,yet focus on your true feelings! You had the ability to carry me off,very controllably while I read each line,feel the compassion and yean for more! Brilliant write-your blessed!
Comment Written 26-May-2013
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
-
WOW, I am truly humbled. Truly. Thank you so very much. I am honored. I was hoping the message in the author notes came across well, hopefully they did for you. You are so very kind. So kind.
Comment from country ranch writer
LIKE SANDS THROUGH THE HOUR GLASS THESE ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIFE REMEMBER IN BOOKS AND JOURNALS AND POETRY FOR ALL TO SEE AND ENJOY.WE MUST MAKE TIME TO SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY ONES SELF EVEN IF IT JUST FOR A MOMENT IN TIME TO REFLECT BACK ON WHERE WE ARE GOING WITH OUR LIFE AND OUR FUTURE.IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE MAPPED OUT FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE IT JUST TAKES TIME AND PERSISTENCE.
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
|
LIKE SANDS THROUGH THE HOUR GLASS THESE ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIFE REMEMBER IN BOOKS AND JOURNALS AND POETRY FOR ALL TO SEE AND ENJOY.WE MUST MAKE TIME TO SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY ONES SELF EVEN IF IT JUST FOR A MOMENT IN TIME TO REFLECT BACK ON WHERE WE ARE GOING WITH OUR LIFE AND OUR FUTURE.IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE MAPPED OUT FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE IT JUST TAKES TIME AND PERSISTENCE.
Comment Written 26-May-2013
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
-
You are just a wonderfully insightful person! That is it EXACTLY! While you were reading I literally just put a line in the author's notes because I was afraid people wouldn't understand! Thank you so very much!
-
WELCOME
Comment from Eigle Rull
Wow! This piece was fantastic. It was so sharp and defined that it was a cinch to understand. There were no errors at all. The flow of the plot and the words was excellent. It held my attention very tightly. I enjoyed reading this piece.
Always with respect,
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
|
Wow! This piece was fantastic. It was so sharp and defined that it was a cinch to understand. There were no errors at all. The flow of the plot and the words was excellent. It held my attention very tightly. I enjoyed reading this piece.
Always with respect,
Comment Written 26-May-2013
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
-
Wow thank you very much. Sometimes people cannot understand the point I'm trying to convey. Appreciate the present, deviate from the norm. Thank you so much!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, gregory, you did an excellent job writing this blank verse, it's beautiful, filled with imagery. i don't know the rules for blank verse though. just being honest with you. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-May-2013
|
this is very well written, gregory, you did an excellent job writing this blank verse, it's beautiful, filled with imagery. i don't know the rules for blank verse though. just being honest with you. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-May-2013
reply by the author on 20-May-2013
-
Yes thank you! Blank verse has no set rhyme but follows a metrical format etc. (if that's the word). In this there are no set rhymes per se but it rather flows with a certain melody. I definitely hear what you are saying. Thank you so much!
Comment from simplyteresa
You've written a great diary formatted free style poem. It is so true that our children are taught too much conformity and not shown how to be out of the box thinkers and problem solvers. As a mom and former PTA president I fought many a battle against this, usually just to delay the inevitable because conformity is easier.
reply by the author on 20-May-2013
|
You've written a great diary formatted free style poem. It is so true that our children are taught too much conformity and not shown how to be out of the box thinkers and problem solvers. As a mom and former PTA president I fought many a battle against this, usually just to delay the inevitable because conformity is easier.
Comment Written 20-May-2013
reply by the author on 20-May-2013
-
Thank you! You are so right about the message. Hit it right on! Thank you!
Comment from DRG24
Wonderful free verse with nice expressions of feelings!!!!!!!! GREAT SIMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By the way, you profile picture w/ ur dogs is awesome :)
reply by the author on 19-May-2013
|
Wonderful free verse with nice expressions of feelings!!!!!!!! GREAT SIMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By the way, you profile picture w/ ur dogs is awesome :)
Comment Written 19-May-2013
reply by the author on 19-May-2013
-
Thank you very much! I'm so glad you liked it. Really that means so much to me, I appreciate it tremendously. Haha, I'm glad you like the picture. They are definitely drama queens. I fed them just fine ;)
I do very much appreciate your review. Thank you again, have a great day!
Comment from Sally Carter
Some fantastic images and metaphors here, plus profound thoughts about the burdens we pile upon ourselves.
However...
the reason for the 4 is that, with respect, this is not blank verse. I would class it rather as free verse.
Blank verse is written in meter, usually iambic pentameter, but without rhyme. This has a musical sound to it, but no regular meter that I can discern.
Kind regards
Sally
reply by the author on 19-May-2013
 |
Some fantastic images and metaphors here, plus profound thoughts about the burdens we pile upon ourselves.
However...
the reason for the 4 is that, with respect, this is not blank verse. I would class it rather as free verse.
Blank verse is written in meter, usually iambic pentameter, but without rhyme. This has a musical sound to it, but no regular meter that I can discern.
Kind regards
Sally
Comment Written 19-May-2013
reply by the author on 19-May-2013
-
Thank you for the review Sally! I appreciate you reading it. I can understand your comments too. Thank you for reading.
Comment from DBastian
You are quite the philosopher! And an artist ... certainly an artist's eye, which resides in the mind and just needs to be expressed in some way. I feel your mind contemplating, reaching for the perfect word that describes the situation. These are good words ... one way to describe emotion. We all have our styles. Choice of word, word order, sequence of words, poetic value ... each are very effective. I am just contemplating your style ... it certainly works. You did a great job.
Dave
reply by the author on 19-May-2013
|
You are quite the philosopher! And an artist ... certainly an artist's eye, which resides in the mind and just needs to be expressed in some way. I feel your mind contemplating, reaching for the perfect word that describes the situation. These are good words ... one way to describe emotion. We all have our styles. Choice of word, word order, sequence of words, poetic value ... each are very effective. I am just contemplating your style ... it certainly works. You did a great job.
Dave
Comment Written 19-May-2013
reply by the author on 19-May-2013
-
Thanks so much Dave. I actually have a flow I always use, though it can be subtle sometimes. It can be a bit different too. I try to write it as I am saying it in my mind. When read a certain way there is a strong rhythm. Thank you so much for reading Dave!
Comment from shanda lee
A beautiful interpretation by the writer in regards to the expectations of the generations of his family. The write painted a picture in which as the reader could understand. The only "Constructive Criticism" I suggest to the writer is his punctuality. Some sentences could be adjusted from (. and ,'s), placement could be better. Other than that I thought the writer did a Great Job!!!
~shanda lee~
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-May-2013
|
A beautiful interpretation by the writer in regards to the expectations of the generations of his family. The write painted a picture in which as the reader could understand. The only "Constructive Criticism" I suggest to the writer is his punctuality. Some sentences could be adjusted from (. and ,'s), placement could be better. Other than that I thought the writer did a Great Job!!!
~shanda lee~
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-May-2013
reply by the author on 18-May-2013
-
Thank you! That is true sometimes actually. Punctuation is difficult in my poetry as I want it flow and read a certain way. I often take liberties with that but I do understand what you mean.
-
If you could take a couple minutes to read a couple in my portfolio if you have a few mins that would be greatly appreciated. Choose which ever ones catch your eye. Thank-you...
~shanda lee~
Comment from Cry the Vile Rebel
This was a very thoughtful moment spent in gathering your thoughts and then considering their application in my own life. Thank you. I love that pause to connect. It doesn't always happen when I read a poem, but it happens often enough that I recognize the bit of magic when it does.
Good luck in the contest.
P.S. Do you suppose His paint brush may never dry out?
reply by the author on 19-May-2013
|
This was a very thoughtful moment spent in gathering your thoughts and then considering their application in my own life. Thank you. I love that pause to connect. It doesn't always happen when I read a poem, but it happens often enough that I recognize the bit of magic when it does.
Good luck in the contest.
P.S. Do you suppose His paint brush may never dry out?
Comment Written 18-May-2013
reply by the author on 19-May-2013
-
Thank you so much. I think it applies to many peoples' lives unfortunately. It's very hard to "slow down" and appreciate the moment. It is Very hard for me. As for his brush drying out? I think of it as God painting a new day with new experiences, new destinations, new dreams, new questions and new miracles to witness, but only if one slows down enough to appreciate them. So honestly, I do not know, but I surely hope it doesn't... :)
Thank you again, so much