Footsteps in the Snow
100 word contest19 total reviews
Comment from CALLAHANMR
This is a great horror story with so few words to work with. I did wonder though, does the fact that there were no footprints in the snow mean the murderer was already inside?
You seem to meet all the contest rules.
Good Luck!
Roger
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
  |
This is a great horror story with so few words to work with. I did wonder though, does the fact that there were no footprints in the snow mean the murderer was already inside?
You seem to meet all the contest rules.
Good Luck!
Roger
Comment Written 22-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
-
Exactly.. She saw the reflection in the mirror. He was behind her. I guess I wasn't to clear. John
Comment from BeasPeas
The start of a very interesting, mystery--but it fell apart for me when I tried to figure out what was going on. Was there really someone outside the slider or not? Were there any footprints in the snow or not? Was it her imagination working overtime or not?
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
 |
The start of a very interesting, mystery--but it fell apart for me when I tried to figure out what was going on. Was there really someone outside the slider or not? Were there any footprints in the snow or not? Was it her imagination working overtime or not?
Comment Written 22-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
-
She saw his reflection, not knowing he was already inside, behind her.
-
That was one possibility that occurred to me. The story was rather unclear on that and left this reader trying to figure out the ending.
Comment from Rondeno
Sheesh ... "edentulous". The cat can smile lecherously? The sight of the cat killed her? It's called "Footsteps", but there aren't any?
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
|
Sheesh ... "edentulous". The cat can smile lecherously? The sight of the cat killed her? It's called "Footsteps", but there aren't any?
Comment Written 22-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
-
You missed the entire story...
Comment from chromeangel33
I really enjoyed your story. It is very creative! I really enjoyed your line that says-a lecherous gleam with an endentious smile. Great descriptive words! Good luck
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
|
I really enjoyed your story. It is very creative! I really enjoyed your line that says-a lecherous gleam with an endentious smile. Great descriptive words! Good luck
Comment Written 22-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
-
Thanks so much. Not many others appreciated going out on a limb with an extended vocabulary .
Comment from robina1978
You used all the required words. It was very thrilling with a humorous twist at the end. Best wishes for the prompt. Not easy in so few words. I will look out for you in the prompt.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
|
You used all the required words. It was very thrilling with a humorous twist at the end. Best wishes for the prompt. Not easy in so few words. I will look out for you in the prompt.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
-
Thank you robina for the great review.
-
most welcome, Ine
Comment from October21
Great use of anti-climax
well done for using all of those words and for writing in such an entertaining way
loved the font
thanks!
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
|
Great use of anti-climax
well done for using all of those words and for writing in such an entertaining way
loved the font
thanks!
Comment Written 22-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
-
Thanks a bunch for the great review.
Comment from kcross11
with an edentulous smile - good for you for expanding your vocab, but this word really stuck out. For me, it interrupted the flow a bit.
Great work on your flash fiction! It's not easy to write, but you've done well here!
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
|
with an edentulous smile - good for you for expanding your vocab, but this word really stuck out. For me, it interrupted the flow a bit.
Great work on your flash fiction! It's not easy to write, but you've done well here!
Comment Written 22-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
-
Thanks kcross. I try to bring in new words as you said to expand my vocabulary and readers. I guess it doesn't always work for the best.
Comment from CR Delport
Very cleverly done. The writing is good and you heap up the suspension. You nailed the prompt. Well done and good luck for the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
|
Very cleverly done. The writing is good and you heap up the suspension. You nailed the prompt. Well done and good luck for the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
-
Thank you so much for the well thoughts and wishes. Much appreciated.
Comment from Scribbler67
A good atmospheric story, written within the specifications of the contest, and careful attention paid to SPaG.
I'd be a bit wary about such words as 'edentulous' in this type of story, as the intention may be lost on many readers. Those who recognise it as a zoological term may appreciate the oblique reference to the soon to be revealed toothless cat, but otherwise it's a bit of a curve-ball. Also, lecherous, while temporarily misleading, a bit of a red herring if you like, becomes inappropriate once the culprit is revealed. Hardly a term which could be applied to a cat.
Why did she gasp her 'last' breath? Has the experience given her a heart-attack?
Quite interesting and enjoyable once I'd sorted out the anbiguities.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
|
A good atmospheric story, written within the specifications of the contest, and careful attention paid to SPaG.
I'd be a bit wary about such words as 'edentulous' in this type of story, as the intention may be lost on many readers. Those who recognise it as a zoological term may appreciate the oblique reference to the soon to be revealed toothless cat, but otherwise it's a bit of a curve-ball. Also, lecherous, while temporarily misleading, a bit of a red herring if you like, becomes inappropriate once the culprit is revealed. Hardly a term which could be applied to a cat.
Why did she gasp her 'last' breath? Has the experience given her a heart-attack?
Quite interesting and enjoyable once I'd sorted out the anbiguities.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
-
Neither lecherous or edentulous apply to the cat. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.