Comment from dragonpoet

Good

This is a nicely rhymed story about being yourself and being persistent to you can continue your life after a mishap. It almost sounds like it could be a song.
In stanza ten you forgot to space between totown.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
dragonpoet

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021

Thanks for your good review

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Good

Hi Eric, have you noticed that the fourth lines vary in syllable count? And the eight syllables work much better, maintaining rhythm. I think the poem is too long for children, they get bored quickly, and would benefit by some cutting back. Nevertheless it's a cute story that you could maintain and please write more. Giddy

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2021

Comment from karenina

Excellent

I am as astounded by your 108 reviews... I see this is a relief from 2012? I somehow thought those were identified as such when reposting? What do I k mmm ow about such things!

An adorable poem for children 10 and under I'd guess. (Of course those who had it read to them.in 2012 may well be adult members on the site at 19! )

I'll have a look at your freebies on Kindle unlimited! It have a seven year old grandson who will love this one!

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2021

Comment from amahra

Excellent

This was a very cute story, one I'm sure my grandson would have loved. The artwork is stunning. And to think that you have a collection of these fine rhyming stories is wonderful.

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2021

Comment from Patty Palmer

Excellent

This is a cute limerick! It has a really great sing-song rhyme and rhythm going for it. I would think children would enjoy it, Reading it out loud made it more fun.
Patty

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021

Thanks for your excellent review

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Eric,

This is a cute little story in a poem and I hope you sell a million books. My favorite line of all was the part with the 'spun, spun, spun'. I know kids like repetition like that, too. Thanks!

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021

Thanks for the excellent review

Comment from Rosemary Everson1

Exceptional

Wow, this is a great poem. I can see Popeye when I read your poem. I can see him looking at his muscles after eating his spinach. Do you think these fellows were like Popeye, the Sailor Man?

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021

Absolutely? love you

Comment from Terry Broxson

Excellent

This is great! I do love it. I will go on Amazon Kindle Unlimited and download it. I think part of what we may try to do on this site is give some advice to improve the writing, I can not give you any help. good job.

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021

Thanks? I appreciate that? Not that I?m not open to criticism? Bees never explained to the flies with honey is better than shit ? I?m sure you?re a bee

Comment from kiwisteveh

Excellent

Hi, Eric.

I enjoyed the tale of Eric the Viking marooned in a modern city with parrot Petey. As appropriate it comes to a happy conclusion, although I have to say the ending came a little too easily perhaps.

As a rhyming poem for young children, the thing that worried me most about this piece is that the meter is uneven in places. Children at that age like both rhyme and a steady beat, For example, this line:
Eric sighed, then stopped, he turned around.
has little discernible rhythm.

One tiny typo to clear up - totown --> to town

Cheers

Steve

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021

? But my editor never makes any mistakes? it shows you how easy it was once they?ve built up the courage to do it? it?s like a punchline in a good joke you?ve built up tension built up tension and then boom one line well illustrate so much? You may have missed the punchline

Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)

Excellent

Loved this fun children's poem it was also entertaining to me as an adult! Well rhymed and consistent with a strong fun storyline well done this is super! Love Meia :)

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021

thank you