Steve's Poems for Kids
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Grampa says"A collection of my children's poems
21 total reviews
Comment from Twomoon
this poem was very well written, loved the grandpa says! Your voice was strong and the thought was great for kids to understand..enjoyed this read, full of movement and incredible rhythem xx twomoon
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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this poem was very well written, loved the grandpa says! Your voice was strong and the thought was great for kids to understand..enjoyed this read, full of movement and incredible rhythem xx twomoon
Comment Written 14-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Grampa says, 'Thank you.'
Comment from cinnamongirl
I just love this. What a great chldren's book this would be. Wouldn't it be great to go back in time when things were that simple? Great rhyming scheme and I like the images you portray.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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I just love this. What a great chldren's book this would be. Wouldn't it be great to go back in time when things were that simple? Great rhyming scheme and I like the images you portray.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Grampa says, 'Thank you.'
Comment from Hollyhock
Great kid's poem, strikes just the right balance between fun and making them think.
Good easy rhythm and steady rhyme making it all the more accessible for a child.
Straightforward vocabulary, good inclusion of "gooey" in the first stanza, it's a kid's "Hey, I know that word" moment and their attention is caught if it has not been already.
Children's poem, yes, but a lesson for us all.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Great kid's poem, strikes just the right balance between fun and making them think.
Good easy rhythm and steady rhyme making it all the more accessible for a child.
Straightforward vocabulary, good inclusion of "gooey" in the first stanza, it's a kid's "Hey, I know that word" moment and their attention is caught if it has not been already.
Children's poem, yes, but a lesson for us all.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Grampa says, 'Thank you.'
Comment from TammyGail
kiwisteveh Excellent weaving this verse for the contest and a great contest it was for the children - many adults can learn a bit from such as well - great use of imagery and excellent poem - best of luck in the contest - thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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kiwisteveh Excellent weaving this verse for the contest and a great contest it was for the children - many adults can learn a bit from such as well - great use of imagery and excellent poem - best of luck in the contest - thanks for sharing
Comment Written 14-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Grampa says, 'Thank you.'
Comment from adewpearl
Good use of rhyming couplets
excellent alliteration in crystal clear, gooey green
effective use of projecting into the future to a time people can't even live above ground any more because of how they've damaged the planet
I like that you have a cautionary tale that has enough humor that it's kid friendly, like the talk of taking trash to Mars :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Good use of rhyming couplets
excellent alliteration in crystal clear, gooey green
effective use of projecting into the future to a time people can't even live above ground any more because of how they've damaged the planet
I like that you have a cautionary tale that has enough humor that it's kid friendly, like the talk of taking trash to Mars :-) Brooke
Comment Written 14-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Grampa says, 'Thank you.'
Comment from Bindu Saxena
Excellent! It's so beautifully put from the mouth of a child.I would rather appreciate and admire the Font you have used.This font relates very well to the small children and by reading the poem, I really felt a child sitting before me telling me all this what his/her Grampa said.
However,I am not too happy with the picture appended as you could very well choose a picture of a kid as innocent as the verbatim sounds.I repeat, You did your job well!
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Excellent! It's so beautifully put from the mouth of a child.I would rather appreciate and admire the Font you have used.This font relates very well to the small children and by reading the poem, I really felt a child sitting before me telling me all this what his/her Grampa said.
However,I am not too happy with the picture appended as you could very well choose a picture of a kid as innocent as the verbatim sounds.I repeat, You did your job well!
Comment Written 14-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Grampa says, 'Thank you.'
Comment from riaeliza
Readability 5 (wonderful)
Syllable count 4 (slightly inconsistent)
Rhyming 5 (perfect)
Adorable! What a lovely little thing! It really hits the mark and tells a fantastic tale and lesson.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Readability 5 (wonderful)
Syllable count 4 (slightly inconsistent)
Rhyming 5 (perfect)
Adorable! What a lovely little thing! It really hits the mark and tells a fantastic tale and lesson.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Grampa says, 'Thank you.'
Comment from Earl of Oxford
Thanks for entering, Steve.
Maybe it's sometimes best not to have wonderful memories like Grampa, as then we won't be depressed at what we're missing.
On the other hand, his enlightening words are excellent to advise the stupidity of 'trashing' our surroundings.
Excellent ending to to depict Man's only alternative - to mess up somewhere else.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Thanks for entering, Steve.
Maybe it's sometimes best not to have wonderful memories like Grampa, as then we won't be depressed at what we're missing.
On the other hand, his enlightening words are excellent to advise the stupidity of 'trashing' our surroundings.
Excellent ending to to depict Man's only alternative - to mess up somewhere else.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 14-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Grampa says, 'Thank you.'
...and congratulations on your win!
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Thanks very much, Steve.
Comment from humpwhistle
Gee, I'm not sure I can understand this without Author's Notes.
Nicely done, Steve. You have a way with this sort of thing.
I like the use of 'Grampa says' to put things into perspective.
Best of luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Gee, I'm not sure I can understand this without Author's Notes.
Nicely done, Steve. You have a way with this sort of thing.
I like the use of 'Grampa says' to put things into perspective.
Best of luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 14-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Grampa says, 'Thank you.'
Comment from rama devi
Outstanding entry for this contest. Steve. It's bouncy, whimsical style is a stark poetic contrast to the shocking content...people living underground on a world with no trees, no seasons, no cars, no normal food, etc.
Clever and well conceived approach to this contest and a strong contender as my first choice. :)
The style is simple and suitable for children. Having it delivered as "what grandpa says' is brilliant!
GOod luck. Bravo.
Warmly, rd
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Outstanding entry for this contest. Steve. It's bouncy, whimsical style is a stark poetic contrast to the shocking content...people living underground on a world with no trees, no seasons, no cars, no normal food, etc.
Clever and well conceived approach to this contest and a strong contender as my first choice. :)
The style is simple and suitable for children. Having it delivered as "what grandpa says' is brilliant!
GOod luck. Bravo.
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Grampa says, 'Thank you.'