Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Inyang Moon "Murder Mystery
42 total reviews
Comment from JW
It takes a lot of energy for a ghost to make themselves visible to the human eye.
You did a great job in writing this chapter. Thanks for sharing it with us. JW
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2012
  |
It takes a lot of energy for a ghost to make themselves visible to the human eye.
You did a great job in writing this chapter. Thanks for sharing it with us. JW
Comment Written 17-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2012
-
Thanks so much, Jonathon. Your kind and generous review is very much appreciated! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from WLHall
Oh, this is very intriguing indeed. How scary. Great job of ending a chapter like this. Didn't see any spags, and the narration and dialogue flowed very well. Highly interesting story, I have been following it mostly. I probably missed some because my life is upside down right now with handling my dad's estate, but I will try to keep up best I can. I will read the next post for sure to find out about the mysterious man in the priest's house. Great job!
Wanda
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2012
|
Oh, this is very intriguing indeed. How scary. Great job of ending a chapter like this. Didn't see any spags, and the narration and dialogue flowed very well. Highly interesting story, I have been following it mostly. I probably missed some because my life is upside down right now with handling my dad's estate, but I will try to keep up best I can. I will read the next post for sure to find out about the mysterious man in the priest's house. Great job!
Wanda
Comment Written 16-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2012
-
Hi, Wanda. Thank you for your great insights and comments on my story. Hope it provided a bit of a diversion from your so-serious life right now. Is that situation going to be coming to an end soon?
Thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts,
Bev
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Oh, now this is getting SO good. Brilliant set up, Bev. How creepy, how scary, having that dark figure sitting in the chair. And he spoke, too! Wah!
So, now the sheriff has seen the entity. Can't wait to read the next.
Great post. I also really loved the interaction with the wee dog. Beautifully done. This really is quite the story you have going here.
Just a couple of itty bitty things to look at.
Ex()orcists always stood the risk of having the demon transfer from the possessed to themselves.
the Catholic Church only allowed ex()orcisms to be performed by its consecrated priests.
From his seat near the fire, its warmth dulled the edges of Brian's anxiety. - Bev, I'm not quite sure about this. It sounds to me like the seat is giving the warmth. What do you think?
Love ya lots. Er,remind me not to review your stuff at night anymore. LOL!
Av
xx
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
 |
Oh, now this is getting SO good. Brilliant set up, Bev. How creepy, how scary, having that dark figure sitting in the chair. And he spoke, too! Wah!
So, now the sheriff has seen the entity. Can't wait to read the next.
Great post. I also really loved the interaction with the wee dog. Beautifully done. This really is quite the story you have going here.
Just a couple of itty bitty things to look at.
Ex()orcists always stood the risk of having the demon transfer from the possessed to themselves.
the Catholic Church only allowed ex()orcisms to be performed by its consecrated priests.
From his seat near the fire, its warmth dulled the edges of Brian's anxiety. - Bev, I'm not quite sure about this. It sounds to me like the seat is giving the warmth. What do you think?
Love ya lots. Er,remind me not to review your stuff at night anymore. LOL!
Av
xx
Comment Written 16-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
-
Dear, Av. Thank you, my friend, for your beautiful and so-encouraging review. I really appreciate your continued interest in my story - means so much. And your generosity is so very heart-warming. I will change per your excellent suggestions.
Love ya, Bev
Comment from Connie C
Ohhhh, I like that this is getting pretty scary. I got chills just reading
about the fellow in the seat whose voice is bouncing off the walls and
has now disappeared. I got so caught up in your story that I neglected
to look for any spags; that's how good a storyteller you are, my friend!
I am truly enjoying this. Keep up the good work! Hugs, Connie
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
|
Ohhhh, I like that this is getting pretty scary. I got chills just reading
about the fellow in the seat whose voice is bouncing off the walls and
has now disappeared. I got so caught up in your story that I neglected
to look for any spags; that's how good a storyteller you are, my friend!
I am truly enjoying this. Keep up the good work! Hugs, Connie
Comment Written 16-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
-
Thank you so much, Connie. I had some help cleaning it up LOL. I really appreciate your generosity and support, my friend. Thanks for keeping up with story! Means a lot. Hugs, Bev
Comment from kashmayank
Nice story kept the tempo real high enjoyed reading it,the length o the story was perfect ,something which humans cant do should be left in hands o god
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
|
Nice story kept the tempo real high enjoyed reading it,the length o the story was perfect ,something which humans cant do should be left in hands o god
Comment Written 16-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
-
I agree with the latter, K. Humans are ill-prepared for such undertakings. That's why priests are required to fast and pray before tackling a demonic energy.
Thanks for your encouraging and generous review. Bev
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Great, spooky intrigue, Bev.
I'm glad the inspector has
seen the figure also...
perhaps now, if the priest
tells him about it, he will
take him seriously.
Loved the dogs part in this
also - a real character.
Clearly, it was colder in the study than [it was] in the hallway - might you consider losting the 2nd "it was"
Further, he believed - suggest..
Furthermore, he believed
honey-brown
A great chapter, my friend.
Margaret
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
|
Great, spooky intrigue, Bev.
I'm glad the inspector has
seen the figure also...
perhaps now, if the priest
tells him about it, he will
take him seriously.
Loved the dogs part in this
also - a real character.
Clearly, it was colder in the study than [it was] in the hallway - might you consider losting the 2nd "it was"
Further, he believed - suggest..
Furthermore, he believed
honey-brown
A great chapter, my friend.
Margaret
Comment Written 16-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
-
Hi, Margaret. Great suggestions! I really appreciate your help in trimming the excess. And your so-generous review is really encouraging, my friend. Thanks for caring. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from AprilShower
My goodness! What is going on? There is a man in the chair and then, there isn't. The murderer can't be a ghost. Was the chill caused by the haunting of this spirit person? Now this is quite a mystery, Bev. I am wondering why the priest is acting so mysteriously.
April
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
|
My goodness! What is going on? There is a man in the chair and then, there isn't. The murderer can't be a ghost. Was the chill caused by the haunting of this spirit person? Now this is quite a mystery, Bev. I am wondering why the priest is acting so mysteriously.
April
Comment Written 16-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
-
Hi, April. The loose threads will gradually make sense, I promise! I so appreciate your taking time to read my chapter. There's a lot of great stuff to choose from, so I'm always honored when someone takes time to read my writing. And your generous review is icing on the cake. Hugs, Bev
Comment from DALLAS01
I am really enjoying this read. You are building the suspense and molding mystery with each scene; from the detailed setting, to the underlying thoughts and emotions that are revealed through inner dialogue. The scent of sage burning in the fire place to reveal the fact that Tony Buday shares the aura of evil.
The revelation of the figure exposing himself to the sheriff is a great way to end the chapter.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
|
I am really enjoying this read. You are building the suspense and molding mystery with each scene; from the detailed setting, to the underlying thoughts and emotions that are revealed through inner dialogue. The scent of sage burning in the fire place to reveal the fact that Tony Buday shares the aura of evil.
The revelation of the figure exposing himself to the sheriff is a great way to end the chapter.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
-
Hi, Dallas. Thank you for your wonderfully encouraging and generous review. I am very honored that you continue to find my story interesting enough to follow. And by letting me know what you liked, I've got something to shoot for. So appreciate you! Warmest regards, Bev
-
You're welcome. I like the fact that the chapters are condensed to a one time sit down reading length.
-
Thank you. I get bored myself when things get too long. I appreciate the tip, Dallas! Xxx Bev
-
Have you noticed out brief may many articles are in magazines. They say that is because our attention span is not what it used to be.
-
Yes, I have noticed the same thing, Dallas. Yet, I know people that will stay up all night reading their favorite book. Go figure! :0)
-
Maybe they are two different types of readers: Magazine readers looking for information and readers of books for the pleasure of the written word.
-
I think that's more true than ever, Dallas. And a very astute observation, as well.
Comment from Joy Graham
Excellent story, Bev :) You gave me chills with that ending. You have me hooked. I will have to go to chapter 1 and catch up. Yours will be the third story I am catching up on. Your story is giving me ideas for my own story.
"tentative approach of Father's Brian's dog." - Father Brian's dog, maybe?
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
|
Excellent story, Bev :) You gave me chills with that ending. You have me hooked. I will have to go to chapter 1 and catch up. Yours will be the third story I am catching up on. Your story is giving me ideas for my own story.
"tentative approach of Father's Brian's dog." - Father Brian's dog, maybe?
Comment Written 16-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
-
Hi, Joy. Thank you for choosing to read and for your generous review. I really appreciate your catching the spaggie, too. Hugs, Bev
Comment from robina1978
Bev this could be a winning chapter. You told so well about how scared the priest got and then relaxed again. He smelled something, but saw nothing. But the sheriff did.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
|
Bev this could be a winning chapter. You told so well about how scared the priest got and then relaxed again. He smelled something, but saw nothing. But the sheriff did.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2012
-
Hi, Ine. Thank you for taking time to read and for your review. I appreciate it very much!
-
very welcome, Ine
-
:0) Bev