Wilderness
When will we stop fighting!21 total reviews
Comment from Just Alyx
The sad thing is we won't stop, Kat. Not in our lifetimes anyway. Strong poem to reflect the harshness. The intense sense of one doom after another was good, like bullets with a serious mission. Wars are always fought for money. We pay, the warmongers collect. I enjoyed the symolism of the camel for sustinance in stripped lands. I wonder if the future 'we' will grow bladders large enough to sustain on our burnt out planet. Probably. Mother Nature will decide for all of us ultimately. Strong acrostic and theme as an entry, ending on hopeful suggestions. Done well, and best of luck, mate. Been out lately? Alyx.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
The sad thing is we won't stop, Kat. Not in our lifetimes anyway. Strong poem to reflect the harshness. The intense sense of one doom after another was good, like bullets with a serious mission. Wars are always fought for money. We pay, the warmongers collect. I enjoyed the symolism of the camel for sustinance in stripped lands. I wonder if the future 'we' will grow bladders large enough to sustain on our burnt out planet. Probably. Mother Nature will decide for all of us ultimately. Strong acrostic and theme as an entry, ending on hopeful suggestions. Done well, and best of luck, mate. Been out lately? Alyx.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
Ka-boom no camel, no nuttin. Tanks for reading, no, hard for me to get out in electric chair. Cheers, K.
-
Sure, I understand that. Much easier if life was made more structurally accessible for you. Yep, Ka-boom.
-
Where abouts are you on the coast?
-
I'm on the lovely Sunshine Coast (cool and overcast in fits today; a relief from the heat), not far from Mooloolaba. You? PM if you like.
-
Maryborough, not far from Hervey Bay. We moved two years ago from Kingaroy. LOL.
Comment from Chris Tee
This is an absolutely wonderful acrostic poem that you have composed here ma'am. Well done and good luck in the contest.
I can only suggest you do not to centre the poem to emphasize the vertical letters and title in line.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
This is an absolutely wonderful acrostic poem that you have composed here ma'am. Well done and good luck in the contest.
I can only suggest you do not to centre the poem to emphasize the vertical letters and title in line.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
Tanka you Chris. I shall take it off centre. Blessings, K.
Comment from Mithma
Some of them purposely calling out for war. Why don't the enlightened people show them the way? Or are they too turn on the blind eye to more visible damage and call out for peace at the less vigourous things?
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
Some of them purposely calling out for war. Why don't the enlightened people show them the way? Or are they too turn on the blind eye to more visible damage and call out for peace at the less vigourous things?
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
Mithma, We live in darkness, wars were forcast; awaiting the return of Jesus now. Bless you, K.
Comment from MeagM
I think this is just so great. Great topic choice as well. First thing I'll say is I love what you said in your notes..."each theatre of war becomes a wilderness." Perfectly said, as well as the rest of what's written here!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
I think this is just so great. Great topic choice as well. First thing I'll say is I love what you said in your notes..."each theatre of war becomes a wilderness." Perfectly said, as well as the rest of what's written here!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
Thanks so much for reading, glad you liked the poem. Bless you, K.
Comment from Amy Comstock
Your poem paints a powerful picture. It is so sad what is happening....too often in too many places. Thank you for sharing this!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
Your poem paints a powerful picture. It is so sad what is happening....too often in too many places. Thank you for sharing this!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
Thank you for reading and not a great subject but one that is on our minds across the world. Blessings, K.
Comment from Carole Rosa
Aussie, This is an Eye opening piece that makes a person from a boring daily existence stop and remember the suffering. Very nice job. Carole
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
Aussie, This is an Eye opening piece that makes a person from a boring daily existence stop and remember the suffering. Very nice job. Carole
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
G'day Carole, Thank you for reading, not a nice subject, one that impacts on all of us. Blessings, Kace.
Comment from cthomsen
This is so profound. We just never have a true sense of what goes on in war. I like the line "landscaped by foreign hands." This is a very well written poem.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
This is so profound. We just never have a true sense of what goes on in war. I like the line "landscaped by foreign hands." This is a very well written poem.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
Thanks so much for reading, glad you appreciated the subject. Blessings, K.
Comment from ernesto escarro
Wilderness
The forest to see after war manifest.
Hatred is there, where thirst come instead of
water on the the barren land.
But all these in worthwhile respite
be resolve by handshakes between you and the foreign foe.
We come to earth not to destroy but to live.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
Wilderness
The forest to see after war manifest.
Hatred is there, where thirst come instead of
water on the the barren land.
But all these in worthwhile respite
be resolve by handshakes between you and the foreign foe.
We come to earth not to destroy but to live.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
Ernesto, Thank you for reading, we are waiting for Jesus to return. Bless you, K.
Comment from PoesyPoet
The acrostic was point on. War causes all kinds of destruction. My only nit would be that the picture of a healthy looking camel in its natural habitat is a contradiction of the poem suggestioning devastation and war. PP
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
The acrostic was point on. War causes all kinds of destruction. My only nit would be that the picture of a healthy looking camel in its natural habitat is a contradiction of the poem suggestioning devastation and war. PP
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
He was the only one I could find LOL. Thanks for reading.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, aussie, you did a great job writing this acrostic poem on the senselessness and damage of war, i enjoyed reading it and wish you the best of luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
this is very well written, aussie, you did a great job writing this acrostic poem on the senselessness and damage of war, i enjoyed reading it and wish you the best of luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
Thank you friend, not a great subject but one that impacts on the world. Blessings, K.