A Dollar For Dooley
Ghosts and gold26 total reviews
Comment from Dave M
Susan,
This is an excellent story of how a mountain reclaimed its gold. I enjoyed reading this post and found nothing to criticize.
Dave
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Susan,
This is an excellent story of how a mountain reclaimed its gold. I enjoyed reading this post and found nothing to criticize.
Dave
Comment Written 20-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Hi there!! More late thanks!! But most sincere! I am always happy to hear from you and wish you all the best in your writing too!! HUG! Susan
Comment from Sasha
This deserves a 6 but, alas, I am out so you have to settle for the thought. This is one of your best stories yet...and that's saying a lot. I love how you show not tell in all your stories. You really pull the reader into the story. I felt the tension as though I were experiencing it myself. Great work my friend.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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This deserves a 6 but, alas, I am out so you have to settle for the thought. This is one of your best stories yet...and that's saying a lot. I love how you show not tell in all your stories. You really pull the reader into the story. I felt the tension as though I were experiencing it myself. Great work my friend.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Hi Sasha! I just live for your enthusiastic reviews...thank you so much Smurph. Did I ever tell you that I called my beloved little dalmation Ladybug, Smurph? She LOVED it...For some reason, she always responded to that and would come and snuggle to us. OH how I miss her. If you haven't seen her already, try FanArt, a pix of her is in my port there...She died a few years ago at 14...you would have loved her...I'm off topic. SORRY. I send you a thousand thank you's for the kind wishes my friend. xoxo. Susan
Comment from Spitfire
I love your connection with animals. Well-developed characterization of both Dooley and Dobbs as we get into both of their heads. Excellent foreshadowing with the eerie lights and sounds all around. Poor Dobbs who lost his best friend as penance for his greed. A haunting story.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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I love your connection with animals. Well-developed characterization of both Dooley and Dobbs as we get into both of their heads. Excellent foreshadowing with the eerie lights and sounds all around. Poor Dobbs who lost his best friend as penance for his greed. A haunting story.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Hi there!! More late thanks!! But most sincere! I am always happy to hear from you and wish you all the best in your writing too!! HUG! Susan
Comment from Dingus-Maghee
THANK YOU FOR THE TREAT:
This is some of the best work I've ever read. Beautiful! Perfect! Charming with a mounting tension that kept this reader alive and on the look-out.
Your mixture of scenery descrption and story is masterfully done.
"Dooley white-eyed the shadows." I can see those wide eyes filled with alarm searching the night.
"Dooley saw and pinned his ears flat." Your ability to 'show' rather than 'tell', should be used as an education tool. It shows writers just how it's done.
"The Watchers." With this one phase you send our imagination's wild.
"The keyhole loomed. It, the entry door to the plateau was narrow,..." AMAZING! You've taken the word 'keyhole' which is something small, and mixed it with 'loomed', something huge. This description is a perfect fit.
Your writing is a work of art. No kidding! I'm flabergasted!
The Superstition Mountians and the Lost Dutchman Mine are some of the stories my grandpa told. My family moved to Arizona in 1860 when a 160 acers and a mule was more tempting than hearing an Apache war cry. I take my hat off to you, Realist 101. Your writing is HOT!
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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THANK YOU FOR THE TREAT:
This is some of the best work I've ever read. Beautiful! Perfect! Charming with a mounting tension that kept this reader alive and on the look-out.
Your mixture of scenery descrption and story is masterfully done.
"Dooley white-eyed the shadows." I can see those wide eyes filled with alarm searching the night.
"Dooley saw and pinned his ears flat." Your ability to 'show' rather than 'tell', should be used as an education tool. It shows writers just how it's done.
"The Watchers." With this one phase you send our imagination's wild.
"The keyhole loomed. It, the entry door to the plateau was narrow,..." AMAZING! You've taken the word 'keyhole' which is something small, and mixed it with 'loomed', something huge. This description is a perfect fit.
Your writing is a work of art. No kidding! I'm flabergasted!
The Superstition Mountians and the Lost Dutchman Mine are some of the stories my grandpa told. My family moved to Arizona in 1860 when a 160 acers and a mule was more tempting than hearing an Apache war cry. I take my hat off to you, Realist 101. Your writing is HOT!
Comment Written 20-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Hi Ding!! I am so thrilled. Literally...I like this story too and am just absolutely honored by your enthusiasm. What fun...that you really and truly enjoyed this...wow! HUG and smiles my friend...Susan
Comment from KathyH
Exceptionally well told story. You build great suspense with your vivid descriptions and attention to detail. Authentic feeling and very entertaining. Kathy.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Exceptionally well told story. You build great suspense with your vivid descriptions and attention to detail. Authentic feeling and very entertaining. Kathy.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Hi Kathy! Thank you very much!! Wow! SO glad you liked this, and I do apologize for this late note...Your review is wonderful. And so are you. :o) Susan
Comment from JW
In reading this well written story, it definitely seems like the donkey had a lot more sense then the old man. Thanks for sharing this. It does a good job of providing something to think about when analyzing one's own life. JW
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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In reading this well written story, it definitely seems like the donkey had a lot more sense then the old man. Thanks for sharing this. It does a good job of providing something to think about when analyzing one's own life. JW
Comment Written 20-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Hi there!! More late thanks!! But most sincere! I am always happy to hear from you and wish you all the best in your writing too!! HUG! Susan
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Susan,
I have been to the Superstition mountains and remember the story about the Dutchman. As always you have done an expert job in writing this story and I enjoyed every word. Your imagery gives me a perfect mind picture of Dooley and Dobbs. Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Hi Susan,
I have been to the Superstition mountains and remember the story about the Dutchman. As always you have done an expert job in writing this story and I enjoyed every word. Your imagery gives me a perfect mind picture of Dooley and Dobbs. Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 20-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Hi there!! More late thanks!! But most sincere! I am always happy to hear from you and wish you all the best in your writing too!! HUG! Susan
Comment from barkingdog
I don't know the tale of the Lost Dutchman. So I assume both he and the donkey disappeared that night as the Guardians refused to let their gold go past the keyhole.
It was very easy to picture all of this. Dooley was written very accurately and Dobb's accent added to his character. Dooley knew there was trouble, Dobbs didn't pay attention until it was too late.
Rather sad and very chilling, spooky. (Dark, with ravines to fall into --when he dropped the flask, I worried from than on that they be down there too.)
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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I don't know the tale of the Lost Dutchman. So I assume both he and the donkey disappeared that night as the Guardians refused to let their gold go past the keyhole.
It was very easy to picture all of this. Dooley was written very accurately and Dobb's accent added to his character. Dooley knew there was trouble, Dobbs didn't pay attention until it was too late.
Rather sad and very chilling, spooky. (Dark, with ravines to fall into --when he dropped the flask, I worried from than on that they be down there too.)
Comment Written 20-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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HI there!! Thank you SO Much, and I send many apologies for this late reply!! I am trying to catch up. LOL! Hugs for this really good review! Wow!! :o)) Susan
Comment from humpwhistle
The Guardians, huh? As plausible as anything else.
Not willing to give up their gold. I like Dobbs' monologue
and Dooley's thoughts. We've all seen this combination of old miner and burro enough times so we can see and hear the action. I hope you will write an account of the Lost Dutchman's Mine.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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The Guardians, huh? As plausible as anything else.
Not willing to give up their gold. I like Dobbs' monologue
and Dooley's thoughts. We've all seen this combination of old miner and burro enough times so we can see and hear the action. I hope you will write an account of the Lost Dutchman's Mine.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 20-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Hi Lee! I'm sorry for this late thank you! I just can't keep up anymore. Just so you enjoyed this...I had hoped you would. I'll revisit the Dutchman too someday! It'd be neat to actually go there! I'd just get lost and wind up a pile of bones! Thanks again Lee!! :o) Susan
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Suse, how old is this? I understand that you got behind. Please don't trouble yourself over old reviews from me. We're beyond that, right? There's no catch-up with me. We talk every day. Good enough. Lee
Comment from N.K. Wagner
You've built the tension nicely in this, Suse. I'm not sure about switching back and forth from Dooly's POV to the Dutchman's. You might want to tell it all from Dooly's viewpoint. A good story. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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You've built the tension nicely in this, Suse. I'm not sure about switching back and forth from Dooly's POV to the Dutchman's. You might want to tell it all from Dooly's viewpoint. A good story. :) Nancy
Comment Written 20-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Hi there!! More late thanks!! But most sincere! I am always happy to hear from you and wish you all the best in your writing too!! HUG! Susan