Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Chapter 12; part three"Can love survive small town gossip?
69 total reviews
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
I've got a bit of catching up to do. This was a nice smooth chapter, I'm glad cassie's home at last. The rainbow idea was a nice touch
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2010
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I've got a bit of catching up to do. This was a nice smooth chapter, I'm glad cassie's home at last. The rainbow idea was a nice touch
Comment Written 23-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. When I see a rainbow, I always think of hope.
Comment from popoet
No, I didn't have a chance to read the previous chapters; however, you write very well when it comes to creating very dramatic scenes where a lot of action is going on. There are many characters that don't get confused in the story. The dialogue lines are also well written. I enjoyed reading this.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2010
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No, I didn't have a chance to read the previous chapters; however, you write very well when it comes to creating very dramatic scenes where a lot of action is going on. There are many characters that don't get confused in the story. The dialogue lines are also well written. I enjoyed reading this.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2010
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are very welcome...keep writing
Comment from Realist101
Hi there Barb! This has a perfect combo of excitement and dialogue. This is so hard to do like this! I like that Cassie is okay. Your message of hope is great and conveyed in a realistic way too. I do dislike helicopters...and your mention of them is aggravating! LOL! ") I hear the darn things in my dreams. They actually beat the air with their rotors. Excellent chapter again Barbara! ") Luv, Susan
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2010
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Hi there Barb! This has a perfect combo of excitement and dialogue. This is so hard to do like this! I like that Cassie is okay. Your message of hope is great and conveyed in a realistic way too. I do dislike helicopters...and your mention of them is aggravating! LOL! ") I hear the darn things in my dreams. They actually beat the air with their rotors. Excellent chapter again Barbara! ") Luv, Susan
Comment Written 23-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your review and support.
Comment from felioness
I am glad I read the next chapter...I really am enjoying this tale! I found a couple of typos/ editing details. Great story!
the shortest slugged Joe's right jaw.
shortest what? Needs clarification
this sounds odd when you say "that" man. Do you mean the shortest man?
At the same moment, a bullet whizzed past him and hit that man.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2010
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I am glad I read the next chapter...I really am enjoying this tale! I found a couple of typos/ editing details. Great story!
the shortest slugged Joe's right jaw.
shortest what? Needs clarification
this sounds odd when you say "that" man. Do you mean the shortest man?
At the same moment, a bullet whizzed past him and hit that man.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2010
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I had man in that sentence and was told to take it out because I had too many 'man' in the that paragraph. I will add it. The same thing with that, I had shortest and was told to take it out for the same reason. Thank you.
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Her is an example of how you can rectify those problems:
The shorter one slugged Joe's right jaw. "I'm in charge. My first order's to kill you." He grabbed the knife from behind his belt, sliced Joe's left arm, then held it against Joe's throat.
The heavyset guy grabbed his arm. "You can't kill him. He's our ticket out of here." He yanked the knife from his partner's hand. "We need him alive for insurance."
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Thank you for your help. I will take care it immediately.
Comment from Jonez08
Oh WOW!!! How exciting Cassie has been rescued and I love the scene with Sarah and Joe. The love and tension is present, there's no denying their feelings now. Well done.
Cassandra
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2010
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Oh WOW!!! How exciting Cassie has been rescued and I love the scene with Sarah and Joe. The love and tension is present, there's no denying their feelings now. Well done.
Cassandra
Comment Written 22-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Joan E.
Congratulations on being in the home stretch with your novel. You certainly added to the tension with the arm slicing! I raced on to find out if the the rescue would be successful--this chapter read like a well-crafted screen play--I could visualize the scene easily.
I hope the complete bed rest does the trick and the New Year brings you continued recovery. May the holidays blanket you with cheer- Joan
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2010
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Congratulations on being in the home stretch with your novel. You certainly added to the tension with the arm slicing! I raced on to find out if the the rescue would be successful--this chapter read like a well-crafted screen play--I could visualize the scene easily.
I hope the complete bed rest does the trick and the New Year brings you continued recovery. May the holidays blanket you with cheer- Joan
Comment Written 22-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your well wishes. I appreciate the kind review and encouragement.
Comment from marcellawachtel
This was, of course, a most satisfying chapter. People's feelings are out in the open, there is a better perspective now overall. Excellent.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2010
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This was, of course, a most satisfying chapter. People's feelings are out in the open, there is a better perspective now overall. Excellent.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
This is another wonderful chapter, with wonderful news... I'm so happy that Joe was able to rescue Cassie and be able to get them both out of the house safely,
but, in the other hand I'm agree with doctor's prescription about taking time in bed, just to rest... Please, take good care of your self dear Barbara. We'll be waiting for you as long as you need time to recovery completely...
Many blessing and Merry Christmas!
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2010
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This is another wonderful chapter, with wonderful news... I'm so happy that Joe was able to rescue Cassie and be able to get them both out of the house safely,
but, in the other hand I'm agree with doctor's prescription about taking time in bed, just to rest... Please, take good care of your self dear Barbara. We'll be waiting for you as long as you need time to recovery completely...
Many blessing and Merry Christmas!
Comment Written 22-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your words of wisdom. I know you are correct, and I am learning to rest. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Fireshadow
Barbara, great write with clear descriptive narrative and strong, credible dialogue. Glad Cassie was finally rescued unharmed by Joe, and hope so are the other girls. Another strong installment in this very well penned story. Excellent work, my friend.
Ama
P.S. Hope you're taking your doctor's orders to rest seriously !
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2010
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Barbara, great write with clear descriptive narrative and strong, credible dialogue. Glad Cassie was finally rescued unharmed by Joe, and hope so are the other girls. Another strong installment in this very well penned story. Excellent work, my friend.
Ama
P.S. Hope you're taking your doctor's orders to rest seriously !
Comment Written 22-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2010
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I am learning to rest. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
Good rescue there, Joe certainly pulled off a small miracle, but now the other girls will be even harder to rescue I suspect.
Good ending to it, lightens the mood a littel, but keeps the dramatic tension.
Patrick
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2010
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Hi Barbara,
Good rescue there, Joe certainly pulled off a small miracle, but now the other girls will be even harder to rescue I suspect.
Good ending to it, lightens the mood a littel, but keeps the dramatic tension.
Patrick
Comment Written 22-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.