Funeral
a villanelle20 total reviews
Comment from honeytree
We see this type of situation often.
Emotions can be so different when someone dies.
We can cry or not cry.
True feelings of caring could be false.
We can not judge but God can.
The words written are very interesting to read.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2010
We see this type of situation often.
Emotions can be so different when someone dies.
We can cry or not cry.
True feelings of caring could be false.
We can not judge but God can.
The words written are very interesting to read.
Honey tree
Comment Written 12-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2010
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Thanks for an exceptional review; I am truly appreciative.
Comment from R. K. Alan
Remarkable and memorable. Loved the solemn message, the anguish and sorrow felt. Amazing bit or poetry bringing in a list of words and incorporating them into a rigid poetic form. Nicely done indeed. Ray aka Krylon
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
Remarkable and memorable. Loved the solemn message, the anguish and sorrow felt. Amazing bit or poetry bringing in a list of words and incorporating them into a rigid poetic form. Nicely done indeed. Ray aka Krylon
Comment Written 11-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
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Thanks for a great review. I am incredibly appreciative.
Comment from Joan E.
The nine required words disappear seamlessly into your poem of great pathos. I admired your rhymes and meter in this Villanelle form. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
The nine required words disappear seamlessly into your poem of great pathos. I admired your rhymes and meter in this Villanelle form. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
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Thank you for this excellent review and your good wishes.
Comment from Realist101
Hi Alvin, I am so glad you did not make the required words a different color or different font. I much prefer to have them blend into the piece. This is so sad. Too real. So many never forgive, even their own family members for disappointing them. I know. Excellent work, and I wish you the best in the contest too, Al. Susan
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
Hi Alvin, I am so glad you did not make the required words a different color or different font. I much prefer to have them blend into the piece. This is so sad. Too real. So many never forgive, even their own family members for disappointing them. I know. Excellent work, and I wish you the best in the contest too, Al. Susan
Comment Written 11-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
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Thanks for an excellent review and your good wishes. I thought about highlighting the required words and am glad I did not.
Comment from Shirley B
Dear Alvin, You make all poetic forms seem so easy. They flow so smoothly and with such grace. This poem made me hold my breath. It had so much raw emotion and pain. I think I have known too many pretend families in my life. Thank you for sharing this poem with us, Shirley
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
Dear Alvin, You make all poetic forms seem so easy. They flow so smoothly and with such grace. This poem made me hold my breath. It had so much raw emotion and pain. I think I have known too many pretend families in my life. Thank you for sharing this poem with us, Shirley
Comment Written 11-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
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You are more than kind, Shirley. Thank you so much for this exceptional review.
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
Hello Alvin,
The truth is sometimes chilling and your truthful poem had that effect on me. So sad when one denies their own heart and turns away from someone who needs their love and support. Though you broke my heart with this one, the fact remains that it is a well written poem which uses the chosen words naturally and effectively without sounding forced.
Hugs, W ^-^
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
Hello Alvin,
The truth is sometimes chilling and your truthful poem had that effect on me. So sad when one denies their own heart and turns away from someone who needs their love and support. Though you broke my heart with this one, the fact remains that it is a well written poem which uses the chosen words naturally and effectively without sounding forced.
Hugs, W ^-^
Comment Written 11-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
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Thanks for an excellent review. I know it is a very, very sad poem.
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
AH... Leave it to Alvin to take a difficult contest- (using all the words) and make it even MORE difficult, writing it as a villanelle! LOL and do it with absolute perfection! LOL- Very well done my friend- I loved this emotionaly piece. Thanks for sharing- Betty (best wishes in the contest)
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
AH... Leave it to Alvin to take a difficult contest- (using all the words) and make it even MORE difficult, writing it as a villanelle! LOL and do it with absolute perfection! LOL- Very well done my friend- I loved this emotionaly piece. Thanks for sharing- Betty (best wishes in the contest)
Comment Written 11-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
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I always try to challenge myself. I am gald it worked out well, at least this time! Thanks for a great review.
Comment from richard7
A great villanelle over a man put out of his (and their?) misery, the hell beneath the sky, his personal hell and the scorching sun, well written and the scenario is tragic in it's reality.
The alternating lines are fine!
Very nice to read a few times.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
A great villanelle over a man put out of his (and their?) misery, the hell beneath the sky, his personal hell and the scorching sun, well written and the scenario is tragic in it's reality.
The alternating lines are fine!
Very nice to read a few times.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
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Thanks for a great review. You are more than kind. I appreciate it ever so much.
Comment from Valkarie
This of course is a well penned piece from you the master, your poem is most visual and concise with that creative and expressive narration. Emotional and descriptive in tone and balance, your poem is well executed. With a most adequate word play which is so coherent and utilized your piece is well thought out and is most creative in vocabulary and thought.
Valkarie...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
This of course is a well penned piece from you the master, your poem is most visual and concise with that creative and expressive narration. Emotional and descriptive in tone and balance, your poem is well executed. With a most adequate word play which is so coherent and utilized your piece is well thought out and is most creative in vocabulary and thought.
Valkarie...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
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Thanks for an excellent and complimentary review.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Al,
This is a very accomplished poem and you wove the required words so cleverly that I didn't even notice them. I should attempt a Villanelle, they are so lovely when done right. I like the theme, the rhyme and even flow. You get my last six! Well done and good luck in the contest....chey
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
Hi Al,
This is a very accomplished poem and you wove the required words so cleverly that I didn't even notice them. I should attempt a Villanelle, they are so lovely when done right. I like the theme, the rhyme and even flow. You get my last six! Well done and good luck in the contest....chey
Comment Written 11-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
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Chey, you are more than kind. I was worried about this poem and you have reassured me. Thank you so much. I know I owe you some reviews; my FanStory time has been busy with class. I hope to have some time this week and, if not this week, next week to review your stunning work.
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I look forward to it, when you have time, I'll be here!