Turquoise Mountains
The People wept for rain31 total reviews
Comment from juliaSjames
I love the poetic rendition of the legend of the sacred turquoise. It reads as a power-filled chant. Very well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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I love the poetic rendition of the legend of the sacred turquoise. It reads as a power-filled chant. Very well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Hi Julia! Thank you so much! I am thrilled that you liked this effort, it's a fun one because we had leeway? Thanks again!! Susan
Comment from sgalletti
Fabulous rhyming couplets that build to tell a lovely story. Nice presentation with the turquoise background and art work. Best of luck in the contest. Sue
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Fabulous rhyming couplets that build to tell a lovely story. Nice presentation with the turquoise background and art work. Best of luck in the contest. Sue
Comment Written 16-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Hi Sue! Thank you so much! I am really happy to hear from you! ") And so glad you liked this one. ") Susan
Comment from missy98writer
Sue,
I'm impressed with your essay and this poem, wow. Your poem is beautifully written and poignant. Your art work is perfection. Cool title Turquoise Mountains. Excellent rhyme, wonderful narrative and great descriptive writing. Your words paint a vivid picture in the readers head. Effective use of alliteration and metaphors such as behold the Spirit,find and hold a precious love, save the one, held so dear, searing sun, it's heat too near, without the droplets, moisture fair, People parched, drying air, bring the clouds, held the rain, end the drought, caused the pain, as they wept, eyes did cry, fell from the sky, simple stone, healed the wounds, brought to them a brand new moon, courage all around, people sang, Mother thanks the Spirit show and wears with pride. I loved the story you poem told. You poem is an awesome entry in the writing prompt. I wish you great luck in the voting booth. So far you and two others are my front runners for this contest. Have a lovely day.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Sue,
I'm impressed with your essay and this poem, wow. Your poem is beautifully written and poignant. Your art work is perfection. Cool title Turquoise Mountains. Excellent rhyme, wonderful narrative and great descriptive writing. Your words paint a vivid picture in the readers head. Effective use of alliteration and metaphors such as behold the Spirit,find and hold a precious love, save the one, held so dear, searing sun, it's heat too near, without the droplets, moisture fair, People parched, drying air, bring the clouds, held the rain, end the drought, caused the pain, as they wept, eyes did cry, fell from the sky, simple stone, healed the wounds, brought to them a brand new moon, courage all around, people sang, Mother thanks the Spirit show and wears with pride. I loved the story you poem told. You poem is an awesome entry in the writing prompt. I wish you great luck in the voting booth. So far you and two others are my front runners for this contest. Have a lovely day.
Melissa.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Hi Melissa! Thank you very much! I love turquoise and our native people too. This was a fun one to do! And it's great to know you liked it. I had to work on it a lot! ") Happy Sunday to you Melissa! Susan
Comment from Fireshadow
Susan, this is a great entry for the A Real Gem Of A Poem !, and I'm sure that it will be a strong contender in the competition. It's wonderful how your writing describes in poem form the background (fictional?) behind the legend you include in your notes. Very well done - I really enjoyed this piece and wish you the best of luck in the contest, my friend.
Ama
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Susan, this is a great entry for the A Real Gem Of A Poem !, and I'm sure that it will be a strong contender in the competition. It's wonderful how your writing describes in poem form the background (fictional?) behind the legend you include in your notes. Very well done - I really enjoyed this piece and wish you the best of luck in the contest, my friend.
Ama
Comment Written 16-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Hi again Ama! Wow. What a great review. I love your enthusiasm and faithful time for me! I read about the legend and put it into my own words, adding the mother and son angle? It's so dry in the desert, it seemed to work. Thank you for this kind and welcome review Amaryllis! ") Luv, Susan
Comment from adewpearl
Susan, what a lovely legend you tell in this poem of strongly rhyming couplets. I especially like the near rhyme pairing of wound/moon. I also like the touch of alliteration, just enough to be effective without laying it on too thick. Good luck in the contest with this most thoughtful entry :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Susan, what a lovely legend you tell in this poem of strongly rhyming couplets. I especially like the near rhyme pairing of wound/moon. I also like the touch of alliteration, just enough to be effective without laying it on too thick. Good luck in the contest with this most thoughtful entry :-) Brooke
Comment Written 16-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Hi again! Thanks Brooke!! What a great review. I really tried, and thankfully we were able to use any form? I am having a lot of problems learning the Bell Ladder! ") Ha...but it's fun. SO good to hear you liked this one! ") Susan
Comment from AnnaLinda
Susan,
This is really an outstanding poem and entry for the contest! Just brilliant in every aspect. Your rhyming couplets work really well to convey that lore and your
poem has a melodic feel to it.
Your ending - as is your whole poem - is magical:
"The mother thanks, the Spirit shone,
She wears with pride, the skyblue stone"
Linda
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2010
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Susan,
This is really an outstanding poem and entry for the contest! Just brilliant in every aspect. Your rhyming couplets work really well to convey that lore and your
poem has a melodic feel to it.
Your ending - as is your whole poem - is magical:
"The mother thanks, the Spirit shone,
She wears with pride, the skyblue stone"
Linda
Comment Written 16-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2010
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Hi again! Thank you Linda! I'm happy you liked this, I am wondering if it's a little rough? I had to keep re-doing things. Thank you tho, this is a very kind and welcome review...Luv, Susan
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I think it is the best one - shhh!
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Well bless your heart. I hope you don't mean the movie! I cannot imagine. Luv you! Susan
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I will look at turquoise completely differently from now on. I always thought it was a beautiful stone, but now it's very special.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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I will look at turquoise completely differently from now on. I always thought it was a beautiful stone, but now it's very special.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thank you Barb! I am happy you like turquoise too! And for this lovely review! xoxo. Susan
Comment from sugardog
I LOVE this poem. How interesting!! I have never heard this legend before, and I love how you put it into poetry form with rhyme. Turquoise is one of my favorite gems-I have a ring I wear on my middle finger every day!! This really touched my heart and now gives turquoise a whole other meaning for me. "To bring the clouds that held the rain,to end the drought that caused the pain"-my favorite line!!! Thanks for sharing this sweet poem and good luck in the contest!! Dana
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2010
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I LOVE this poem. How interesting!! I have never heard this legend before, and I love how you put it into poetry form with rhyme. Turquoise is one of my favorite gems-I have a ring I wear on my middle finger every day!! This really touched my heart and now gives turquoise a whole other meaning for me. "To bring the clouds that held the rain,to end the drought that caused the pain"-my favorite line!!! Thanks for sharing this sweet poem and good luck in the contest!! Dana
Comment Written 16-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2010
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Hi Dana! thank you so much! I wish I had such a ring. But I am so used to NOT wearing jewelry, it would bug me. Thank you for letting me know your favorite line too, I tussled with all of it. Seems it's easier when it's not for a contest? Ha. Hope you are keeping warm! ") Luv, Susan, oh!! ps...I sent my son to the P.O. today! He will be back later! ") S.
Comment from BethShelby
This is a real gem of a poem with some interest legend thrown in as well. I didn't know Turquoise was called skystone by the Indians. I enjoyed reading this. Good luck in the comtest.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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This is a real gem of a poem with some interest legend thrown in as well. I didn't know Turquoise was called skystone by the Indians. I enjoyed reading this. Good luck in the comtest.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Hi Beth! Thank you! It's neat, and I had fun with this poem. Lovely picture I was so lucky to find. Thank you for reading this!! Smiles! Susan
Comment from c_lucas
In the early days, Turquoise was ground up and given to the sick to heal them. This is very well written with a smooth flow of wors.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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In the early days, Turquoise was ground up and given to the sick to heal them. This is very well written with a smooth flow of wors.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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") Ohhhh, seems this would make things worse? I would not want to eat stones? Interesting tho. Humans have come far in the meds dept...Thank you again, I did think of you, as I wrote this about your beautiful state! Susan
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You're welcome, Susan. Charlie