Goodbyes(part 2)
The end of my first short story19 total reviews
Comment from royowen
I think that smile revealed that someone had come to take her home, I heard of similar encounters, and the joy of music with a talented family of singers, well done Joan, an encouraging yet sad story, well done Joan, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
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I think that smile revealed that someone had come to take her home, I heard of similar encounters, and the joy of music with a talented family of singers, well done Joan, an encouraging yet sad story, well done Joan, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
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Thanks for reading and reviewing, Roy. Your comments are always appreciated.
Joan
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Most welcome
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Most welcome
Comment from Tom Horonzy
There must be more to he story, so why repost the last chapter? How long has it been?
I hear it to be true that folks married long will fade quickly when the other passes.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
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There must be more to he story, so why repost the last chapter? How long has it been?
I hear it to be true that folks married long will fade quickly when the other passes.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
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Hi Tom, I reposted the first part earlier in the week. So I reposted the end yesterday. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Joan
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Oops
Might have been when we were in the dark
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is very poignant. Many readers will be able to identify with your losses. This is very healthy grieving. Notice how they spend many hours reminiscing with each other about their father. I am sure they will grieve their mother in the same manner.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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This is very poignant. Many readers will be able to identify with your losses. This is very healthy grieving. Notice how they spend many hours reminiscing with each other about their father. I am sure they will grieve their mother in the same manner.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Thanks for reading and reviewing my story. I am glad you liked it and appreciate all the stars.
Happy Holidays.
Joan
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***Hugs***
Comment from Selera
this is excellent prose. Not my cup of tea bc it is Reality and I don't like reality no matter how you clothe it. The author writes in a style that is most appealing (like "Message in a Bottle" type of prose) It is realistic, convincing but most of all, it touches your heart. It deserved a 6 star rating ( If I was to change anything I would change to "never to open again" which gives the idea of intent to "never opened" but this is very minor. Congratulations!
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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this is excellent prose. Not my cup of tea bc it is Reality and I don't like reality no matter how you clothe it. The author writes in a style that is most appealing (like "Message in a Bottle" type of prose) It is realistic, convincing but most of all, it touches your heart. It deserved a 6 star rating ( If I was to change anything I would change to "never to open again" which gives the idea of intent to "never opened" but this is very minor. Congratulations!
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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I am very surpurised and appreciative of the 6 stars. This is the first short story I have ever written.
Joan
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You did it very well, magnificently.
Comment from BJean
I caught this last half and it is well written. I'm getting that she died shortly after her husband, correct? I love how it ended seeing all her friends and knowing that the family would see her again. My kind of ending. Nice story. Love, Jean
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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I caught this last half and it is well written. I'm getting that she died shortly after her husband, correct? I love how it ended seeing all her friends and knowing that the family would see her again. My kind of ending. Nice story. Love, Jean
Comment Written 03-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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Thanks for the time to read and reviw. I am glad you thought it was well written. This is my first short story. I am a poet
at heart.
Yes you are right. I am glad you liked the ending.
Joan
Comment from ZigzagMLT
This is a touching piece. I am sure that it took some energy to write. Good for you.
While it's almost there, I thought I'd share with you some of the thing I found.
at one end
Johnny died, when had celebrated many
would have mixed well with
would have sung
furniture had been updated
eyes, never to
Thanks for sharing such a powerful piece of writing.
Zigzagmlt
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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This is a touching piece. I am sure that it took some energy to write. Good for you.
While it's almost there, I thought I'd share with you some of the thing I found.
at one end
Johnny died, when had celebrated many
would have mixed well with
would have sung
furniture had been updated
eyes, never to
Thanks for sharing such a powerful piece of writing.
Zigzagmlt
Comment Written 03-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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Thanks for the review and the editiing help. This is my first short story and it was hard to write.
dragonpoet
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Don't let a little editing stop you from doing it again! Good luck! Z
Comment from Queenise
I really enjoyed this writing and thought it was very sweet and poignant. The family sitting around talking reminds me of my own. The passing of the Mom seemed so real and made me sad. A good story. Blessings. Queenise
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2009
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I really enjoyed this writing and thought it was very sweet and poignant. The family sitting around talking reminds me of my own. The passing of the Mom seemed so real and made me sad. A good story. Blessings. Queenise
Comment Written 15-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2009
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Thank you for the thourough review. I think I made all the changes. Sorry for all the mictakes. I am glad you enjoyed it.
dragonpoet
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You're welcome. Will review again. Blessings. Queenise
Comment from Trybuck
Other than a couple of typos, a very well written finish to the story. It's sad to watch one that you love slipping away little by little for real. Good job, Buck
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reply by the author on 16-Dec-2009
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Other than a couple of typos, a very well written finish to the story. It's sad to watch one that you love slipping away little by little for real. Good job, Buck
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2009
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Thanks for the high praise. I am glad you thought so much of it to give it 5 stars despite the errors.
dragonpoet
Comment from oldwaywmn
Like the first part, I really enjoyed the web you weaved. I could see myself in your shoes as you spent those last few moments with your Mom. There were many misspellings and punctuation mistakes in this half. Also, you used the wording "could OF" when it actally should be "could have" (unless you were trying to write it as many people do say it).
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2009
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Like the first part, I really enjoyed the web you weaved. I could see myself in your shoes as you spent those last few moments with your Mom. There were many misspellings and punctuation mistakes in this half. Also, you used the wording "could OF" when it actally should be "could have" (unless you were trying to write it as many people do say it).
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2009
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Thanks for the time it took to write this review. I have corrected the errors you found and some I found. Sorry about the mistakes. Please reread it and see if it is any better.
dragonpoet