Her secret
a short story about love for sale53 total reviews
Comment from r.voza
The body was violated but the stain did not touch her soul. She did not see, did not hear, did not feel anything when her body was invaded.
consider something else instead of saying she was "violated" and "invaded" because she is making this choice. had she been a rape victim, then violated and invaded are good, but not when it's her choice.
this is set up with her really craving honesty in his words. but by the end, she's a cold, calculating professional who is acting in a very business-like way. that seems contradictory.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
   |
The body was violated but the stain did not touch her soul. She did not see, did not hear, did not feel anything when her body was invaded.
consider something else instead of saying she was "violated" and "invaded" because she is making this choice. had she been a rape victim, then violated and invaded are good, but not when it's her choice.
this is set up with her really craving honesty in his words. but by the end, she's a cold, calculating professional who is acting in a very business-like way. that seems contradictory.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
-
rmvoza, thanks so much for reading and for the editing advise.
Comment from c_lucas
The life of a hooker is a dark despairing one. You have done a subperb job of capturing this in your well written story. Excellent job. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
|
The life of a hooker is a dark despairing one. You have done a subperb job of capturing this in your well written story. Excellent job. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
-
Thank you very much...your kind words and review are truly appreciated . The contest is over however:(
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Adri7enne
Well written, but so depressing! The entire story has such an aura of hopelessness and haunting sadness, I'm still trying to catch my breath. Well done, Apelle. I'll have to hurry and find an uplifting one or this will depress me all day. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
|
Well written, but so depressing! The entire story has such an aura of hopelessness and haunting sadness, I'm still trying to catch my breath. Well done, Apelle. I'll have to hurry and find an uplifting one or this will depress me all day. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
-
Thanks Adr7enne....sorry for the gloom and doom...hopefully you cheered up quick :)
Adina
Comment from summerhawk
I enjoy sex writings and all. This though didn't happen for me. It was as if you were holding back. I didn't feel the fire. It could be me though. I am tired so forgive please.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
|
I enjoy sex writings and all. This though didn't happen for me. It was as if you were holding back. I didn't feel the fire. It could be me though. I am tired so forgive please.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
-
thank you for reading it, this piece however is ;ittle about sex as much as it is about the tragedy of human's condition in certain contexts.
Comment from MJMuraco
You did an awesome job of connecting the reader with the character. Your descriptive imagery was done so well that I could truly picture this sad woman. I could feel the emptiness she feels. I think this work truly deserves six stars!
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
 |
You did an awesome job of connecting the reader with the character. Your descriptive imagery was done so well that I could truly picture this sad woman. I could feel the emptiness she feels. I think this work truly deserves six stars!
Comment Written 10-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
-
Thank you so much for your generous review and grading. I am delighted you liked my fiction :)
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi apelle...this is a well written story about what a prostitute must feel (or note feel) as she performs sex for pay. What an awful way to spend ones life. I am sure that many feel dead inside and trapped. I didn't find anything smutty about this write, in fact I found myself feeling sorry for the woman. Well done....good luck in the contest....blessings....chey
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
|
Hi apelle...this is a well written story about what a prostitute must feel (or note feel) as she performs sex for pay. What an awful way to spend ones life. I am sure that many feel dead inside and trapped. I didn't find anything smutty about this write, in fact I found myself feeling sorry for the woman. Well done....good luck in the contest....blessings....chey
Comment Written 10-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
-
Thank you , I am very happy you liked it, i had doubts about posting it...
Comment from Belinda
You made me see the other side of a woman. Very well written, Apelle, with a unique sensitivity and empathy for a woman in this sad position. I feel deep sympathy when she says: "To God, she is invisible. Less than invisible. He is filled with love for ants and moths, but has nothing for her." A good read.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
|
You made me see the other side of a woman. Very well written, Apelle, with a unique sensitivity and empathy for a woman in this sad position. I feel deep sympathy when she says: "To God, she is invisible. Less than invisible. He is filled with love for ants and moths, but has nothing for her." A good read.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
-
Thank you , I am very happy you liked it, i had doubts about posting it...
Comment from Southern Writer
The sadness and numbness of this woman was captured by your writing. I haven't read your work before, but will watch for it now.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
|
The sadness and numbness of this woman was captured by your writing. I haven't read your work before, but will watch for it now.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
-
thanks for commenting and for the kind review
Comment from mmichelle97219
I think you have met the challenge well. You have given us an insight to the girl and her current circumstances and make the reader interested in finding out more about her. her past, her future, those around her who allowed this to happen. I wish you the best of luck in the competition.
Michelle
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
|
I think you have met the challenge well. You have given us an insight to the girl and her current circumstances and make the reader interested in finding out more about her. her past, her future, those around her who allowed this to happen. I wish you the best of luck in the competition.
Michelle
Comment Written 10-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
-
Thank you , I am very happy you liked it, i had doubts about posting it...
Comment from Lastamen
She's lurking in the shadows - a woman of deep secrets and a darkness that can be felt. The author weaves a smoldering portrait of this mystery lady in a tastefully nasty way. Very good.
Till the last amen
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
|
She's lurking in the shadows - a woman of deep secrets and a darkness that can be felt. The author weaves a smoldering portrait of this mystery lady in a tastefully nasty way. Very good.
Till the last amen
Comment Written 10-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
-
Thank you , I am very happy you liked it, i had doubts about posting it...