Americana
no letter 's' in a fifty word story29 total reviews
Comment from Slush Pile
Overall, I understood the message in this piece although I did have a bumpy start with your opening line:
I found a trip back in time in my hometown.
I expect one can 'go on a trip', 'enjoy a trip', even 'win a trip'. But, to 'find a trip' confused me.
Good luck in the contest. Blessings always, Slush Pile
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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Overall, I understood the message in this piece although I did have a bumpy start with your opening line:
I found a trip back in time in my hometown.
I expect one can 'go on a trip', 'enjoy a trip', even 'win a trip'. But, to 'find a trip' confused me.
Good luck in the contest. Blessings always, Slush Pile
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Hello Slush Pile! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this contest entry. I'm so sorry the first line made you confused. Even though no one else mentioned the line being confusing, I agree with you and made a change. What do you think of the revision? Is it better or did I just make it more confusing? LOL
Thanks for your help.
Indy :>)
Comment from wierdgrace
so great, and so much of a poem for using the right words for the contest, no errors and no revisions. This is good, and I wish you lots of luck in the contest, I think I remember the 49er.....
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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so great, and so much of a poem for using the right words for the contest, no errors and no revisions. This is good, and I wish you lots of luck in the contest, I think I remember the 49er.....
Comment Written 09-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Hello Grace! Thank you for your review and as always, for your kind and encouraging comments. Do you remember MY 49er of drive-in movie theaters in general??
Smiles,
Indy :>)
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sort of, but dont tell anyone, I would like to pretend I am young, hahaha
Comment from c_lucas
A trip back in time by visiting your hometown is a good way to bring back memories. This is well written with good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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A trip back in time by visiting your hometown is a good way to bring back memories. This is well written with good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Thank you, Charlie, for looking this s-less shortie over and for taking the time to comment. I appreciate your review and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks!
Indy :>)
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You're welcome, Indy. Charlie
Comment from Carol D Parker
Did you really find one? Wow, would I love to go back to one near here that we uwed to go to with our toddler daughter in pj's and lots of stuff to eat. It's gone now. Your poem sure brought back memories of teen years too. Great subject matter, Excellent writing.
Good luck in the contest.
Delora
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Did you really find one? Wow, would I love to go back to one near here that we uwed to go to with our toddler daughter in pj's and lots of stuff to eat. It's gone now. Your poem sure brought back memories of teen years too. Great subject matter, Excellent writing.
Good luck in the contest.
Delora
Comment Written 09-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Thank you for your wonderful review and comments, Delora. The 49er drive-in is only a few miles from my house and it's always packed! It was closed for a long time, but a couple bought it who wanted to continue the nostalgic delight of watching movies under the stars with your family or a lover. It's such fun.
Indy :>)
Comment from Jnetgame
Great job on this entry. I bet it is pretty difficult to write without the letter "s" but you made it look easy. Nothing to change in this. Good luck.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Great job on this entry. I bet it is pretty difficult to write without the letter "s" but you made it look easy. Nothing to change in this. Good luck.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Thanks for your kind review, Jnetgame. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on this one.
Indy :>)
Comment from Allmine
This is a really good piece of flash fiction, all with no S! Great job at making us feel the nostalgia of a bygone era. Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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This is a really good piece of flash fiction, all with no S! Great job at making us feel the nostalgia of a bygone era. Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 09-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Thank you, Allmine, for taking the time to read and review. I do appreciate your comments.
Indy :>)
Comment from Jomo17
This is such a sweet nostalgic piece. It effectively elicits strong images of the hometown. Great imagary and descriptions. I enjoyed it. Lisa
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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This is such a sweet nostalgic piece. It effectively elicits strong images of the hometown. Great imagary and descriptions. I enjoyed it. Lisa
Comment Written 09-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Hello Lisa! Thank you for taking the time to read and review and I appreciate your kind comments.
Indy :>)
Comment from jclark
Excellent contest entry. )I may give this contest a try next time it comes up.) You make the story telling look easy and I particularly like the idea of rekindling an old memory. Haven't been to a drive in movie since I was a teen back in Michigan. Best of luck!
Judy
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Excellent contest entry. )I may give this contest a try next time it comes up.) You make the story telling look easy and I particularly like the idea of rekindling an old memory. Haven't been to a drive in movie since I was a teen back in Michigan. Best of luck!
Judy
Comment Written 09-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Hello Judy! Thanks for your kind review and ffor taking the time to comment on my entry. I think Michigan used to be one of the top states with their number of drive-in theaters...now, they only have around 10.
Thanks!
Indy :>)
Comment from rmdelta
Karyn,
what a wonderful story and a fantastic contest entry. Ahhh...drive-in movies--what memories I have from that period in my younger life so many years ago. Thanks for bringing them back again. I wish you the best of luck in the contest, my friend.
Reggie
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Karyn,
what a wonderful story and a fantastic contest entry. Ahhh...drive-in movies--what memories I have from that period in my younger life so many years ago. Thanks for bringing them back again. I wish you the best of luck in the contest, my friend.
Reggie
Comment Written 09-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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There used to be over 4000 drive-in theaters across the US, but sadly, they only nuber in the hundreds now. I feel pretty lucky to have one so close. Thanks for the review and for your comments, Reggie.
Indy :>)
Comment from starkat
Hi Indy,
Great job with this S-less 50 worder about your 49er drive-in as you bring the reader into this slice of Americana. We had many of these drive-in's in my area growing up, and they were fun to go to. There are still a couple of them that are going strong, though I haven't been to one since I was young. I remember a few moonlit nights and of course those speakers on cords we used to hang on the inside of the windshield.
Wishing you the best in this contest. You've got a real strong entry ...;)SK
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Hi Indy,
Great job with this S-less 50 worder about your 49er drive-in as you bring the reader into this slice of Americana. We had many of these drive-in's in my area growing up, and they were fun to go to. There are still a couple of them that are going strong, though I haven't been to one since I was young. I remember a few moonlit nights and of course those speakers on cords we used to hang on the inside of the windshield.
Wishing you the best in this contest. You've got a real strong entry ...;)SK
Comment Written 09-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2009
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Hello SK! Thank you for this great review and your wonderful comments.
There used to be over 4000 drive-in movie theaters across America, now they only number in the hundreds. The 49er was closed up for a long time until a couple bought it so they could bring back this great form of entertainment for more generations. They still have the window speakers, but you can get the sound from your car radio now which sure cuts down on the "what did he say??" questions. The 49er plays the National Anthem before the start and all the cars honk their horns when it's over. They still play the oldie cartoons like Woody Woodpecker and Chilly Willy, and durinbg the intermission, they run those oldie ads like for the mosquito coils as the hot dogs and the popcorn dance around announcing how many minutes are left before the second movie starts. I feel pretty lucky to have one so close.
Thanks, SK!
Indy :>)
