Beneath a Crescent Moon
a minute poem41 total reviews
Comment from earthlybeing
Great poem about fear and fighting depression. It is filled with the prayer for the Lord's guidance and a very moving poem. Thanks, Jeanette
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
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Great poem about fear and fighting depression. It is filled with the prayer for the Lord's guidance and a very moving poem. Thanks, Jeanette
Comment Written 01-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
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Thanks for a lovely review.
Comment from RapturedHeart
This is a very fitting poem for the time and age we live in, Alvin. You've strictly adhered to the iambic meter in a way that isn't taxing on the message. You've captured fearful unrest and uncertainty, and the picture seems to fit perfectly with the crescent moon and dark, deadly night. Well done!
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
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This is a very fitting poem for the time and age we live in, Alvin. You've strictly adhered to the iambic meter in a way that isn't taxing on the message. You've captured fearful unrest and uncertainty, and the picture seems to fit perfectly with the crescent moon and dark, deadly night. Well done!
Comment Written 01-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
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Thanks, especially, for the comment on meter, for that is my weak point. Thanks also for a good review.
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
An excellent poem full of clear and searching statements, Alvin. I especially liked the phrase, "insanity has tempted me." You have certainly captured an element of stark reality, and I appreciate this.
Best wishes for the contest.
Whizpurr ^-^
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2008
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An excellent poem full of clear and searching statements, Alvin. I especially liked the phrase, "insanity has tempted me." You have certainly captured an element of stark reality, and I appreciate this.
Best wishes for the contest.
Whizpurr ^-^
Comment Written 30-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2008
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Thanks. You truly understood what I wanted to "convey." Thanks again.
Comment from rama devi
Excellent work, Alvin, with flawless meter and meeting the strict requirements of this interesting form,
I like the musical fell of this form and may try one soon, but not beneath the crescent moon! LOL
"Take this away, oh God, I pray.
My feet are clay.'
I found this a very powerful phrase, illustrating the helpless feeling of being stuck in sin.
Wish you best of luck in the contest. This one is a winner.
Warm regards,
rama devi
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2008
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Excellent work, Alvin, with flawless meter and meeting the strict requirements of this interesting form,
I like the musical fell of this form and may try one soon, but not beneath the crescent moon! LOL
"Take this away, oh God, I pray.
My feet are clay.'
I found this a very powerful phrase, illustrating the helpless feeling of being stuck in sin.
Wish you best of luck in the contest. This one is a winner.
Warm regards,
rama devi
Comment Written 30-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2008
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Yes, you "caught" exactly what I was trying to convey. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from syndactl
I found this to be very well-done, Alvin. You followed the format to a T and constructed a well thought-out poem. Your rhymes were nicely done without impeding the thought-process.
I liked the Biblical allusion "my feet are clay" the "fatal flaw" adds interest to this poem...though I found it a little bit unclear. I couldn't tell if you were referencing insanity as the fatal flaw or as a symptom/side-effect. If the latter the poem was left a bit wanting, but if the former it fit very well. I just wasn't sure how you were using it.
That wasn't enough to knock off a star though. All-in-all a very solid piece. Well-done!
-syndactl
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2008
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I found this to be very well-done, Alvin. You followed the format to a T and constructed a well thought-out poem. Your rhymes were nicely done without impeding the thought-process.
I liked the Biblical allusion "my feet are clay" the "fatal flaw" adds interest to this poem...though I found it a little bit unclear. I couldn't tell if you were referencing insanity as the fatal flaw or as a symptom/side-effect. If the latter the poem was left a bit wanting, but if the former it fit very well. I just wasn't sure how you were using it.
That wasn't enough to knock off a star though. All-in-all a very solid piece. Well-done!
-syndactl
Comment Written 30-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2008
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I sometimes leave it up to the reader to decide on interpretation. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from Mischief's Momma
Thank you so much for the explanation of this form in your notes, I was not familiar with this form.
From your description it looks like you have met all the criteria except, as you point out in your notes, that the rhyme is not completely true - but i would venture to say it is close enough to allow for enjoyment of this well crafted poem.
I see no spags at all. Well done.
MM
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much for the explanation of this form in your notes, I was not familiar with this form.
From your description it looks like you have met all the criteria except, as you point out in your notes, that the rhyme is not completely true - but i would venture to say it is close enough to allow for enjoyment of this well crafted poem.
I see no spags at all. Well done.
MM
Comment Written 29-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2008
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Yes, oftentimes writers use slant rhymes to break up the monotony of all true rhymes. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from charissw
Very intense, very well said. Good luck in the contest. As a reviewer, I saw no SPAGs, etc. I think you have a great entry here. Blessings, Chariss
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2008
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Very intense, very well said. Good luck in the contest. As a reviewer, I saw no SPAGs, etc. I think you have a great entry here. Blessings, Chariss
Comment Written 29-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2008
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Thanks; I truly enjoyed writing this poem.
Comment from bard owl
What a frightful minute poem you have penned. How many of us have had dreams of running with feet of clay? Excellent imagery in this one. Best of luck in the contest. This is excellent. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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What a frightful minute poem you have penned. How many of us have had dreams of running with feet of clay? Excellent imagery in this one. Best of luck in the contest. This is excellent. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 29-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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Thank you for such a kind review.
Comment from storymama
Your poem is very thought provoking. We do mess up, live in fear and cry out to God to help us. Thank God He cares enough to listen and do so. I read your poem through twice and do not see any problems with it at all. God bless you.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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Your poem is very thought provoking. We do mess up, live in fear and cry out to God to help us. Thank God He cares enough to listen and do so. I read your poem through twice and do not see any problems with it at all. God bless you.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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You are always so kind. Thank you.
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You are very welcome. God bless you. Laura
Comment from Teri7
Al, This is a very good minute poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery also. God bless and good luck. Teri
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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Al, This is a very good minute poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery also. God bless and good luck. Teri
Comment Written 29-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
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Thanks for a good review.