Comment from Sleep

Excellent

Wow this must have taken you ages, not my style of poetry personally but I really do enjoy reading it when it is as well produced as this obviously is!

Regards,

Sleep...........

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2008

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reply by the author on 12-Mar-2008

I was writing it while I was listening to the game :) Thanks for a great review!

~Dovey

Comment from HalfHoff

Excellent

a very clever and well written entry for this contest indeed ... I truly enjoyed it ... it was very educational as well. Good luck at voting time! Lea Ann

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2008

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2008

Thanks Lea Ann! I appreciate your kind review! :) Kim

Comment from RossJM

Excellent

Very good poem, but really hard to read this kind of font. I suggest you change it to something simpler. It will not look as cool as it is now, but at least it will be readable.

Good luck, Dovey.

Ross

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2008

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2008

thanks for the suggestion and the great review Ross :)

Comment from ritter1116

Excellent

I know this must have been hard to write but fun! Anyway I love a poem that tells a story this one tells a good one. Are you going to write one on the outcome of the deciding game?
This was fun to read. good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2008

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2008

The deciding game is being played right this minute! :) I'm listening on the radio, as it's not being aired here. It's a definite possibility! I have one other in my portfolio that I wrote as an Acrostic tribute to the team, if you'd like to check that out. It's in my tribute book. Thanks for the great review! ~Dovey

Comment from smokyeye

Average

I think the work itself is dscriptiveand great as a sports pice. However, there are run-on sentences that can be combined and punctuated. Also, I think "xrays on muspratt... " does not add anything to the piece

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 Comment Written 09-Mar-2008

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2008

Thanks for taking the time to review this poem. As for the rest, the point was to follow the Abcedarian format. A-Z. In my case I chose it to be an exact rendition of the game as played. That part probably only makes sense to a Nanooks fan. :)

~Dovey

Comment from Judian James

Excellent

I know nothing about hockey ... nothing, but what I do know is, this is freakin' brilliant!! I could not be more impressed. It tells the story, it uses the entire alphabet, it rhymes and it makes perfect sense. A standing ovation for you!!

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2008

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2008

Wow! I just might have to frame this review! :) Thanks so much for your kind words Judian. I really appreciate you taking the time to review my entry. Kim

Comment from Just2Write

Excellent

Excellent Hockey game play by play. Loved it. The poem built the tempo nicely and there was good flow overall. I great contender for the abc contest.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2008

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2008

Thanks so much for your kind review 2Flower. :)

Comment from Josipher32

Excellent

This was a wonderfully written abcedarian poem.There was a good flow mostly due to the excellent rhyming scheme throughout.

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 Comment Written 09-Mar-2008

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2008

Thank you so much for the kind review. :)

Comment from AbigailDavid

Good

Hi, a sports lover, I am a big fan of cricket. My little brother and I would play it all school holidays.

I think the poem reads like prose. Are you sure you haven't got an essay percolating and waiting to be written, lol

I also found the work puncutated to confuse, you start every line with a cap, irrespective of whether ir requires one, because you are using commas also. I don't get that way of writing,

I would aim for consistency, if you are going to start every line with a cap, then it would be better if you kept the same thought/idea/image on the same line and forget all else. To use caps and then commas??? It is giving two differing punctuation cues. If you want to keep the commas, as you may want decided to do, because I don't think the ideas remain on the same line, then punctuate as you would for prose. It is quite a free verse, so it lends itself to that stylistic choice.

Other than than, just work on the art of eluding to, rather than stating, as poetry should elude with imagery more than state, otherwise it is losing the quality that makes it poetry.

Thanks for sharing your writing, Abby

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2008

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2008

I very much appreciate you taking the time to write such a lengthy review Abby. As for the capitalizations, it was only to emphasize the nature of the Abcedarian form of poetry. With the Abcedarian being steeped in ancient Hebrew literature, (you may want to check out the other entries in this contest for more clarification) this form also branched off into what is more widely known as Acrostic poetry. Acrostics are really my favorite, so trying an abcedarian for the first time was just a bit of fun, especially when I decided to choose hockey as my subject matter (it's not exactly a poetic sport. lol) Here is an excerpt from what I've found online about the Abcedarian and Acrostic forms:

A form derived from the abecedarian is the acrostic, which spells out names or words through the first letter of each line. The intent of the acrostic is to reveal while attempting to conceal within the poem. William Blake addresses the despairs of the plague in the poem "London," telling the reader how he listens to everyone?s pain while wandering along the Thames River. Blake uses an acrostic in the third stanza emphasize the horrifying sounds:

"How the Chimney-sweeper's cry
Every blackning Church appalls;
And the hapless Soldier's sigh
Runs in blood down Palace walls."

Abcedarian, of course, involves the entire alphabet, in order, rather than spelling out specific words. Ultimately though, I think poetry is written to reflect anything the author wants to evoke, imagery or not. :)
Thanks again for your nice review. I'll leave you with my new favorite quote:

"I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again." - Oscar Wilde

~Dovey