Comment from Pacinogal

Excellent

MRGRUNTY,

THIS IS A SAD SONG. I HAVE SUFFERED BRAIN AND BRAINSTEM

DAMAGES FROM GETTING REARENDED BY A TRUCK THAT WAS

LOOKING FOR HOUSE NUMBERS. I SUFFERED 2 WHIPLASHES.

I'D LIKE TO HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR NOT REMEMBERING, BUT A

LABOTOMY? I DON'T THINK SO. LOL GREAT PIECE.
PACINOGAL

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 14-Jun-2007

Hi there,
Thanks Pacino Gal
I appreciate the candour!
cheers
grant

reply by Pacinogal on 15-Jun-2007

Hello Grant, you're very welcome...it is well deserved.

Kathy
Pacinogal

Comment from Chgraphicurt

Excellent

Yeah, I can hear Tom Waits doing this. With the sad, wailing trumpet in the background and the strategically off-beat drums. yeah....

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 14-Jun-2007

Hey there again Drummergurl! LOL
Thanks for being able to use a bit of imaginizeration!! hehe
cheers
grant

Comment from LovnPeace

Excellent

I got a frontal lobotomy ...This stanza put a smile on my face...i gave myself a......................................................a..frontal lob...as i think guilt is a waste
it's bad for my memory
That's good for my guilt!


There's a smile that's inside of me .................................Amen
inspite of my enemy
I need it to live. ....................................Good song :+) L&P*

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 13-Jun-2007

hey there you!! Thanks for still believing!! haha
cheers
g

Comment from ScarletAffliction

Excellent

There's a fortress inside of me
to keep out my enemy
it's never been built!

I think it would be a great song, grant. It's nice to see you still come around these parts now and then! Continued success with the muse to you, darlin.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 13-Jun-2007

Thanks old chook!! LOL
Great to see ya.
cheers and beers
g

Comment from L K Pinaire

Excellent

The song is nice and short. I'm an old fart, so I don't know who Nick Cave is, but I'm familiar with Tom Waits. I enjoyed it, but I'd have to hear some music behind it, a melody.

Good writing,

Larry

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 13-Jun-2007

Hey there Larry
Glad you liked, and good to see familiar faces here still!
cheers mate
grant

Comment from becky7777

Excellent

Very nicely worded.
It flows very nice all the way through.
There's a smile that's inside of me
inspite of my enemy
I need it to live.
I really like this phrase. A smile inside makes everything okay.
Thanks for sharing
Becky

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 13-Jun-2007

Hi becky!
Good to see ya.
Cheers for the thoughts
grant

Comment from Aleksandramarie

Excellent

you know, I think I would put the first stanzaq at the begining do. two more, then
the chorus, two more, chorus, then the first...

It would balance it out...

and maybe even repeat the last again...

caught the rhythm,, but the third lines My foot and
mouth wanted to add one more...syllable..
thinking ...Tom Waits...

oh, needs major, mandolin plunkin in the background,

smiles, thanks, mspotter

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 13-Jun-2007

Hey there!
Great to see that it got you thinking!! LOL
The last lines of each stanza are meant to trail out and end clipped if that helps at all! LOL
cheers
grant

reply by Aleksandramarie on 13-Jun-2007

as to...beat fadeout...so the kerplunker/singer can stand their and
look quizzical...LOL..ok...got it

while the audience is left with their foot in the air...
one of those things that just can't be said on paper..

Gotcha... still would mess around a bit with the
arrangement,

yea, there are a few (of the old gang) straggling back here... some good stuff..
and ohhhhhhh soooooo much scholock, but then some of the
major schlockers are gone also...cheers, nice to see you to..

msp

Comment from denise_hinson

Excellent

HI mrgrunty
I like your song lyrics very much and I think you did a really good job of rhyming and I also like the colors that you used on the background., good combination.
I enjoyed reading this.

denise

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 13-Jun-2007

Hi Denise and Thank You for the great review!
Good to be appreciated from timew to time!! haha
cheers
Grant