The Boy Toy
A love story.29 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A wonderful story, skilfully expressed with some great character building in your dialogue. You set the scene well, drawing the reader into this interview which will delve into the background of this boy toy relationship (always likely to whet the appetite). Throughout the story, you cleverly manage to dispel any stereotypical assumptions so that, by the end, it's clear that this was, in fact, a love story from which both partners became "a dynamic unstoppable team." In fact, Jason grew up. Excellent twist at the end with the gay suggestion of "girl toy." A great job,Terry! Debbie
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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A wonderful story, skilfully expressed with some great character building in your dialogue. You set the scene well, drawing the reader into this interview which will delve into the background of this boy toy relationship (always likely to whet the appetite). Throughout the story, you cleverly manage to dispel any stereotypical assumptions so that, by the end, it's clear that this was, in fact, a love story from which both partners became "a dynamic unstoppable team." In fact, Jason grew up. Excellent twist at the end with the gay suggestion of "girl toy." A great job,Terry! Debbie
Comment Written 06-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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Debbie, thank you for the six-star review. I am delighted you got the story, just as I intended for the reader. Thank you so much. Terry.
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A pleasure, Terry! Well deserved.
Comment from T B Botts
Hi Terry,
this was an interesting story. Not at all what I might have expected. I guess I never really gave much thought to a French restaurant in Texas, it seems out of place, but then the times they are a changing, so I guess anything is possible. At the end of the story, was the reporter asking if Ashley is gay? I'm kind of thick I guess. Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Tom
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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Hi Terry,
this was an interesting story. Not at all what I might have expected. I guess I never really gave much thought to a French restaurant in Texas, it seems out of place, but then the times they are a changing, so I guess anything is possible. At the end of the story, was the reporter asking if Ashley is gay? I'm kind of thick I guess. Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Tom
Comment Written 06-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2023
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Tom, Your not thick. LOL. You have great insights. I have rewritten the ending a bit since you read it. The intent was to bring a little more and different scandalous thought to the proceedings. Thanks for reading and your review. Terry.
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Hello Terry,
I like the re-write. It's really an interesting story, as I would expect from you. Well done.
Comment from Jlr33063
You have the name "Henri" but then spell it Hendi, by accident, I would assume. But then you use Henry in the next paragraph.
"Jason, you're so typical." Feels like an out of place line. What makes it "typical" that he would ask who they're meeting with?
When Jason describes the restaurant, he sounds like he's never been there, but he's a loyal customer. Maybe describe the place through a narrators eyes rather than a character. Or, he could be admiring it from his many visits.
When Ashley tells Staci that she has this great story, but then it turns out that Ashley knew the kind of story it was all along, it creates a disconnect. Staci quickly becomes disinterested in the story and says she can sell it to Hallmark, which, is where the cheesy love stories tend to be that aren't realistic at all. It would be nice to see Staci have a head to take the story in another direction for a different audience. That would make her look better at her job.
The very end where Staci asks Ashley about having a Girl Toy... Was that to say that Ashley is into girls and not guys, and that's why she hasn't "married"? If that's what you were going for, that's what I got. It would be nice to explore that a little more, if you want to end it with something like that. On the same coin, it's supposed to be about Jason, the Boy Toy. Maybe he should have the realization instead of Staci?
Overall, I liked the story. It was something different. I liked that Jason made Staci understand that the relationship wasn't just about sex. It was companionship. That was nice ð??? You put a new spin on the term "Boy Toy" and made it less derogatory and more like a pet name, as Jason said.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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You have the name "Henri" but then spell it Hendi, by accident, I would assume. But then you use Henry in the next paragraph.
"Jason, you're so typical." Feels like an out of place line. What makes it "typical" that he would ask who they're meeting with?
When Jason describes the restaurant, he sounds like he's never been there, but he's a loyal customer. Maybe describe the place through a narrators eyes rather than a character. Or, he could be admiring it from his many visits.
When Ashley tells Staci that she has this great story, but then it turns out that Ashley knew the kind of story it was all along, it creates a disconnect. Staci quickly becomes disinterested in the story and says she can sell it to Hallmark, which, is where the cheesy love stories tend to be that aren't realistic at all. It would be nice to see Staci have a head to take the story in another direction for a different audience. That would make her look better at her job.
The very end where Staci asks Ashley about having a Girl Toy... Was that to say that Ashley is into girls and not guys, and that's why she hasn't "married"? If that's what you were going for, that's what I got. It would be nice to explore that a little more, if you want to end it with something like that. On the same coin, it's supposed to be about Jason, the Boy Toy. Maybe he should have the realization instead of Staci?
Overall, I liked the story. It was something different. I liked that Jason made Staci understand that the relationship wasn't just about sex. It was companionship. That was nice ð??? You put a new spin on the term "Boy Toy" and made it less derogatory and more like a pet name, as Jason said.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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Thanks for pointing out the typo. Terry.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Fourth paragraph, Henri, not Hendi.
So the "Henry" spelling is intentional, I assume, to show that he is a French fraud:-)
Staci Gatherings - I guess because she gathers interesting stories for The Times, lol!
He's right about the celery - a good alkaline to balance all the acid in our diets.
So, the real reason for calling on Staci to do the story and interview were so that Ashley could have a girl toy?
Interesting storyline and good dialogue, but I'm not sure I understand the point. Unless it was because she wanted Staci.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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Fourth paragraph, Henri, not Hendi.
So the "Henry" spelling is intentional, I assume, to show that he is a French fraud:-)
Staci Gatherings - I guess because she gathers interesting stories for The Times, lol!
He's right about the celery - a good alkaline to balance all the acid in our diets.
So, the real reason for calling on Staci to do the story and interview were so that Ashley could have a girl toy?
Interesting storyline and good dialogue, but I'm not sure I understand the point. Unless it was because she wanted Staci.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 05-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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Pam, thanks for reading. Terry.
Comment from GWHARGIS
You never disappoint. Another story where I was sitting at the table, wondering if Jason would notice if I stole one of those celery sticks. I liked all of the characters in this. I especially liked the way Ashley let Jason know she loves and respects him. Great story. Gretchen
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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You never disappoint. Another story where I was sitting at the table, wondering if Jason would notice if I stole one of those celery sticks. I liked all of the characters in this. I especially liked the way Ashley let Jason know she loves and respects him. Great story. Gretchen
Comment Written 05-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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Gretchen, thank you for the six-star review! I did have some fun with the characters as I wrote this. Terry.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Yikes. That wasn't the ending I was expecting, for sure.
I don't know, Terry. Is this the Texas Way-- to kind of bequeath boy toys to friends? No wonder so many people are moving there!!
Anyway, interesting premise. Here's a couple of spags to tend to:
** hint of a smile crosses Henri's lips.
"Hendi, I must say I like the new decor, crystal
and:
Smiles broadly. "I know how to pick 'em, don't I?" [Missing a subject before "Smiles."]
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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Yikes. That wasn't the ending I was expecting, for sure.
I don't know, Terry. Is this the Texas Way-- to kind of bequeath boy toys to friends? No wonder so many people are moving there!!
Anyway, interesting premise. Here's a couple of spags to tend to:
** hint of a smile crosses Henri's lips.
"Hendi, I must say I like the new decor, crystal
and:
Smiles broadly. "I know how to pick 'em, don't I?" [Missing a subject before "Smiles."]
Comment Written 05-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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Rachelle, yep, that's exactly how it works in Texas. Not that I have any first-hand experience. I only hear about it.
I got the subject corrected as per your suggestion, that was a result of some editing, and I missed the subject. Thank you.
I am not sure what you are trying to tell me about the first spag. If you can clarify, I'll take a look at correcting it too. Thank you. Terry.
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You spelled Henri "Hendi"
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Finally caught it, just couldn?t see it, thanks
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It's a fascinating phenomenona, isn't it? I do it all the time with my own work, too. It's RIGHT THERE, yet I miss it a thousand times...well, you know, until I post it, and then it becomes OH-so noticeable!!
Comment from nomi338
Now this is what I consider a gem of a story. It has everything; sex, money, music, dancing, reading, but most of all, surprise. You are reading along imagining all sorts of shocking hedonistic lifestyle practices. Then, wham, you discover a story full of heart, with a saucy tease at the end. Priceless.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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Now this is what I consider a gem of a story. It has everything; sex, money, music, dancing, reading, but most of all, surprise. You are reading along imagining all sorts of shocking hedonistic lifestyle practices. Then, wham, you discover a story full of heart, with a saucy tease at the end. Priceless.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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Nomi, thank you for your wonderful six star review! I am delighted you enjoyed the story. Terry.
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I found it very refreshing. Please give me more..
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is an interesting and creative story. I enjoyed reading. I do want to caution you about using thought. You have two thoughts in this story, and they are from different people. You can't change POV unless you notify your readers.
When She died, Forbes ranked it (lower case 's' on 'she')
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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This is an interesting and creative story. I enjoyed reading. I do want to caution you about using thought. You have two thoughts in this story, and they are from different people. You can't change POV unless you notify your readers.
When She died, Forbes ranked it (lower case 's' on 'she')
Comment Written 05-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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Barbara, I made the correction on the lower case. But I don't know about the two thoughts you mentioned. Can you expand on that, I would really like to see how I can do that right. Thank you very much. Terry.
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I sent you a PM. I hope it helps, if not let me know and I'll try to explain more.
Comment from prettybluebirds
This is quite a story. It held my interest from start to finish. Even though it is somewhat long for most FanStorians to read, I enjoyed it so much that I didn't really notice. You have done a marvelous job with the dialogue. Nice writing.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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This is quite a story. It held my interest from start to finish. Even though it is somewhat long for most FanStorians to read, I enjoyed it so much that I didn't really notice. You have done a marvelous job with the dialogue. Nice writing.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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Thank you very much. I knew it was getting long. But you know how stories sometimes keep writing themselves. Terry.
Comment from Ric Myworld
I was just wondering if you had to kick the manure off your boots before entering that establishment? LOL. Congratulations, Ranger fan! Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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I was just wondering if you had to kick the manure off your boots before entering that establishment? LOL. Congratulations, Ranger fan! Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2023
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Ric, Yes we did! LOL. Thank you for the six stars. I suspect you have been in a few joints like that. Terry.