An Early Morning Happenstance
An elderly couple meet in the park.18 total reviews
Comment from zanya
A lovely moment shared with an ever so slight hint of potential romance in the air- draws the reader in - unlike today's 'love stories' that seem to jump to conclusions so fast only to realise that love needs time to grow
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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A lovely moment shared with an ever so slight hint of potential romance in the air- draws the reader in - unlike today's 'love stories' that seem to jump to conclusions so fast only to realise that love needs time to grow
Comment Written 04-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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Zanya, I am so pleased you found my romance unlike most of today?s love stories. I really appreciate your comments and those six bright stars. Rod
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a lovely story of two people meeting just by chance and finding they enjoy being together. The speech sounds very natural and the way the story moves seems very possible. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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This is a lovely story of two people meeting just by chance and finding they enjoy being together. The speech sounds very natural and the way the story moves seems very possible. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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I really enjoyed writing this story, Carol, and I?m thrilled by your enthusiastic praise. Thank you also for the six-star bonus. Rod
Comment from Ric Myworld
Sometimes, even us old rough neck guys enjoy a little romance and you certainly have done this story well. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2023
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Sometimes, even us old rough neck guys enjoy a little romance and you certainly have done this story well. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2023
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Hi, Ric. A little Disney channel romance on a Sunday evening. So glad you enjoyed it. Many thanks for the kudos.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written and warm hearted story you have penned for the Unexpected Romance contest. You used great descriptive words and very good dialogue between the woman and man. I enjoyed reading it. Who knows, maybe you will make it into a story. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2023
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This is a very well written and warm hearted story you have penned for the Unexpected Romance contest. You used great descriptive words and very good dialogue between the woman and man. I enjoyed reading it. Who knows, maybe you will make it into a story. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 03-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2023
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Thank you, Teri, for sharing and praising my story.
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I loved this story. So sweet and made me think of my husband and I. We are getting older and sometimes we lean on each other! love and blessings, teri
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This little romance is skilfully crafted with your descriptive detail and fine dialogue. It fitted the brief perfectly by bringing two elderly, wobbly people together in this 'happenstance' way and yet making the whole meeting feel so natural and right. Small edit - "No your laugh's (is) like the song of a linnet." And I found "swept off her skirt" suggestive of taking off her skirt? But this is an excellent entry and I wish you good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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This little romance is skilfully crafted with your descriptive detail and fine dialogue. It fitted the brief perfectly by bringing two elderly, wobbly people together in this 'happenstance' way and yet making the whole meeting feel so natural and right. Small edit - "No your laugh's (is) like the song of a linnet." And I found "swept off her skirt" suggestive of taking off her skirt? But this is an excellent entry and I wish you good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 02-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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I am delighted you enjoyed my romance, Debbie, and I appreciate the heads-up about those errors. I fixed them.
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That's great. I was a bit worried that she might have been a bit more frisky than you intended:))
Comment from Lea Tonin1
How sweet is that it's truly lovely. Gave me a nice smile, thank you for that, keep it up.
Love when you're old, what a concept gives hope for us. Mature people, LOL.
A person needs to read something like this every once in a while. Given that slightly though very good job, thank you for submitting this. I very much enjoyed it, and good luck to you. Hope your evening is great!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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How sweet is that it's truly lovely. Gave me a nice smile, thank you for that, keep it up.
Love when you're old, what a concept gives hope for us. Mature people, LOL.
A person needs to read something like this every once in a while. Given that slightly though very good job, thank you for submitting this. I very much enjoyed it, and good luck to you. Hope your evening is great!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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I am delighted you enjoyed my senior romance. Older couples seek companionship mostly, and Reg and Clara found some in the park.
Comment from LisaMay
I haven't seen the word 'happenstance' used in a blue moon! You are clearly no Johnny-come-lately when it comes to crafting a well paced story that is a delight to read. Great word: 'wuffled'. I enjoyed the touches of humour in the easy dialogue as you rounded out the two characters.
I think the short sentences worked well.
I wish this encounter happened to me in the park... I like Reg.
A couple of comments:
''I dozed for awhile. A voice aroused me.''
Perhaps 'roused' is better than 'aroused'? Are you waking up, or being turned on?
No, (add comma here) your laugh's is (remove 'is') like the song of a linnet."
She rose, swept off her skirt, and grasped my right hand. (this is ambiguous... what did she do with her skirt? sounds like she took it off!)
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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I haven't seen the word 'happenstance' used in a blue moon! You are clearly no Johnny-come-lately when it comes to crafting a well paced story that is a delight to read. Great word: 'wuffled'. I enjoyed the touches of humour in the easy dialogue as you rounded out the two characters.
I think the short sentences worked well.
I wish this encounter happened to me in the park... I like Reg.
A couple of comments:
''I dozed for awhile. A voice aroused me.''
Perhaps 'roused' is better than 'aroused'? Are you waking up, or being turned on?
No, (add comma here) your laugh's is (remove 'is') like the song of a linnet."
She rose, swept off her skirt, and grasped my right hand. (this is ambiguous... what did she do with her skirt? sounds like she took it off!)
Comment Written 02-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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Hi, Lisa. I really appreciate your very close reading of my story and your excellent suggestions. I am especially pleased you like Reg and my word choices. Many thanks also for those six bright stars.
Comment from w.j.debi
What a sweet story. It looks like romance might be possible for this couple, or at least a sweet friendship for two people who can meet in the park and keep company.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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What a sweet story. It looks like romance might be possible for this couple, or at least a sweet friendship for two people who can meet in the park and keep company.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
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I am so pleased you enjoyed my story. Your remarks have caused me to think about using Reg and Clara in future stories.
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That is a good idea. They seem like they'd be a fun and interesting couple.