The Contours of Sparks
A mildly sci-fi, wildly erotic, slightly horrifying tale22 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
WOW!! This erotic entry is something else to read. You wrote a great and eerie erotic story. The first portion of your story was filled with so many details, one felt as if one were a voyeur and was actually watching. Masterfully, written descriptions. The latter part was eerie and a bit scary thinking that technology had evolved to the point that physical contact was computerized and experienced through earbuds. If I can make two suggestions, I think you should increase the font size a bit more to make reading easier for older readers. Secondly, remove the words, The End. It's not a book, and you could easily continue this story in another installment. The visual is also odd enough to fit the second half of your story well. I had to give you a six.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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WOW!! This erotic entry is something else to read. You wrote a great and eerie erotic story. The first portion of your story was filled with so many details, one felt as if one were a voyeur and was actually watching. Masterfully, written descriptions. The latter part was eerie and a bit scary thinking that technology had evolved to the point that physical contact was computerized and experienced through earbuds. If I can make two suggestions, I think you should increase the font size a bit more to make reading easier for older readers. Secondly, remove the words, The End. It's not a book, and you could easily continue this story in another installment. The visual is also odd enough to fit the second half of your story well. I had to give you a six.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Sandra :-). I very rarely write erotic scenes, so I was determined to make more of a plot out of it, and also not to make it too crude because that just ends up sounding funny to me. I'm thrilled you liked it so much!
I actually added THE END a little late after posting - the intentional cut-off at the end confused a couple of early readers, so I was trying to make it clear I hadn't just forgotten to write the rest, lol.
Thanks again for your awesome response - I was genuinely worried about posting something this graphic, but I've been reassured by the reviews.
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You are most welcome. I understand now about The End. You wrote the hell out of that erotic scene and deserved a six. I will vote for you because your piece is memorable.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent Erotic Tales contest entry.
You have a lot of intercorse ... lol. It's expected in erotica but it's nice to add more plot.
Your science fiction take with the app cyber sex is very unique.
I like the characters development.
Good ending Well done!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Excellent Erotic Tales contest entry.
You have a lot of intercorse ... lol. It's expected in erotica but it's nice to add more plot.
Your science fiction take with the app cyber sex is very unique.
I like the characters development.
Good ending Well done!
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Gypsy :-). This is a long way from my usual genre, but I thought I may as well go for it! I was determined to get in some plot with the sci-fi element and the tables turning on the PoV character's emotional state. I didn't want to just write a sex scene!
I really appreciate your great response.
Comment from Tpa
After reading this, I'm sure many people searched for the app. Kidding aside, the first part of your story was quite poetic, visual, captivating the reader into a fanasty, adding your clever response to technology and how it takes on the world in every form. GOOD LUCK INMTHE CONTEST.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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After reading this, I'm sure many people searched for the app. Kidding aside, the first part of your story was quite poetic, visual, captivating the reader into a fanasty, adding your clever response to technology and how it takes on the world in every form. GOOD LUCK INMTHE CONTEST.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Thank you :-). I don't write much erotic stuff but I wanted to avoid it being too blatant as that just starts to sound funny. So glad you liked it :-)
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Yes, I did, very much so I could feel what was going on while I was reading it! This is such a turn-on! I can't wait to read it again!
Such a sensual sensational feeling, I never want it to end!
Thanks for the thrill of a lifetime!
Jesse
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Yes, I did, very much so I could feel what was going on while I was reading it! This is such a turn-on! I can't wait to read it again!
Such a sensual sensational feeling, I never want it to end!
Thanks for the thrill of a lifetime!
Jesse
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Jesse. I'm thrilled it worked for you - thanks for the awesome response!
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It was exciting and thrilling to read!
I am looking forward to more of the same!
Jesse
Comment from John Ciarmello
Erotic and sensationally disturbing and scary that this could someday become the truth. Virtual sex is one thing, but the swapping of phones along with sexual sensation is a crazy thought. I wish you much success with the contest. This is imaginative and original. Best, JohnC.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Erotic and sensationally disturbing and scary that this could someday become the truth. Virtual sex is one thing, but the swapping of phones along with sexual sensation is a crazy thought. I wish you much success with the contest. This is imaginative and original. Best, JohnC.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Thanks, John :-). I didn't want to just write a sex scene, so I thought the sci-fi element would give it a bit more depth!
Comment from lancellot
Great work! Love the imagination here. I think the idea of feeling what the opposite sex feel during passionate love making has crossed many minds. Perhaps, one day technology will advance to the point we may "truly" find out. (but not like a virgin) I like how he panicked at the end. Funny stuff.
notes:
"Slow down," I said, gasping. "I'm gonna {squirt}."
- I recommend a different word here. Squirt has a specific meaning in adult material.
"We both watched the hack videos online, so we know {if} works.
-it
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Great work! Love the imagination here. I think the idea of feeling what the opposite sex feel during passionate love making has crossed many minds. Perhaps, one day technology will advance to the point we may "truly" find out. (but not like a virgin) I like how he panicked at the end. Funny stuff.
notes:
"Slow down," I said, gasping. "I'm gonna {squirt}."
- I recommend a different word here. Squirt has a specific meaning in adult material.
"We both watched the hack videos online, so we know {if} works.
-it
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much - for the great and helpful review, and for sponsoring the contest in the first place. I wanted it to be a raunchy, erotic sex scenario but also have a plot rather than just being a scene. So happy you liked it!
Comment from Donna G. (aka Sam Duck)
Well, wow! I don't even know how to react to erotica on FanStory! It certainly classifies as an 'Erotic Tale', and maybe even verbal porn. I liked it, and it made me blush. Then, there was the second part. Wow again. What an intriguing concept. I'm not sure I'd say technology went too far - but it didn't go far enough with the fail safe measures. If you ever have the means to bring such a machine to the world, please do... but make it not do that end thing. Hahaha Good work! And good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Well, wow! I don't even know how to react to erotica on FanStory! It certainly classifies as an 'Erotic Tale', and maybe even verbal porn. I liked it, and it made me blush. Then, there was the second part. Wow again. What an intriguing concept. I'm not sure I'd say technology went too far - but it didn't go far enough with the fail safe measures. If you ever have the means to bring such a machine to the world, please do... but make it not do that end thing. Hahaha Good work! And good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Donna :-). Erotica is definitely not my usual genre, but I did enjoy giving it a go for the contest! I'm glad you liked it, and I hope it was a good blush.
Comment from nomi338
This proves I think, that some tech is not for the week or the unready. If you are going to allow modern tech to play that big a role in your personal, erotic adventures, you had better damn know what you are doing. You may very well regret if you do not.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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This proves I think, that some tech is not for the week or the unready. If you are going to allow modern tech to play that big a role in your personal, erotic adventures, you had better damn know what you are doing. You may very well regret if you do not.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Thank you - I agree entirely, and I'm glad you enjoyed the read.
Mike
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Even though I quit smoking years ago I felt the need of a cigarette, that is until I read the last part. That gave me a frightful start.
Comment from Ric Myworld
It was hard for me to imagine who the hell could be writing with all this action going on, and who would care about saving the moments to share. LOL. Then, you took us to a completely different mindset. Outstanding from my perspective. I just wish I had a six. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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It was hard for me to imagine who the hell could be writing with all this action going on, and who would care about saving the moments to share. LOL. Then, you took us to a completely different mindset. Outstanding from my perspective. I just wish I had a six. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Ric :-). I don't write much steamy stuff so I needed to put the sci-fi thriller twist on it to make it feel purposeful. Thrilled you enjoyed it, my friend!
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Your sure do it well!
Comment from Goodadvicechan
I have never read anything like this piece going through in details how to enjoy a sensational and erotic fuck.
It is not honest if one doesn't feel something in their body while reading g this piece.
It must be personal experience to come up with such an erotic piece. Good luck to your contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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I have never read anything like this piece going through in details how to enjoy a sensational and erotic fuck.
It is not honest if one doesn't feel something in their body while reading g this piece.
It must be personal experience to come up with such an erotic piece. Good luck to your contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Thank you :-). I'm glad I caused a reaction - surely the point of a story like this!
Mike
