I Hereby Crown Thee ...
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Here We Go Again"A collection of crowns of sonnets
42 total reviews
Comment from estory
After an incident like Uvalde, emotions in everyone are running high, and I think you do a good job of airing what is on everyone's mind today. Society needs to figure this out. For one thing, I can say I no longer really believe in this obsession with freedom and personal liberty anymore. Freedom is only a space, it's what we do with it that really matters. We should all be thinking of our neighbors instead of ourselves. Jesus never talked about civil rights and freedom, he talked about being willing servants of each other, out of love. My own personal feeling is that in a society as diverse as ours is today, these issues will never be resolved. estory
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
  |
After an incident like Uvalde, emotions in everyone are running high, and I think you do a good job of airing what is on everyone's mind today. Society needs to figure this out. For one thing, I can say I no longer really believe in this obsession with freedom and personal liberty anymore. Freedom is only a space, it's what we do with it that really matters. We should all be thinking of our neighbors instead of ourselves. Jesus never talked about civil rights and freedom, he talked about being willing servants of each other, out of love. My own personal feeling is that in a society as diverse as ours is today, these issues will never be resolved. estory
Comment Written 28-May-2022
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
-
Thank you :-). I think it's important for people to feel free. But I also think the whole point of society is that we all agree to a set of restrictions and customs than benefit everyone. Otherwise, one person's freedom is another's nightmare. As you say, there's no answer, certainly not an easy one, which is why it's so frustrating when everyone presents their own pre-existing agenda as 'obviously right' - I just had to respond to them all :-).
Mike
Comment from Sarah Tummey
It was clever - the way you started each poem with the last line from the previous one, and ended the piece with the opening line. I liked the corporate one about making sure they've done enough/ticked the right boxes, when really they're still in their comfy seats. I wasn't so much of a fan of "Spirituality" because I believe in Jesus and that He counts me a friend, and I don't suppose anyone likes to hear one of their friends called a clown.
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
|
It was clever - the way you started each poem with the last line from the previous one, and ended the piece with the opening line. I liked the corporate one about making sure they've done enough/ticked the right boxes, when really they're still in their comfy seats. I wasn't so much of a fan of "Spirituality" because I believe in Jesus and that He counts me a friend, and I don't suppose anyone likes to hear one of their friends called a clown.
Comment Written 28-May-2022
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
-
It's certainly never my intention to upset anyone - only start a conversation. Hence, I aimed a sonnet at each theme of response I've seen to the shooting (including my own). My hope is that everyone can collaborate to stop such things happening, rather than believing their way is the only way to fix things. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response.
Mike
Comment from Boogienights
This is amazing, it held me in thrall. Your observations are on point and I agree with so many of them. What has happened to those children is horrific, it must not happen again. I would have given you 10 stars if I could.
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
 |
This is amazing, it held me in thrall. Your observations are on point and I agree with so many of them. What has happened to those children is horrific, it must not happen again. I would have given you 10 stars if I could.
Comment Written 28-May-2022
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
-
If only people could let go of their own agenda and accept that everyone needs to pitch in, perhaps there might be a solution found, but who knows :-). Thanks so much for the awesome review!
Mike
Comment from tfawcus
A fine crown of sonnets. It's a while since I've seen one so well handled. The frequent enjambment helps to drive the narrative forward and you have some clever ways of disguising the repetition, as in 'cause without guns and Cause: Without guns,
Your outrage is made all the more effective by being tempered with satire.
The rest of the world looks on with disbelief.
It goes without saying that I think this is worthy of a sixth star.
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
|
A fine crown of sonnets. It's a while since I've seen one so well handled. The frequent enjambment helps to drive the narrative forward and you have some clever ways of disguising the repetition, as in 'cause without guns and Cause: Without guns,
Your outrage is made all the more effective by being tempered with satire.
The rest of the world looks on with disbelief.
It goes without saying that I think this is worthy of a sixth star.
Comment Written 28-May-2022
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
-
Thank you! I think half the fun of a form like this is seeing whether you can change the meaning of the repeated lines with each use. Of course, the subject matter isn't fun at all, but with a bit of humour, we can say things that might cause too much offence otherwise, which would distract from the point. Thanks for the great review:-).
Mike
Comment from dmt1967
This is a great poem and I agree but think guns are not the problem, people are the problem. A man or child that has hate and the urge to kill will do it, even if there are no guns in the world, they will find a way. Thank you for sharing and take care.
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
|
This is a great poem and I agree but think guns are not the problem, people are the problem. A man or child that has hate and the urge to kill will do it, even if there are no guns in the world, they will find a way. Thank you for sharing and take care.
Comment Written 28-May-2022
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
-
Thank you :-). I do actually agree with you. Whilst I think if guns were harder to come by, it would reduce the lethality of these incidents, I also think they'd carry on happening, just with different weaponry. The reality, for me, is that lots of measures need to be taken, and both sides of the political spectrum need to invest in a shared solution instead of taking the opportunity to score points from one another. It's the posturing that annoys me!
Mike
Comment from Averil Drummond
Amazing really. All those sonnets and that clever thing (whose name I have forgotten) starting the next with the last line of the previous verse. Plus you have obviously produced it so quickly after the last school shooting. Let us all hope the USA finally does something about this horrible situation. An Australian like me, or an English person would make the family in line 1 verse 3 'broken', that would give you the extra syllable you need. 'Turn each lesson into a war zone' doesn't scan and is a bit below standard. Plus a couple of other bits, but still a very impressive. Congratulations.
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
|
Amazing really. All those sonnets and that clever thing (whose name I have forgotten) starting the next with the last line of the previous verse. Plus you have obviously produced it so quickly after the last school shooting. Let us all hope the USA finally does something about this horrible situation. An Australian like me, or an English person would make the family in line 1 verse 3 'broken', that would give you the extra syllable you need. 'Turn each lesson into a war zone' doesn't scan and is a bit below standard. Plus a couple of other bits, but still a very impressive. Congratulations.
Comment Written 28-May-2022
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
-
Thanks Averil :-). It was initially broken, but then the Americans (i'm from UK) were stumbling on those lines, so I took some liberties. The difficulty comes from 'family' which scans as two or three syllables, depending on how you read it.
My usual approach is to avoid ambiguous words or lock down the meter so hard with the ones around them that they don't cause a trip, but that wasn't working here. The trials of poetry, lol.
Thanks for the great review :-)
Mike
Comment from lyenochka
You expressed all that we are going through in watching the nightly news. There is so much performance art among the journalists. Those that clamor for their "right to bear arms" are also the ones against abortion. If they are for children, why aren't they for keeping them safe? A prior Chief Justice of the Supreme Court said this whole Second Amendment insistence was a "fraud" forced by the gun lobbyists. Another school mass shooting and we are still waiting for change.
Great crown of sonnets!
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
|
You expressed all that we are going through in watching the nightly news. There is so much performance art among the journalists. Those that clamor for their "right to bear arms" are also the ones against abortion. If they are for children, why aren't they for keeping them safe? A prior Chief Justice of the Supreme Court said this whole Second Amendment insistence was a "fraud" forced by the gun lobbyists. Another school mass shooting and we are still waiting for change.
Great crown of sonnets!
Comment Written 28-May-2022
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
-
Thank you :-). I like the performance art take on it - that's exactly what it feels like!
Mike
Comment from Cindy Warren
I think it's a pretty accurate observation. I don't know what's wrong with the world. It seems to me humans were very good at killing each other long before guns were invented, but going after kids in schools is a new kind of crazy. What's wrong with society that people want to do that?
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
|
I think it's a pretty accurate observation. I don't know what's wrong with the world. It seems to me humans were very good at killing each other long before guns were invented, but going after kids in schools is a new kind of crazy. What's wrong with society that people want to do that?
Comment Written 28-May-2022
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
-
If it wasn't so horrific, it would almost be funny, how absurd it is. Of all the groups to target!
Mike
Comment from jake cosmos aller
well done. writing a sonnet is hard and writing a crown of sonnets even harder. I like the underlying message, the satirical tone comes out very well and you mastered the form. Well done.
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
|
well done. writing a sonnet is hard and writing a crown of sonnets even harder. I like the underlying message, the satirical tone comes out very well and you mastered the form. Well done.
Comment Written 28-May-2022
reply by the author on 28-May-2022
-
Thanks so much, Jake. I'm thrilled you liked it, and really appreciate the encouragement.
Mike
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Woah! Powerful! You must be related to my husband! Where do I start? Maybe with the letter J, who I think is the incumbent in my Wizard of Os poem??
Next, I didn't fully understand 6 years ago when I kept hearing about fake news , but since then I have boycotted the phony baloney and choose to get my info from a few more accurate places. National and local only about ratings and encourage nothing more than copycats and exploit victims. In Buffalo, MN where that Allina clinic shooting happened in my clinic where I go, the trial is now going on here & what a joke. Some attorney trying to get him off because he was suffering opioid withdrawal! I've been there & done that, from having Lupus and was on the strongest dose possible, but got off & didn't have to kill. Plus quit smoking during Covid and lol, wanted to shoot my husband, but that's a different story. : ) I agree that we need to arm the good people to defend their property and even more important, loved ones! Children, I ache when I hear of such tragedies!! I could go on & on, but if I missed your point at all, please let me know, as I was pretty sure we were on the same page! Thanks for the awesome read my friend!
reply by the author on 29-May-2022
|
Woah! Powerful! You must be related to my husband! Where do I start? Maybe with the letter J, who I think is the incumbent in my Wizard of Os poem??
Next, I didn't fully understand 6 years ago when I kept hearing about fake news , but since then I have boycotted the phony baloney and choose to get my info from a few more accurate places. National and local only about ratings and encourage nothing more than copycats and exploit victims. In Buffalo, MN where that Allina clinic shooting happened in my clinic where I go, the trial is now going on here & what a joke. Some attorney trying to get him off because he was suffering opioid withdrawal! I've been there & done that, from having Lupus and was on the strongest dose possible, but got off & didn't have to kill. Plus quit smoking during Covid and lol, wanted to shoot my husband, but that's a different story. : ) I agree that we need to arm the good people to defend their property and even more important, loved ones! Children, I ache when I hear of such tragedies!! I could go on & on, but if I missed your point at all, please let me know, as I was pretty sure we were on the same page! Thanks for the awesome read my friend!
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 29-May-2022
-
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences with me, Debi :-). Ultimately, the person who committed the crime is the one responsible, and I don't care if they were on drugs (that's just an extra reason to dislike them) or feeling low etc. Yes, I'm sure it's tragic, but they still knew what they were doing was wrong.
As for school shootings, I don't think there's a single answer. I think everyone shouting an opinion probably has a point, and what's needed is an approach that combines them all and is centred on a solution instead of a political agenda. What never helps is the insanely manipulative news coverage that's more about increasing circulation or viewing figures than actually informing anyone. Not to mention, glorifying it feels dangerous.
Sigh. I'm just glad I don't have to sort it out!
Tha ks so much for the review :-).
Mike