Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Drifting - Life's hazards"Musings of an old man - 2022
15 total reviews
Comment from Rachel Jamerson1
It is very common for us to drift through life ignoring the many chances to make a real difference. Usually, it takes an unexpected event to wake you up to new possibilities. I like the image this poem projects.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
  |
It is very common for us to drift through life ignoring the many chances to make a real difference. Usually, it takes an unexpected event to wake you up to new possibilities. I like the image this poem projects.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
-
Hi Rachael, thanks you for stopping by to read my writing prompt.
Comment from irishauthorme
What a stunning picture! A perfect preface for your poem.
Seems like we have to go through a ton of life's ups and downs, and if we survive, we gain a little wisdom and insight as we age.
Finally got my life together and pointed in the right direction when I was 50.
I also just retired again. Do not post a lot here on FS, but do read and review almost every day, some very talented people here.
Really liked this, thanks for sharing.
irish
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
|
What a stunning picture! A perfect preface for your poem.
Seems like we have to go through a ton of life's ups and downs, and if we survive, we gain a little wisdom and insight as we age.
Finally got my life together and pointed in the right direction when I was 50.
I also just retired again. Do not post a lot here on FS, but do read and review almost every day, some very talented people here.
Really liked this, thanks for sharing.
irish
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
-
Thanks Irish, I appreciate your review and introduction.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Being in touch with reality means we are face to face with the truth and life can be dark at times and we may lose our way, but our faith and hope keeps us on track and we try to stay away from trouble, this drifter is dodging about in the shadows, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
|
Being in touch with reality means we are face to face with the truth and life can be dark at times and we may lose our way, but our faith and hope keeps us on track and we try to stay away from trouble, this drifter is dodging about in the shadows, love Dolly x
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
-
Best back to you,friend!
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Great poem for the club entry. You have captured a journey back from a lost place with no name. A place that often seems to be a prison. But you end on an upbeat note.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
|
Great poem for the club entry. You have captured a journey back from a lost place with no name. A place that often seems to be a prison. But you end on an upbeat note.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
-
Thanks for your positive comment.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
On the whole the story is terrific. I felt there were parts that were as a sticky-wicket. For instance, line three, stanza one...hope," he thought, a con-game," flows better for me as while mired in darkness he thought hope a con-game. Also, the last stanza written "caught in life's undertow be it called doom, fate, or lot in life, as we drift" versus caught in an undertow of fate, doom or strife." Just suggestion, that may be as scriptures tells us to be strewn was used if of no use. Be well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
 |
On the whole the story is terrific. I felt there were parts that were as a sticky-wicket. For instance, line three, stanza one...hope," he thought, a con-game," flows better for me as while mired in darkness he thought hope a con-game. Also, the last stanza written "caught in life's undertow be it called doom, fate, or lot in life, as we drift" versus caught in an undertow of fate, doom or strife." Just suggestion, that may be as scriptures tells us to be strewn was used if of no use. Be well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
-
Tom good input, thanks - to keep the rhyme scheme intact I did need to massage your input - but I think overall it is tweaked for the better, 👌
-
Did the edit repeat line four of stanza four purposely?. The first paragraph is better.