The Final Conversation
a work of quirk22 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Your notes add a bit more context. I the reader knew that Death was there, the old friend lines were a bit of a mystery. This was a nice little tale. I guess in the end even the four horsemen must pass too.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Your notes add a bit more context. I the reader knew that Death was there, the old friend lines were a bit of a mystery. This was a nice little tale. I guess in the end even the four horsemen must pass too.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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I remember at the time I wrote this having the notion about what would happen when everyone else was gone. Many thanks GMG
Comment from aryr
Very well done and greatly enjoyed, G. For some reason I knew it was death that had visited Jasper. Lance was already dead, as was Warburton. Now it was only Jasper and as he succumbed death closed his eyes. Unfortunately death comes to each and every one of us.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Very well done and greatly enjoyed, G. For some reason I knew it was death that had visited Jasper. Lance was already dead, as was Warburton. Now it was only Jasper and as he succumbed death closed his eyes. Unfortunately death comes to each and every one of us.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Many thanks for the great response once again. Death was a given I think, but the other ones were a bit more oblique, hence the not4w, which I don't usually include. All the best. G
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You are most welcome, G.
Comment from Cindy Warren
I was expecting Jasper to starve to death, but without the notes I probably wouldn't have figured out what the men represented. Is the end of the horsemen a good thing?
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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I was expecting Jasper to starve to death, but without the notes I probably wouldn't have figured out what the men represented. Is the end of the horsemen a good thing?
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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The end of the horsemen, in my opinion means everything and everyone else has gone already. many thanks GMG
Comment from Spitfire
That Jasper 'gasps' at his visitor is a clue the man is not welcome. Of course, Death is impeccably dressed. ( I think of Dickenson's "Because I could not stop for death....") The first paragraph almost numbs the reader with it's heaviness and reference to relentless time.
Black socks with a yellow smiley face-- a spot of humor needed to highlight even more the fate awaiting these men.
Sharing a drink and a laugh with Death-- and referring to him as a friend. Definitely. I would do the same.
War--arrogant, aggressive, all guts and thunder ( over-the-hill description, G.)
Lance --pouring toxic nonsense
Hungerford -- what a delicious last name. :-)
A pleasure to read your work as always, G.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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That Jasper 'gasps' at his visitor is a clue the man is not welcome. Of course, Death is impeccably dressed. ( I think of Dickenson's "Because I could not stop for death....") The first paragraph almost numbs the reader with it's heaviness and reference to relentless time.
Black socks with a yellow smiley face-- a spot of humor needed to highlight even more the fate awaiting these men.
Sharing a drink and a laugh with Death-- and referring to him as a friend. Definitely. I would do the same.
War--arrogant, aggressive, all guts and thunder ( over-the-hill description, G.)
Lance --pouring toxic nonsense
Hungerford -- what a delicious last name. :-)
A pleasure to read your work as always, G.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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many thanks. I wrote this one years ago and it was gathering dust so i thought I'd give it an airing. All the best G
Comment from Shirley McLain
You did a good job with this piece of writing. I didn't have any problems reading it, but I had no idea it was the four horsemen. Have a wonderful evening. Shirley
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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You did a good job with this piece of writing. I didn't have any problems reading it, but I had no idea it was the four horsemen. Have a wonderful evening. Shirley
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Many thanks for checking this one out, Shirley. GMG
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Great work. Excellent writing and terrific muse.
I had a sense part way in what was up, but held on to my suspense a good long while more. I loved it!
Good luck with it.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Great work. Excellent writing and terrific muse.
I had a sense part way in what was up, but held on to my suspense a good long while more. I loved it!
Good luck with it.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Many thanks for the fantastic response. GMG
Comment from damommy
I didn't find it quirky. I found it fascinating. I had figured out that the visitor was death. Death seemed sad to be taking his friends out one at a time, but it was his duty. This is engrossing, and I felt like I was there which is what keeps me reading anything, if I can feel like I'm watching it or I'm there. Your writing does that for me.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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I didn't find it quirky. I found it fascinating. I had figured out that the visitor was death. Death seemed sad to be taking his friends out one at a time, but it was his duty. This is engrossing, and I felt like I was there which is what keeps me reading anything, if I can feel like I'm watching it or I'm there. Your writing does that for me.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Many thanks, Yvonne. It's funny you say about seeing it as that's how I write. I let it play out in my head and then write what I see. The other thing I try to do is use movement to give the detail, not stopping or slowing the pace for description but having the character interact with the surroundings which makes it more vivid and organic... I hope! lol G
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You should teach a class here on FS for people like me who want to learn how to write that way. Will you think about doing that?
Comment from royowen
I've always liked the personification of the "rigours" of life, such as Death, Chaos, plague, sort of like the gods of old, each one confined to a major task in someone's "life" or, in this case Death. There have been appearances of the Angel of Death in the Old Testament. And to the character of Job, but those woes fell on Satan himself. Beautifully written G, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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I've always liked the personification of the "rigours" of life, such as Death, Chaos, plague, sort of like the gods of old, each one confined to a major task in someone's "life" or, in this case Death. There have been appearances of the Angel of Death in the Old Testament. And to the character of Job, but those woes fell on Satan himself. Beautifully written G, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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many thanks, roy. i think the personification lets us get a handle on things a little better, if that's at all possible. G
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Well done
Comment from Begin Again
Your way of presenting the last conversation of the four horsemen adds a softer more personal view to the story. I truly enjoyed every word, every description, every scratched fingernail on the wall. You did an outstanding job.
Always, Carol
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Your way of presenting the last conversation of the four horsemen adds a softer more personal view to the story. I truly enjoyed every word, every description, every scratched fingernail on the wall. You did an outstanding job.
Always, Carol
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Many thanks as always, Carol. GMG
Comment from Sally Carter
I rarely read prose, being more into poetry - on this site, anyway. But this popped up so I gave it a go. Totally captivating, though I know little or nothing of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, apart from having heard the words. But no matter. Your writing is wonderful - so expressive, so vivid, so tight, with every word impeccably chosen. Thanks for the read. Maybe I should visit prose more often.....
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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I rarely read prose, being more into poetry - on this site, anyway. But this popped up so I gave it a go. Totally captivating, though I know little or nothing of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, apart from having heard the words. But no matter. Your writing is wonderful - so expressive, so vivid, so tight, with every word impeccably chosen. Thanks for the read. Maybe I should visit prose more often.....
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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There's a lot of good prose on the site. i originally started on here six years ago as a poet but soon started prose. I rarely write poetry these days. lol All the best GMG