Reviews from

The Challenge

Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Challenge, Act 1, Scene 5"
Young Man Has Doubts About Becoming a Priest

31 total reviews 
Comment from Goodadvicechan
Excellent
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I must admit, I enjoy the conversations.

I need to learn more English to understand all the slang. Since I miss some of the earlier chapters. I have some difficulties in understanding why Philip and James, as bothers, are enemies.

I look forward to follow the upcoming scenes.
Thanks for sharing your writing.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
    The brothers aren't enemies, Chan (I hope that's your name),. It's just that James has a drinking problem that Phillip feels unable to help, and James is embarrassed by what he believes are Phillip's homosexual tendencies, and afraid it might derail his (James's) political aspirations. Thank you for your interest.
Comment from Annette R.
Excellent
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So, I can say I understand what saying uncle means. I live on the USA side of the pond. I read this to learn about script writing and I find it interesting from what little I know about stages. I find the characters interesting as well.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
    Thank you, Annette. I am not one to learn scriptwriting from (or even playwriting, for that matter). I'm just happy you enjoy the play. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
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Uncle worked in mid-USA 60 years ago but "I'll tell your mother," worked better, not than anyone would do it. Haven't heard any of my younger family members use uncle. "Get the F off me," is more common, but no one reared in a nice home would use the more modern one, in the 50's, unless maybe they were drunk. His poor mother has her hands full, but then . . . My priest friend admitted he and his sister were priest and sister because his mother believed she couldn't go to heaven without that. The week she died, he married and last I heard has two children. Very well done scene and it tells more about Phillip's demeanor.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
    Thank you, Carol, for your comments and your enthusiasm. I'm so happy you are connecting with the play. Back in the 50's a priest didn't marry. Now, it's acceptable Once more, I appreciate you, Carol!
reply by Carol Hillebrenner on 06-Dec-2021
    thanks
Comment from RPSaxena
Excellent
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Hello Jay Squires,
Just like live Presentation!
Lucid as well as PERFECTLY matching the theme phraseology; Captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end; Nice description of scenes, characters, and their activities.
This point is particularly noteworthy:
"MARGARET:
No more roughhousing, boys...
JAMES:
Tell that to this--this elephant on me!"
Interesting, Indeed!

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
    Thank you, RP. You have been a regular reader of my plays, and boy! do I appreciate that!
reply by RPSaxena on 06-Dec-2021
    Jay Squires, Most Welcome!
    With best wishes,
    ~ RP
Comment from Jasmine Girl
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For someone coming from the opposite of the globe, "saying 'uncle'" doesn't mean anything to me.

I also didn't understand why Phillip thought James said something that means he was gay.

Otherwise, it's very entertaining and are looking forward to reading me.

Well done.

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
    Thank you, Lisa. You're not the first one not to understand the gay reference. It was mainly to show James's drunken state
Comment from Spitfire
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This establishes the relationship between the brothers and that James is hardly a fit person to run for office. What with the roughhousing and reference to cold shower, I'm not sure if you are implying that James could be gay too? Seems very unlikely even if they were twins! What are the odd?

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
    No, Phillip was referring to James's statement of "if we can't be good we'll name the first one after you," as implying Male on Male sex (and he was really saying, "Are you so drunk that you don't know what you are saying?"
reply by Spitfire on 06-Dec-2021
    got it!
Comment from Theodore McDowell
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First, I like the new look of bold font for the dialogue, It makes it much easier to read. It seems to be a set up scene for later issues, i.e. between the two brothers. Well done, as usual.

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
    Thank you, Tim. Yes, the bolder font seems to make it pop more. I wasn't aware I had done anything different to it though.
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
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I think saying Uncle still has the same meaning it always did. I remember my brothers said that a lot while wrestling with one another. I have been following this story and find it quite interesting.

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
    Thank you for following the play. This scene was short, mainly to introduce the brother and their relationship.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Jay, again you've written a wonderful continuation to this script. The two boys are at loggerheads, and at this stage, we still don't know where Phillip's real sexual orientation is. He might be in denial. But who knows? So far, he appears as confused as everybody else.
I like the way you describe, Margaret, their mother, as if she's floating above it all not knowing anything about anyone. I guess she has an elective mind.
As English is not my first language, 'uncle' in this context you use it wouldn't mean anything to me. I was brought up in Denmark, with the Danish Language.
I really love this play. Can't wait to see where you take it. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
    Thank you for your continued support and encouragement, Ulla. The play isn't getting the plaudits as Genius in Love did, but that's okay. I'm just privileged to have you along for the ride. Your six stars, of course, are a delight!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Uncle was very popular in my day too. Of course we're close to the same age. I enjoyed reading this and I am very curious where you're going with this. I can't wait.

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
    Thank you, Barbara. Based on the responses, it seems that "uncle" seems to be an American saying that doesn't have that long a shadow. Those in Europe weren't familiar with it.
reply by barbara.wilkey on 06-Dec-2021
    I had meant to give you six stars and it wasn't until I wrote my next review and realized I hadn't. I am so sorry.!!!!!!!!!!!!!