Contest Entry and Winners
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Trinity's Story"Short Stories
30 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Barlow
Woah. I knew something was odd when she peered into the church. Then taking Paul's arm. No, no, no, this does not happen at a wedding.
It turned what I thought was going to be a happy day, into a very sad day. You didn't say what she died from. It doesn't matter. Well written and thought out.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Woah. I knew something was odd when she peered into the church. Then taking Paul's arm. No, no, no, this does not happen at a wedding.
It turned what I thought was going to be a happy day, into a very sad day. You didn't say what she died from. It doesn't matter. Well written and thought out.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
This is beautifully written, so emotional, and so surprising at the end. I was not expecting a funeral. The descriptions are so detailed, I felt like I was at the church. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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This is beautifully written, so emotional, and so surprising at the end. I was not expecting a funeral. The descriptions are so detailed, I felt like I was at the church. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Goosebumps all over. How tragic and sad. Such a beautiful beginning, but the ending - what a devastating twist. It has been crafted with such realism, and with such skill. Your writing is superb, and every reader experiences the emotional pain along with the author, even though it is "fiction".
Wendy
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Goosebumps all over. How tragic and sad. Such a beautiful beginning, but the ending - what a devastating twist. It has been crafted with such realism, and with such skill. Your writing is superb, and every reader experiences the emotional pain along with the author, even though it is "fiction".
Wendy
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Gert sherwood
Begin Again
Your writings of lifetime of dreams...
telling us of Trinity's Story
My what a beautiful dream I know your writing is supernatural, you wrote to make us believe it's actually happening.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Begin Again
Your writings of lifetime of dreams...
telling us of Trinity's Story
My what a beautiful dream I know your writing is supernatural, you wrote to make us believe it's actually happening.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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You are most welcome
Begin Again.
Gert
Comment from Judy Lawless
Wow, this is a tear jerky, Carol, after a happy beginning. You've done an amazing job of making it sound so real, until the surreal ending. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Wow, this is a tear jerky, Carol, after a happy beginning. You've done an amazing job of making it sound so real, until the surreal ending. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from LisaMay
You've wrung the emotions with this one. It's crisply written with terrific scene-setting and leads the reader to expect a joyous outcome. Therefore the tragic realisation of a funeral has even more impact. I predict a win for you in the contest.
This sentence struck me as odd:
To her amazement, her family and friends filled the pews. (Why was she amazed?... of course they'd be there. Also, they can't have filled the pews if you go on to detail who else was there in other pews.)
There's a word missing in this sentence:
The men and women she'd worked side by side (with) for the last two years wore their military blues and filled two full pews.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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You've wrung the emotions with this one. It's crisply written with terrific scene-setting and leads the reader to expect a joyous outcome. Therefore the tragic realisation of a funeral has even more impact. I predict a win for you in the contest.
This sentence struck me as odd:
To her amazement, her family and friends filled the pews. (Why was she amazed?... of course they'd be there. Also, they can't have filled the pews if you go on to detail who else was there in other pews.)
There's a word missing in this sentence:
The men and women she'd worked side by side (with) for the last two years wore their military blues and filled two full pews.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from karenina
Oh than GOD I has one six left! I have goose bumps on my goose bumps, Carol! If this isn't a winner I'm turning in my belly button and quitting! So many endings my mind was racing to embrace...knowing this was a supernatural entry and knowing YOU, clever authoress! I did not see this coming. I'm speechless. (Quite a feat for me!)
Spectacular!
Karenina
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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Oh than GOD I has one six left! I have goose bumps on my goose bumps, Carol! If this isn't a winner I'm turning in my belly button and quitting! So many endings my mind was racing to embrace...knowing this was a supernatural entry and knowing YOU, clever authoress! I did not see this coming. I'm speechless. (Quite a feat for me!)
Spectacular!
Karenina
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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Forgive me please for my poor display of gratitude and appreciation. I truly am grateful for all your time, your review and your thoughtfulness. I'm struggling with life and I apologize for neglecting your efforts. I am weeks behind in responding so I must at least cut and paste a thank you and hope you understand. I am thrilled that you have taken the time to read my story and to enjoy it.
Smiles, hugs and much love for all the support.
Carol
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Hugs...
K
Comment from Anne Johnston
Your story is very well written, beautiful descriptions of the church and its decorations, but then such a sad ending. How devastating that a wedding day turned into a funeral service. Your story made me cry.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Your story is very well written, beautiful descriptions of the church and its decorations, but then such a sad ending. How devastating that a wedding day turned into a funeral service. Your story made me cry.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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You are welcome
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading your contest entry. You touched my heart with this story.
She wondered if her Mom and Dad were watching from Heaven's Gates. (both 'mom' and 'dad' need lower case letters because of the 'her')
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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I enjoyed reading your contest entry. You touched my heart with this story.
She wondered if her Mom and Dad were watching from Heaven's Gates. (both 'mom' and 'dad' need lower case letters because of the 'her')
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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It was almost the story of my life, but I was blessed to have the wedding before he passed away. I guess he was on my mind today and this is what came of it. Thank you for the review and the changes are fixed.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
This is so precious. I am amazed at how prolific you are at the moment. I'm proud that you find the time and can escape into your stories and characters. This scene was really well-set. I had an inkling from the beginning that it might be something like this, but you had me wondering the whole way through. One can never tell what you're going to do!
Good luck!
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Carol,
This is so precious. I am amazed at how prolific you are at the moment. I'm proud that you find the time and can escape into your stories and characters. This scene was really well-set. I had an inkling from the beginning that it might be something like this, but you had me wondering the whole way through. One can never tell what you're going to do!
Good luck!
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Today was a down day for me -- no kids just a therapy meeting with Kaitlyn later on. I was left to write and do a few things by myself. A relief in some ways! Thanks for the review.
Hugs, Carol