After the Storm
The Bridges poetry form30 total reviews
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Yvonne.
your descriptions of the raindrops hitting the ground, rivers, and creeks is really well done and it is a good verbal visual. All of your descriptive images are excellent in this poem. Reading the words prompts images in the reader's mind.
Robert
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Hello Yvonne.
your descriptions of the raindrops hitting the ground, rivers, and creeks is really well done and it is a good verbal visual. All of your descriptive images are excellent in this poem. Reading the words prompts images in the reader's mind.
Robert
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Thank you. I'm so glad you saw/heard all I intended.
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You're welcome Yvonne.
Comment from karenina
I'd not heard of this form and now this is the second I've read this sitting.
It seems so complex at first...but seeing how beautifully you've maintained the theme and tone helped me to go back and examine how each stanza is stitched together. This is a stellar poem which sent me scurrying to read 'Nightingales" before reviewing! Not sure I'll ever be up to writing it--but I sure enjoyed reading it!
Karenina
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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I'd not heard of this form and now this is the second I've read this sitting.
It seems so complex at first...but seeing how beautifully you've maintained the theme and tone helped me to go back and examine how each stanza is stitched together. This is a stellar poem which sent me scurrying to read 'Nightingales" before reviewing! Not sure I'll ever be up to writing it--but I sure enjoyed reading it!
Karenina
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Oh, you can do it. They're never as hard as they look. Thanks for a great review!
Comment from Anne Johnston
As I read your poem, my thoughts progressed through the storm you have so accurately described, I heard the wind and the rain, and watched the raindrops on the window. And then, the storm was over and like the grass I felt renewed. What a great picture, of how we all face storms of life, but when we persevere and trust through them, we come out on the other side, renewed. This is a beautiful poem.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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As I read your poem, my thoughts progressed through the storm you have so accurately described, I heard the wind and the rain, and watched the raindrops on the window. And then, the storm was over and like the grass I felt renewed. What a great picture, of how we all face storms of life, but when we persevere and trust through them, we come out on the other side, renewed. This is a beautiful poem.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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You're so right. Life is like that, too. Thank you for this wonderful review. I'm glad you enjoyed reading my poem.
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You are welcome
Comment from Ulla
Hi Yvonne, what a beautiful poem this is. And it is so true. After the soil and the plants have been half dormant, they suddenly come back to life. It's just happened here after a long and very hot summer. We unexpectedly had 5 days of rain and now everything is growing anew. The temps are still in the upper seventies. So no wonder. I loved your poem. Ulla xx
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Hi Yvonne, what a beautiful poem this is. And it is so true. After the soil and the plants have been half dormant, they suddenly come back to life. It's just happened here after a long and very hot summer. We unexpectedly had 5 days of rain and now everything is growing anew. The temps are still in the upper seventies. So no wonder. I loved your poem. Ulla xx
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you. We had a few days of rain, too, and much needed. As you know, I love rain. It could rain every day as far as I'm concerned.
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Oh, no I couldn't have that. II love rain when it's needed and the sun and blue sky is a God send. LOL
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a well done poem for the potlatch challenge, Yvonne. It gives strong images of a storm, its sounds and aftermath. It is always so much fresher and prettier after a good thunderstorm that did no damage.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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This is a well done poem for the potlatch challenge, Yvonne. It gives strong images of a storm, its sounds and aftermath. It is always so much fresher and prettier after a good thunderstorm that did no damage.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much. I love a good thunder-boomer as long as it isn't damaging. Love the rain!
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You are most kindly welcome, Yvonne.
Joan
Comment from aryr
What a great depiction of a steady rainfall, damommy. The picture was perfect for the rain it presented. Your words were wonderful from the beginning of the storm to the end of the rainfall. Indeed everything is fresher after it rains, the earth, the grass, the flowers and the flowing creeks and rivers. Very well done and greatly enjoyed.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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What a great depiction of a steady rainfall, damommy. The picture was perfect for the rain it presented. Your words were wonderful from the beginning of the storm to the end of the rainfall. Indeed everything is fresher after it rains, the earth, the grass, the flowers and the flowing creeks and rivers. Very well done and greatly enjoyed.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you. That makes me happy.
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You are so very welcome, Yvonne.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Well done. A great description of a sudden spring rain that washed the countryside of the dirt and dust a relieves the thirst of all living things. I enjoyed the poem, Yvonne. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Well done. A great description of a sudden spring rain that washed the countryside of the dirt and dust a relieves the thirst of all living things. I enjoyed the poem, Yvonne. Nancy:)
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much, Nancy.
Comment from judiverse
I love this form. You did an excellent job with the rhyme and flow. I like the effect of the short lines. The comparison of the storm to sounds of musical instruments like the kettle drums and cymbals. Strong verbs like pummel and strangle emphasize the power of the storm. The third stanza beautifully describes the aftermath of the storm. A six-star work. judi
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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I love this form. You did an excellent job with the rhyme and flow. I like the effect of the short lines. The comparison of the storm to sounds of musical instruments like the kettle drums and cymbals. Strong verbs like pummel and strangle emphasize the power of the storm. The third stanza beautifully describes the aftermath of the storm. A six-star work. judi
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you. I appreciate this very much!
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You're very welcome. It was beautifully put together. judi
Comment from Pantygynt
I kind of sensed this wasn't quite right and on closer analysis realised that the math had let you down.
The first line below is the syllable count required the the syllable count you actually have by stanzas.
Required: 12/12/4/12/10/4
Stanza 1: 14/12/4/12/12/4 This felt odd because of overlong L1
Stanza 2: 12/12/4/11/10/4 This felt particularly odd because of L4'sodd number of syllables
Stanza 3: 12/12/4/ 8/ 8/4 Lines 4 & 5 are way short.
In all honesty I cannot award more than 4 but if you repair it I could upgrade. The content is excellent, the poem just needs to conform to the stated requirements.
Second review. You got there! Well done. Sometimes these instructions are not as clear as they might be. But I have now much pleasure in upgrading this to five stars.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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I kind of sensed this wasn't quite right and on closer analysis realised that the math had let you down.
The first line below is the syllable count required the the syllable count you actually have by stanzas.
Required: 12/12/4/12/10/4
Stanza 1: 14/12/4/12/12/4 This felt odd because of overlong L1
Stanza 2: 12/12/4/11/10/4 This felt particularly odd because of L4'sodd number of syllables
Stanza 3: 12/12/4/ 8/ 8/4 Lines 4 & 5 are way short.
In all honesty I cannot award more than 4 but if you repair it I could upgrade. The content is excellent, the poem just needs to conform to the stated requirements.
Second review. You got there! Well done. Sometimes these instructions are not as clear as they might be. But I have now much pleasure in upgrading this to five stars.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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I think I have it right now. Hopefully.
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You have it sorted apart from the very first line, which is still 14 syllables long.
'I / watch / as / rain/drops / pum/mel / crust/ed / ground / with / sav /age / blows,/' =14. Lol.
Leaving out the 'crusted' would doit but there are plenty of other ways to lose two syllables.
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Oops. I thought I removed "crusted." Back to the drawing board.
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I give up!
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Don't do that. It's OK now and I have upgraded it.
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Oh, thank you, thank you. I really appreciate it. Did Penny and Paddy tell you to do that? lol.
Comment from AnnieDawn
No matter what style this is written in it is just beautiful to read. One can picture the storm as one reads and I have been through many, and sat and listened to every word you described when the storm has raged outside my window. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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No matter what style this is written in it is just beautiful to read. One can picture the storm as one reads and I have been through many, and sat and listened to every word you described when the storm has raged outside my window. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much. It's so cozy to watch the rain from indoors. I love a mild thunder-boomer. 8-)