The Elf's Umbrella
A Hemmed Ballad21 total reviews
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"The Elf's Umbrella", is an extremely well-written, and delightfully descriptive and entertaining piece. Penned with craft and skill, this talented poet has told it as it is. I look forward to seeing your next post. Good luck with the contest!
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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"The Elf's Umbrella", is an extremely well-written, and delightfully descriptive and entertaining piece. Penned with craft and skill, this talented poet has told it as it is. I look forward to seeing your next post. Good luck with the contest!
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much for this.
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Wendy G
This was a lovely piece of writing, and I enjoyed it a lot. I like the way you see beauty in the 'ordinary' and then compose a fantasy story in rhyme to accompany it. Well done.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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This was a lovely piece of writing, and I enjoyed it a lot. I like the way you see beauty in the 'ordinary' and then compose a fantasy story in rhyme to accompany it. Well done.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Thank you. What a lovely thing to say.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Yvonne.
You wrote with good rhyme and meter. I am a fan of ballad style poetry. The story of the elf's umbrella would make a good children's rhyme.
Robert
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Hello Yvonne.
You wrote with good rhyme and meter. I am a fan of ballad style poetry. The story of the elf's umbrella would make a good children's rhyme.
Robert
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Thank you. I'm so glad you like it.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I think you missed the rhyme that carries on from the last word of the previous stanza and starts the next stanza? I enjoyed the story and the clever rhyming and meter, a joy to read, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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I think you missed the rhyme that carries on from the last word of the previous stanza and starts the next stanza? I enjoyed the story and the clever rhyming and meter, a joy to read, love Dolly x
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Where was that? Thanks for the review.
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The end rhyme should have the same sound as the first word on the next stanza, take a look at Gloria?s poem to confirm, love Dolly x
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I looked at Helen's since she invented it. In her review, she said it was done correctly. 8-) Thanks for looking out for me.
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Maybe you're thinking of the Shadow Sonnet where the next line begins with the last word of the preceding stanza. 8-)
Comment from Jay Squires
What a complex form you used with your Hemmed Ballad. You would have told a lovely story with linked senryus. You are foremost a storyteller. The verse just keeps my toes a-tapping. I would like to mention one thing. The script-like font you used creates some problems with h's and b's.
For example: "I wondered who had left it there," in the fifth line of the first stanza. The "h" in "had" looked like a "b", as in "bad". In "there" in that line the mind makes the correction, but "hid" became "bid" and "heard" became the fuzzy stuff on a man's chin.
I'm just calling your attention to it because if I wrote something as good as you have, I wouldn't want the reader to trip on a single word of it.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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What a complex form you used with your Hemmed Ballad. You would have told a lovely story with linked senryus. You are foremost a storyteller. The verse just keeps my toes a-tapping. I would like to mention one thing. The script-like font you used creates some problems with h's and b's.
For example: "I wondered who had left it there," in the fifth line of the first stanza. The "h" in "had" looked like a "b", as in "bad". In "there" in that line the mind makes the correction, but "hid" became "bid" and "heard" became the fuzzy stuff on a man's chin.
I'm just calling your attention to it because if I wrote something as good as you have, I wouldn't want the reader to trip on a single word of it.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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This is one of the loveliest reviews I've ever received. Thank you so much for the beautiful comments. I will attend to the font right away.
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I think it's better now. Thanks for pointing that out.
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Perfect!
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My pleasure, damommy. Who's damommy? You'se damommy!
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Yep, that's me.
Yvonne
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was a terrific read. I love how you turned this story into a poem that was so well written. The rhyme scheme is so natural. Each word fits perfectly. And I enjoyed the story. Great job!
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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I thought this was a terrific read. I love how you turned this story into a poem that was so well written. The rhyme scheme is so natural. Each word fits perfectly. And I enjoyed the story. Great job!
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Thank you for a great review.
Comment from Pantygynt
Now this seems to be a slightly different interpretation from one I read earlier, that rhymes the first syllable of the next stanza with the last syllable of the previous one. I am not sure which is correct. You would have to ask Helen I suppose. This works well however and with a little fun fairy tale to cap it all.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Now this seems to be a slightly different interpretation from one I read earlier, that rhymes the first syllable of the next stanza with the last syllable of the previous one. I am not sure which is correct. You would have to ask Helen I suppose. This works well however and with a little fun fairy tale to cap it all.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Thank you. I'm glad you found it fun. Naughty fairy.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is a skillfully-composed, delightful narrative poem with an excellent plot. It has the elements of fantasy, suspense, adventure, pursuit,
even revenge!
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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This is a skillfully-composed, delightful narrative poem with an excellent plot. It has the elements of fantasy, suspense, adventure, pursuit,
even revenge!
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Thank you. This is a lovely review.
Comment from GE Parson
Well Miss Damommy, I don't know anything bout
Leyenochka poetry, but I liked your funny ending poem. Jealous little fairy. I just got a notice to extend my comment to 150 characters.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Well Miss Damommy, I don't know anything bout
Leyenochka poetry, but I liked your funny ending poem. Jealous little fairy. I just got a notice to extend my comment to 150 characters.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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I know. It's sometimes difficult to write 150 characters. But thank you for reviewing this. I'm glad you found it funny in the end.
Comment from GE Parson
Well Miss Damommy, I don't know anything bout
Leyenochka poetry, but I liked your funny ending poem. Jealous little fairy. I just got a notice to extend my comment to 150 characters.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
|
Well Miss Damommy, I don't know anything bout
Leyenochka poetry, but I liked your funny ending poem. Jealous little fairy. I just got a notice to extend my comment to 150 characters.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Thank you. I think we have a duplicate review here. 8-)