Top of the Mountain
Hug them, squeeze them, love them . . . every day.180 total reviews
Comment from E.P. Thomas
Bob,
This is a very well-written and thought provoking essay. I'm surprised you were able to write about something as close to your heart as losing a child, especially a son who you had raised and loved for fourteen years. As a parent and grandparent, I can imagine no worse emotional torment than losing a child or grandchild. There is nothing that can even remotely compare to such a losss, even the prospect of our own pending death. As you stated, a parent should always precede their child in death, and as parents, that is something we all hope or pray happens.
I wasn't totally honest with you before because I am a very private person, and I wasn't about to share a very painful part of my life with everyone who read my reviews. Although my first child died only hours after being born, there isn't too many days that go by that I don't think about him. When I measuring my pain against yours, mine seems insignificant. The pain I still feel was enough to get me through the story I wrote. Sadly, and foolishly, I also blamed my wife because Eric was born prematurely. When pain is at its worst, I think we sometimes strike out at others. I know I did.
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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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Bob,
This is a very well-written and thought provoking essay. I'm surprised you were able to write about something as close to your heart as losing a child, especially a son who you had raised and loved for fourteen years. As a parent and grandparent, I can imagine no worse emotional torment than losing a child or grandchild. There is nothing that can even remotely compare to such a losss, even the prospect of our own pending death. As you stated, a parent should always precede their child in death, and as parents, that is something we all hope or pray happens.
I wasn't totally honest with you before because I am a very private person, and I wasn't about to share a very painful part of my life with everyone who read my reviews. Although my first child died only hours after being born, there isn't too many days that go by that I don't think about him. When I measuring my pain against yours, mine seems insignificant. The pain I still feel was enough to get me through the story I wrote. Sadly, and foolishly, I also blamed my wife because Eric was born prematurely. When pain is at its worst, I think we sometimes strike out at others. I know I did.
g
Comment Written 20-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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Hi, E. P. Thank you for reading this. I hope it was enlightening to say the least. You say you are surprised I could talk about it or write abjout it...All I can say is this happened nover thirty years ago 1981...and it's true...time is the only healer although the scar will always be here...Take care....Bob
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Hi, E. P. Thank you for reading this. I hope it was enlightening to say the least. You say you are surprised I could talk about it or write abjout it...All I can say is this happened nover thirty years ago 1981...and it's true...time is the only healer although the scar will always be here...Take care....Bob
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I don't know. For me, there are things that time will never heal.
Comment from HalfHoff
I honestly cannot find words to express how inept I feel right now. My worst fear has always been the thought of losing one of my children. I have no idea how or if I could bear the pain or if I would ever have the desire to continue living. I only know of two others (personally) that have lost their child and I don't know how to comfort them or if I should even try. I remember reading somewhere that the worst offense is to never mention him or her, but speak of them and relate memories of them. I have tried that, and it seems to spark something inside the parents and they keep the conversation going. I love hearing them reflect and offer more memories with a sated expression.
But this review most certainly is not about me or them or they. I guess I have continued on this was because my guts and heart are in such a cramping knot and selfishly, I had hoped if I just kept typing, they would go away. But they haven't ... very much like the memory of your son.
God Speed. God Bless. Thank you. Lea Ann
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2010
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I honestly cannot find words to express how inept I feel right now. My worst fear has always been the thought of losing one of my children. I have no idea how or if I could bear the pain or if I would ever have the desire to continue living. I only know of two others (personally) that have lost their child and I don't know how to comfort them or if I should even try. I remember reading somewhere that the worst offense is to never mention him or her, but speak of them and relate memories of them. I have tried that, and it seems to spark something inside the parents and they keep the conversation going. I love hearing them reflect and offer more memories with a sated expression.
But this review most certainly is not about me or them or they. I guess I have continued on this was because my guts and heart are in such a cramping knot and selfishly, I had hoped if I just kept typing, they would go away. But they haven't ... very much like the memory of your son.
God Speed. God Bless. Thank you. Lea Ann
Comment Written 14-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2010
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And I thank you, LeaAnn..Thank you for being you...XX Bob
Comment from sunny39
Bob - I have read this about your Bobby, and I cannot hold back the tears. While so many plans their Thanksgiving feasts, your thoughts must be high above this earth in a place called Heaven. This is a heart wrenching story, but beautifully told by a proud and loving father.
What a happy young man is shown in the picture. How sad the world lost such a sweet, radiant smile, but I know it is forever captured in yours and Pat's hearts.
God bless you both - Sunny
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2009
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Bob - I have read this about your Bobby, and I cannot hold back the tears. While so many plans their Thanksgiving feasts, your thoughts must be high above this earth in a place called Heaven. This is a heart wrenching story, but beautifully told by a proud and loving father.
What a happy young man is shown in the picture. How sad the world lost such a sweet, radiant smile, but I know it is forever captured in yours and Pat's hearts.
God bless you both - Sunny
Comment Written 23-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2009
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Yes, forever captured...Thanks so much for your feelings and the way you express yourself in reviewing this...XXX Bob
Comment from BarnCat
Oh my God -- that's what I said over and over as I read this beautifully crafted tribute. I cannot imagine the pain, though your poignant descriptions offered a glimpse of the aftermath of the accident. It was just another day, until suddenly it wasn't. A very moving story told with dignity and restraint. You can be very proud of this piece. D
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2009
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Oh my God -- that's what I said over and over as I read this beautifully crafted tribute. I cannot imagine the pain, though your poignant descriptions offered a glimpse of the aftermath of the accident. It was just another day, until suddenly it wasn't. A very moving story told with dignity and restraint. You can be very proud of this piece. D
Comment Written 04-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2009
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Awwww. Thanks so much, Barncat. What in the world posessed you to go in my profile and look this one up? Thanks again...Bob
Comment from MsRefusenik
(out of sixes) A good looking kid he was with that bright, shining red hair and that big smile. I am terribly sorry for your loss. I know there is no loss worse. I wonder how many years it took you to be able to get it down in writing. You did a wonderful job writing it. You described the tragedy as it happened and didn't spare the details of your emotions and reactions. It is painful reading. It is also gut-level honest writing.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2009
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(out of sixes) A good looking kid he was with that bright, shining red hair and that big smile. I am terribly sorry for your loss. I know there is no loss worse. I wonder how many years it took you to be able to get it down in writing. You did a wonderful job writing it. You described the tragedy as it happened and didn't spare the details of your emotions and reactions. It is painful reading. It is also gut-level honest writing.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2009
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Thanks so much, Ms...I appreciate you taking the time and your sensitive comments...Bob
Comment from Olfovikoff
Bob,
I also grew up learning not to whine, or even acknowledge that something might be kicking my ass. Being the father of two sons, my heart was wide open from the beginning of your story; and I don't know which line I started crying from, but my tears continued all the way 'til the end.
I have not lost either of my children, by the grace of God, but I have a story to tell about almost losing my second son. I hope when I write it, I can open up my heart, my old fears, and anger, enough to write as well as you wrote this.
If I have only learned one thing in my life, it is that there really are no mistakes in God's plan. There have been many times when I have questioned God regarding events in my life, and thus suffered many years of self torture and doubt, until I accepted life the way it is; and moved on. How well you described the need for this act of acceptance, in relating the preist's words
What a wonderful and loving memory of your son, you have shared with us all. I am sure, as his soul looks in on you from time to time, that he is pleased to have you as his father.
May God bless and keep you always,
DaveO
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2009
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Bob,
I also grew up learning not to whine, or even acknowledge that something might be kicking my ass. Being the father of two sons, my heart was wide open from the beginning of your story; and I don't know which line I started crying from, but my tears continued all the way 'til the end.
I have not lost either of my children, by the grace of God, but I have a story to tell about almost losing my second son. I hope when I write it, I can open up my heart, my old fears, and anger, enough to write as well as you wrote this.
If I have only learned one thing in my life, it is that there really are no mistakes in God's plan. There have been many times when I have questioned God regarding events in my life, and thus suffered many years of self torture and doubt, until I accepted life the way it is; and moved on. How well you described the need for this act of acceptance, in relating the preist's words
What a wonderful and loving memory of your son, you have shared with us all. I am sure, as his soul looks in on you from time to time, that he is pleased to have you as his father.
May God bless and keep you always,
DaveO
Comment Written 18-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2009
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What a guy. I'll bet you are a great Dad.. Bob
Comment from jaded831
Very touching. A sad event indeed, but the Father was right, you did go to the top of the mountain. Feeling such pain is probably what made you such a sensitive writer.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2009
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Very touching. A sad event indeed, but the Father was right, you did go to the top of the mountain. Feeling such pain is probably what made you such a sensitive writer.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2009
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Thanks so much, Jade. You are so encouraging...Bob
Comment from cherry_rose
Hi Bob,
This is a poignant, and heart-breaking story. I had tears in my eyes by the time I finished it. It's a beautiful tribute to a wonderful boy, and the message is comforting although the loss was tragic.
I'm assuming that you must have gone on to adopt other children since your bio says you are a father and grandfather. Thank you so much for sharing the pain, and the hope that was born out of it.
cherry_rose
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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Hi Bob,
This is a poignant, and heart-breaking story. I had tears in my eyes by the time I finished it. It's a beautiful tribute to a wonderful boy, and the message is comforting although the loss was tragic.
I'm assuming that you must have gone on to adopt other children since your bio says you are a father and grandfather. Thank you so much for sharing the pain, and the hope that was born out of it.
cherry_rose
Comment Written 10-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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No, Actually We both remarried. Thanks so much for your review, Cherry Rose....Bob
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Bob, I'm sorry. I really feel like I should have known that, but I didn't. You seem to be very happy in your current life. I hope she is as well.
cherry_
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Yes, We are happy on both sides, and no need to be sorry...Thanks so much...Bob
Comment from Sunie617
I can't begin to tell you how your loss ached my heart. My son and I are so much alike it causes A LOT of friction. My biggest fear is that he'll pass believing I don't love him or vise versa. As much as I would love to hug and kiss him I can't. Either He won't let me or I'm tired of trying to prove my love and devotion. I need to personally thank you for sharing your story. It gave me a new perspective. Before it is too late, I will try to make us get along. I really wish you didn't have to go through this. Thank you for your strength and willingness to help others.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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I can't begin to tell you how your loss ached my heart. My son and I are so much alike it causes A LOT of friction. My biggest fear is that he'll pass believing I don't love him or vise versa. As much as I would love to hug and kiss him I can't. Either He won't let me or I'm tired of trying to prove my love and devotion. I need to personally thank you for sharing your story. It gave me a new perspective. Before it is too late, I will try to make us get along. I really wish you didn't have to go through this. Thank you for your strength and willingness to help others.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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And I thank you, Sunie...I appreciate your situation. It's very difficult sometimes, I know. You will be fine...you'll see. God bless and thanks again for your remarks....Bob
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Lainee...
Hi Bob,
My dear friend I am so glad you chose to write this biographical short story on the love, life and overwhelming loss of your son. I hold the utmost respect for you for your writing and now for sharing something so personal and so hard also.
I watched my parents go to the top of this mountain also and it was a climb no-one should ever have to make. December 2nd is our day for my sister too.
With love,
Lainee :O)
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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Hi Bob,
My dear friend I am so glad you chose to write this biographical short story on the love, life and overwhelming loss of your son. I hold the utmost respect for you for your writing and now for sharing something so personal and so hard also.
I watched my parents go to the top of this mountain also and it was a climb no-one should ever have to make. December 2nd is our day for my sister too.
With love,
Lainee :O)
Comment Written 10-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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Wow! What a coincidence! Thanks Lainee for your understanding and kind remarks....Bob