Short
Viewing comments for Chapter 79 "Cold Call"Shorter stories
22 total reviews
Comment from KatyM
Wow, I had to read it twice to understand the last line. Yikes! I have no suggestions or subtractions. Very good! Makes you not want to answer the phone!
Katy Moffitt
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
Wow, I had to read it twice to understand the last line. Yikes! I have no suggestions or subtractions. Very good! Makes you not want to answer the phone!
Katy Moffitt
Comment Written 28-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
-
Thanks, Katy, for the great review. You are one of a few who got it.
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
I love it. What a cute little "love" story in the making. You were able to create a fun-loving character in Andy, with his winking to a pet rock! :) I'm ready to read part 2!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2018
I love it. What a cute little "love" story in the making. You were able to create a fun-loving character in Andy, with his winking to a pet rock! :) I'm ready to read part 2!
Comment Written 28-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2018
-
Thank you, Cindy, for the encouraging review. Bill
Comment from Ulla
Hi Bill, so Allen got an easy ride here and secured a meeting. So far so good. And then I'm lost. What the heck is a pet rock who is called Andy? Must be human as he meets up with the 'victim'. This must be an American thing because I don't get this ending at all. I must be thick. All best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2018
Hi Bill, so Allen got an easy ride here and secured a meeting. So far so good. And then I'm lost. What the heck is a pet rock who is called Andy? Must be human as he meets up with the 'victim'. This must be an American thing because I don't get this ending at all. I must be thick. All best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 28-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2018
-
I left it vague, Ulla. I removed a couple of clues to make the i50 word cut, which then left the ending up to the reader. Most saw a clever telemarketer from, probably, the eighties (note phone and visit) securing a meeting with a lady. He brought along his pet rock. Seems quaint and quirky. Then others saw a serial killer who bashes in heads with his untraceable rock. After a few reviews, I favored the quirky tale.
Comment from Loredana
I read your story twice. I really liked it. I entered my first contest with a flash-fiction, but this is the first time I read one. I wonder if I should take the story as a romance story or a mystery one or a criminal one. I think it can be either. Andy can be a serial killer or a very unlucky man who met the woman of his dreams...or ends up meeting a woman predator...or or or. Bottom line, I really enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2018
I read your story twice. I really liked it. I entered my first contest with a flash-fiction, but this is the first time I read one. I wonder if I should take the story as a romance story or a mystery one or a criminal one. I think it can be either. Andy can be a serial killer or a very unlucky man who met the woman of his dreams...or ends up meeting a woman predator...or or or. Bottom line, I really enjoyed it.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2018
-
Thanks, WL, for giving this a look. It has received mixed opinions about where the plot goes.
Comment from royowen
I really liked the subtle prize winning recipient of a fifty percent prize from a shoe company, a cheque written on one shoe, I guess one could say, Lisa wore Andy, "forever", poor Sally, well dine, Bill, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018
I really liked the subtle prize winning recipient of a fifty percent prize from a shoe company, a cheque written on one shoe, I guess one could say, Lisa wore Andy, "forever", poor Sally, well dine, Bill, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 27-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018
-
Thanks, Roy. Funny what people like.
-
It is indeed.
Comment from Kelly Hanna
I wonder if these two will have a love story or not. Perhaps just a friendship. I'm not sure, but I like where your piece is headed. You've done a good job in shoeing a bit of Lisa and Andy's personalities. Nice write!
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018
I wonder if these two will have a love story or not. Perhaps just a friendship. I'm not sure, but I like where your piece is headed. You've done a good job in shoeing a bit of Lisa and Andy's personalities. Nice write!
Comment Written 27-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018
-
Andy, you may recall, is a rock. :)
Comment from nomi338
This poem makes me feel like the old R&B vocal group, the Coasters when the sang "Along Came Jones": And then, and then.
What the heck happened next?
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018
This poem makes me feel like the old R&B vocal group, the Coasters when the sang "Along Came Jones": And then, and then.
What the heck happened next?
Comment Written 27-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018
-
Well, nomi, out of fifteen reviews, fourteen said it?s the beginning of a romantic relationship. One said Allen killed Lisa with Andy.
-
Since I am an eternal optimist, I will go with the crows and say it is the beginning of a romantic relationship. Hope I'm not wrong.
Comment from lyenochka
Um, so the pet rock went by himself? I doubt any woman would make an appointment with a shoe salesman to come to the house. I feel a Twilight Zone moment here. Good luck on the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018
Um, so the pet rock went by himself? I doubt any woman would make an appointment with a shoe salesman to come to the house. I feel a Twilight Zone moment here. Good luck on the contest.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018
-
Most reviewers say it?s just a slice of life look at a telemarketer and a budding romance. One said Allen kills Lisa with the rock.
Comment from Rickie1
Your age is showing, as well as mine. :-) This sales technique goes back to the 50s or early 60s. Pet rock was a bit later.
I sold magazines door to door when I was 13 in 1965. You brought back memories. Thanks
Before six...before my husband got home. :-) Iove it.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018
Your age is showing, as well as mine. :-) This sales technique goes back to the 50s or early 60s. Pet rock was a bit later.
I sold magazines door to door when I was 13 in 1965. You brought back memories. Thanks
Before six...before my husband got home. :-) Iove it.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018
-
This story is hinting to a by-gone era, for sure.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job, Bill, with your contest entry. What will those tele-marketers think of next? Hopefully Lisa is smarter than what you picture her. She is shoe happy and it could get her in trouble. Best wishes. Jan
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018
You did a good job, Bill, with your contest entry. What will those tele-marketers think of next? Hopefully Lisa is smarter than what you picture her. She is shoe happy and it could get her in trouble. Best wishes. Jan
Comment Written 26-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018
-
Thank you, Jan.